Sentiments by Sophia

North Carolina ~ Day 2

Oh my word, what an emotional day I had yesterday!  It was absolutely incredible.  Where to begin?

 

First of all, spending this time with my dad has been so interesting.  Keeping in mind that I've seen my father once in the past 26 some years... it's like we are two people connected but, in a way, strangers.  So, it's interesting watching him and getting to know him.  I love my Dad.  This is so hard to watch him hurting.  He is weak and not at all the man that I used to know.  That was the man in high gear, ready to roll, always on the move.  My sociality and personality definitely came from my dad.   However, today, he's a very quiet and subdued person.  Pensive was the only word that came to mind today.  Definitely interesting.

 

Now, about our first day together.  Dad was up and ready to go at 6AM.  He waited patiently for me to get ready and we started off on our morning adventure.  Dad took me into the woods, miles in to the woods, in the rain, to the cemetery where my Grannie's "people" were buried.  By the time we arrived, it was pouring the rain so hard that I couldn't even hear my dad's voice in the car.  Like being in a carwash.  Incredible rain that Utah never sees.  It was exciting for me to see the graves of my Grannie's parents and to learn that my great grandmother's real name was Roxanah, not Roxanne.  This is a family cemetery and I didn't get to spend any more time than that there because of the rain.  I felt sick to leave because I would have loved to have photographed every headstone there and then put the pieces together when I got home.  Sadness, but joy!

 

After this trek, we picked up Aunt Sue and went to lunch for some good old country food!  I'm talking hushpuppies, BBQ pork, hushpuppies, fried cabbage, rutabagas, hushpuppies, flour bread, okra,  hushpuppies, sweet corn, butter beans, BBQ chicken... and did I mention hushpuppies?  Oh my!

 

Dad was weak and barely said a word during lunch, so I took him home to rest and drove for a couple of hours in the rain to two more cemeteries with Aunt Sue.  She doesn't care for graveyards and so we just drove past them.  I did get out at her husband, my uncle David's grave alone. Can you just feel my anxiety being so close and yet so far!  After a while, we drove back to her house and visited some more until Dad called and was ready for me to head back to pick him up.

 

As soon as Dad got into the car, I said, "Let's go to the Sampson Cemetery!"  I'd memorized the route incase I needed to get back myself.  There was a light mist of rain when we arrived, but Dad got out and showed me his grandfather's grave.  I remember meeting my great-granddaddy once when I was about four.  I knew nothing about his wife and only knew his name and some other "possible" names for his parents and grands.  We found their graves, I took a few photos and walked back to the car with Dad, feeling a bit let down because I knew that there were more names waiting to be found.  I asked Dad if he would mind sitting in the car for a few minutes while I walked around and looked for one name. 

 

OH. MY. HECK!  I was literally praying, out loud, to find anything.  As the words were coming out of my mouth, I looked in front of me and found my great-great grandparents graves!  I started to bawl!  This was such a high for me!  I called out to Dad and told him that I had found his great grands.  He wasn't too concerned and I said I needed another minute.  Three minutes later and half the cemetery behind me, I was racing up and down the rows, reading names as fast as I could and I said another out loud prayer.   Again, no sooner than I spoke the words, I found my great-great-great grandparents!  This was unbelievable, but, I literally could feel these connections from generations beyond cheering me on in the cemetery.  I called Doug sobbing!  It was so exciting, something that I've never experienced in my life!  Connections from my past that I knew nothing about!  I can not describe the thrill!!!  Dad was getting antsy to go, so we did. I'm hoping that if he naps today, I'll be able to get back out there again!  I just know that there is more waiting and it's taken me decades to make the progress in my family history that I made in less than ten minutes yesterday.  WHAT A GIFT!

 

We then drove out to the cemetery where my grandparents are buried.  Also, one of my only two cousins.  Keith died a few years ago and seeing his grave was the first time that it really hit me that he was gone.  Another little cry.  Up down Up down.  Being at Grannie and Granddaddy's grave was not as hard because I'd been there for their funerals.  But, I did feel such a connection to them.  And my favorite Uncle Bobby.  Again, a gift.

 

So, four cemeteries in six hours.  Some might find this strange.  But, for me, I felt roots that I needed to find.

 

Also, we went to the home that my dad built for us to live in when I was just a toddler.  It's owned by my living cousin's wife and used as their business base.  My mind was reeling with early childhood memories, almost like watching a video of the first 7 years of my life... seeing the silver foil Christmas tree in the window, remembering my mom finding the snake in the hamper, seeing my little brother in his highchair in the kitchen.  Wow.  Powerful, vivid memories.  Dad and Aunt Sue commented several times that they could not believe the depth of my memory.  A gift!

 

As the day ended, we stopped by my only living cousin, Kent's.  WOW!  Seeing Kent was more wonderful than I could have imagined.  We visited an hour then he came to Dad's later in the night for more time together.   We're all going out for seafood (and hushpuppies) on Friday night!  I have southern roots and I'm feeling them so strong and powerful.

 

I think that the two most difficult parts of the day were the realization that Dad is sick.  Very sick.  AND seeing Grannie and Granddaddy's property with the home gone.  It was burned to the ground (arson) only weeks after Grannie's death, the last time I was here was to speak at Grannie's funeral.  So, this was another reality for me... it's gone.  Again, more emotion.  I must have driven back down that road a dozen times yesterday...and cried each time.

 

Oh!  Another huge emotion... It was amazing to me that yesterday, was literally, the day...the 27th anniversary of the day that Granddaddy died.  EXACTLY to the date.  March 30, 1984.  What are the chances that I would be standing at his grave in NC on that exact date?  who knew.

 

Seeing these things in person makes them real.  Hearing about them never had the power that this has had.  Aunt Sue asked me why any of this mattered to me because the past is the past and can't be changed.  I told her, "It's who I am.  It matters the world to me." 

 

The emotions, the connections, words can't describe.  I am so so thankful for this few days.  A gift.

North Carolina ~ Day 1

My big adventure began when the very rude shuttle driver picked me up in Logan.  Not amused.  It was FREEZing in the shuttle.  I mentioned that I was cold and he ignored me.  It was only myself and one other lady.  Not amused.  I'm just saying here. BUT.  If you're going to have a job working with the public, like people.  Please.

 

When I arrived in SLC, they were begging people to be bumped.  I figured why not and signed up.  While waiting, I thought I'd better check with the car rental place in Raliegh.  I was grateful to have listened to that little voice because they closed at 10 and the plane that I would have been bumped to wouldn't land until almost midnight.  So much for that idea.  However, I think that my dad would have passed out if I'd have been another second later.  He was so excited!  A very weak excited, but excited just the same.

 

Flight-wise, the SLC-Chicago flight was totally  booked and every seat was taken.  EVERYseat.  I happened to decide to sit next to a man with a baby who was in front of the row with his wife and kids.  People were avoiding them at all cost.  I was happy to stay there and willing to help with the baby.  However.  The VERY last available seat on the plane, between us, was taken by a very large girl.  VERY large girl who looks like that cute young girl with the curly hair on Biggest Loser this season.  She took up half of mine, the dad's and all of her seat.  I spent the flight leaning out in the aisle, with my one leg in the aisle and the other being sat on.  I felt terrible for her.  So much for helping the dad.  We all slept most of the way.  I actually listened to a Michael Wilcox Book on the iPod and watched Mamma Mia part of the flight too.  Oh, and I ate my EIGHT dollar 2 slice of turkey on two slices of very dry bread.  I think I'll stop at Subway on the way to the airport Saturday! 

 

I stood in line in Chicago in front of a man who CHEWED me out because he was #39 and I was #40 but in front of him.  I'd gotten there before him and no one said that we had to coordinate and check our papers together.  I had no idea tht one seat when there are 120 behind you would matter.

 

Thankfully, my moment was redeemed when I walked in and got the bulkhead seat next to the sweetest young black man who was traveling with his 9 year old nephew.  Before we parted at the curb where the shuttle picked me up in Raliegh for the rental car, we hugged goodbye.  This young man was amazing... he'd been hit by a missle in Afghanistan and had spent two years in the hospital.  His life was spared and he feels that he has a purpose.  His career now is helping disabled vets.  He actually offered me two tickets to a big Nascar event in Virginia this weekend. (I'm not a NASCAR fan so I don't know what it was... it could be the racing superbowl for all I know.)  I declined because I'll be home already but what a wonderful person! 

 

I was intrigued by the contrast of the cranky man, the snotty shuttle driver and then this total stranger who was so giving and kind.  He made my day!

 

I got the rental car and drove 100 miles to Dad's.  we sat up and talked until midnight.  He was tired.  Very tired but so happy to have me here.  I can see that he's very nervous about dying.  We'll  have much to talk about.

 

Today, BBQ and hushpuppies for lunch,  if he's up to it.  It's rainy. Very rainy.  We're going to the cemetery and I don't mind getting wet.  Dad may have to sit in the car while I take some pictures.

 

I feel so blessed to be here.  And I have to note that Doug reported that we had two meals brought in and homemade bread from Natalie last night.  It's wonderful to be so loved and blessed.  Life is good!

 

 

anxiety busters

This morning, I'm in a shuttle on my way to the airport to visit Dad.  I'll be flying out at 11 and landing at 7EST.  I've had such anxiety over this trip and found this list last week.  It was the perfect thing for me to learn about fighting these little anxiety demons.  A lot of people take meds for anxiety.  I'm married to granola man and his believes have rubbed off on me.  I like to find the natural way to help the situation before the medical solutions. So, How To Tuesday this week is:

50 Quick and Easy Ways to Calm Your Anxiety

Published on Monday 28th 2008f July, 2008

Whether you're worried about work, home or personal issues, stress and anxiety can take a heavy toll on your mental and physical health. Many serious illnesses are caused in part by stress, and constant worry can leave you feeling worn down, irritable and out of control. So how can you learn to manage your anxiety? While everyone manages their stresses differently, here are a few things to try the next time you're feeling overwhelmed by anything in your life to help you relax and put things in perspective.

General

Try these simple things to ease your anxiety.

1. Exercise. Few things can help relax you more quickly than a bit of vigorous exercise. Whether you kickbox, jog or play a game of tennis, getting your body moving will help reduce endorphins, improving your mood and making you feel better about anything you're worried about.
2. Meditate. When you feel yourself being overwhelmed with anxiety, try taking a few minutes out of your day to clear your mind of your worries and meditate. If you have trouble doing it alone, try using a guided tape or music designed especially for meditation.
3. Breathe deeply. Sometimes just concentrating on your breathing can have a calming effect on your state of mind. Count your breaths and concentrate on breathing in and out deeply.
4. Focus on something else. Fight your anxiety by temporarily shifting your attention to something else unrelated to what you're upset about. You may find that once you're done you feel much better about the situation and are much more relaxed.
5. Talk to others. Connecting with a friend or family member and sharing your anxieties can be a great way to get insight, advice and to alleviate some of your stress by getting support and understanding.
6. Clear your mind. When you are feeling stressed out you can have so much going through your mind that it simply seems overwhelming, only adding to you anxiety. Take a few moments to step back and clear your mind of all of it before starting anything else.
7. Slow down. Give yourself a break and just slow down if you're feeling stressed out. Getting yourself worked up to rush around won't help, so slow down, take a break and let yourself relax.
8. Don't work yourself up. When you're worried about something it's easy to focus on it and get yourself super worked up so that you just want to break down. Stop yourself if you feel that you're getting yourself riled up, and force yourself to calm down and look at things rationally.
9. Let the past go. If you're feeling bad about things that have already happened, take a moment to realize that there's nothing you can do to change these things now. Take steps to begin letting the past go and making positive choices for the future.
10. Count to ten. Sometimes anxiety can take over and make you feel out of control. Take back control by counting to ten, breathing deeply and concentrating on calming down.
11. Be optimistic. No matter what you're feeling anxious about, you can help make yourself feel better by taking an optimistic view of things rather than focusing on all the things that could go wrong.
12. Learn to let go of control. Even the most carefully planned events in life can take unexpected turns. Sometimes the only cure for anxiety caused by these things is to simply give up control and let someone else take over.
13. Look at the big picture. Sometimes things that don't really matter in the long run can get you all worked up in the present. Remind yourself of how your worries will fit into the larger picture of things and it may give you some perspective.
14. Face it head on. If nothing else works, just try facing your worries head on. Many times, things will be easier, better or simpler than you had anticipated and your worries will have been unfounded.

Diet and Supplements

These tips can help you make some changes or additions to your diet to minimize your anxiety.

1. Limit your intake of caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant and can add to any existing anxiety and make you feel worse than you would otherwise. If you're stressed, avoid drinking coffee or other caffeinated beverages.
2. Try lavender oil. Some people believe that the smell of lavender has a calming effect. Try lighting a candle or putting some lavender oil on your skin or in a bath to help you relax.
3. Make a cup of tea. Tea, especially green and black teas, contain theanine which is purported to have a calming effect on the mind and body. So boil some water and make yourself some tea to relax.
4. Cook yourself a meal. Getting involved in the process of preparing, cooking, and eating a meal can be a great distractions from a number of stresses. If you're really feeling down, try making your favorite meals or comfort foods.
5. Have a snack. Some studies have suggested that low blood sugar can be a major contributor to anxiety. Make sure your body is running on a full tank by having a healthy snack.
6. Consider herbal supplements.If you're into natural remedies you may want to consider taking some herbal supplements like valerian root, L-theanine, and passion flower.
7. Have some milk. The age old remedy of having a warm glass of milk to relax may actually work. Milk contains tryptophan which can help settle you down and make you sleepy.
8. Enjoy pesto for dinner. Basil has shown to be a very calming herb, so what better way to get your fill of basil than by making a pesto?
9. Indulge in chocolate. Eating a small amount of high quality dark chocolate may help you to relax and will help indulge your chocolate cravings as well.
10. Chew on mints. Mint can help with lowering feelings of anger and nervousness, so have a mint or add fresh herbs to dinner to feel better and smell fresher.

At Home

For stresses at home, give these suggestions a try.

1. Light a scented candle. Certain scents can have a calming effect on your state of mind. Try a candle scented with lavender or a another smell like chocolate or baking cookies that may help you relax.
2. Indulge yourself. Whether you enjoy a glass of fine wine or soaking in a long bubble bath, take time to indulge in some simple pleasures to soothe your anxieties.
3. Take a shower or bath. The hot water and relaxing sensation of a shower or bath can help wash away your anxieties and help you feel better.
4. Get a massage. Seek out a professional or get your spouse to give you a massage. It can help relieve some of the physical and mental symptoms of stress.
5. Do something you enjoy. If you love to browse bookstores or take long walks in the park, take some time out of your day to do these things. You'll have fun and spend some time away from your worries.
6. Work at some simple chores. Doing some work around the house like sweeping, washing the dishes or gardening in the yard can be a great way to relieve stress, get things done and ease your mind.
7. Lay down. One way to get your anxiety under control is to take a short nap. Sleep will relax you and give you a chance to take your mind off of things.
8. Watch a funny movie or comedy routine. Laughter really can be the best medicine sometimes, especially when it comes to dealing with stress. Pop your favorite movie into the DVD player or turn on Comedy Central to have a few laughs and forget your troubles.
9. Write in a journal. If you can't find someone to talk to or just want to privately vent, try writing in a journal. It can be a great way to organize your thoughts and get your bottled up emotions out.
10. Do some yoga. Yoga can help both your mind and body by helping you stretch your muscles and concentrating on your breathing.
11. Go for a jog. Jogging can help you get some exercise which will relax you and will get you outside in the sunlight and fresh air.
12. Research your problems. If you just can't get your mind off of your troubles, trying researching how you can work around them, overcome them or deal with them through books, the internet and chatting with others.
13. Read a book. Try picking up a book to help you escape to another place and concentrate on a fictional character's problems rather than your own.
14. Spend time with a pet. Playing with, walking or just enjoying the company of a pet can be a great way to relax. The love and affection pets provide can be a great stress reliever, and you'll get to spend time with something you love.

At Work

Work can be a stressful environment, but you don't have to suffer from constant anxiety with these suggestions.

1. Take a break. While it may seem counterintuitive when you're stressed out at work, taking a break can have a beneficial effect on your mental state. Take a few minutes to get away from your desk and the source of your stress.
2. Go outside. Sunlight is a natural mood booster, so getting outside and away from your desk can be a great way to lift your spirits.
3. Take a walk. Getting a little exercise and even getting outside of your cubicle can really help alleviate stressful situations. Walk around your office, take a trip to get a drink or anything else that will give you space and room to think.
4. Create a plan of attack. When you're faced with an overwhelming and anxiety-inducing situation, you can help yourself by working to create a way to deal with the situation. Sit down and write out how you plan to get through it, step by step.
5. Avoid coworkers who may make it worse. Some people just love to feed the flames of stressful situations. If you have a coworker like this, make sure you steer clear of them until you've had a chance to calm down.
6. Put on some relaxing music. If you're sitting at your desk, put on some headphones and let yourself be relaxed by your favorite tunes.
7. Step back. Sometimes situations seem impossible to deal with at first. Give yourself some time and space to step back from the situation to view it objectively so you can figure out how to deal with it and calm down to think clearly.
8. Don't rush. Even if you have a million things to do at work that are stressing you out, rushing won't help: it can actually make you even more stressed. Slow down and do your work right the first time so you won't have to go back and fix errors you made from rushing.
9. Ask for help. If you really just have too much on your plate at work don't be afraid to ask your coworkers for help. Projects have to get done one way or another and it can help to get things done as a team rather than having all the stress just on you.
10. Read something funny. Take a break from your work to have a laugh. Laughter can help alleviate all the stress that's causing your anxiety.
11. Talk to your coworkers. Getting your feelings out to someone you work with may help you find new ways to cope, create solutions or just help you relax.
12. Talk yourself through a situation. Believe in yourself and know that you can get through a situation, and you're likely to be much less stressed. Give yourself a pep talk and talk your way through anything you need to do to help reduce your anxiety.
    
    And my own personal number one way to relieve anxiety... Pray!

 

 

 

how to

I'm packed and ready to roll!  Iwas up at 4:30 because I couldn't sleep.  Ironically, I take about five times this amount to the ranch for our girls night out!  This is called Carry On only!  I've never been home that they didn't lose my luggage.  SO, I'm taking that factor out of the equation.

Here's my How To Tuesday...

How to leave your family for five days and not worry... much:

• Have a wonderful husband who's totally supportive and helpful in all things!
• Have family like the B's, who will keep track of kids when husband's not around.
• Have friends like Connie and Denise, who will check on everyone and make sure that there are no needs!
• Have a mother who will make lasagna and bring it over, along with treats.
• Have a great visiting teacher like Nyla, who offers to be there anytime for anything!
• Have the laundry done, the house clean and food stocked in the fridge and freezer, plus icecream.
• Have a lot of faith that all will go well at home and away!
• Say LOTS of prayers.

I'm hoping to blog while I'm gone, even if it means doing it on the iPhone to say hello each day.  Lots of pictures to come when I get home.  The babes are already excited to wake up Sunday morning to the smell of fresh baking cinnamon rolls for LDS General Conference, so I'll get busy as soon as I get in!  As excited as I am to go, I'm also very excited to come home to my family!  Life is sweet, crazy and goooo-ooooood!  (Said in my best southern drawl!)

Where we love is home,
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. 

boy, howdy!

What a weekend...

Saturday, the plan was for my mom to do my nails, to give my lesson my attention for the majority of the day and then take Gracie to the YW Broadcast.  Instead,  we tended with Zaylee for the afternoon while Liza and Buddy(who had her for the weekend since Kelly was working) could celebrate their sixth anniversary.  Later in the afternoon, Kelly ended up in the hospital until the wee hours of morning. Apparently, she had another mild heart attack.  I was shocked that they didn't keep her again because the last one, she spent five days.  We were stunned again. I knew that something was wrong the second that I heard her voice on the phone.  She's home and on medications with an appointment to see the cardiologist today.  Kelly's lived a hard life, but now, when she seems to be getting it together, it's catching up with her in a delayed reaction.  Thankfully, there were no drugs involved and this is a medical problem, nothing else.  All I know is that my 31 year old daughter shouldn't be having heart issues!  What a blessing to live in the day and age of modern medicine.  With all that happened, it was midnight before it hit me that we'd missed the Young Women's broadcast, so Gracie and I will watch it online instead.  I was heartsick over that!

Yesterday, I taught my lesson and felt great about it.  After the lesson, our sweet, wonderful Relief Society President announced that she and her presidency were going to be released in Sacrament Meeting, due to the health issues of two of them.  We've all worried for these kind women, who bear the weight of the entire ward on their shoulders so well.  Now, my visiting teacher, Nyla, has been called to serve as the new RS president and she and her new counselors will be fabulous.  This is one of the things that I love so much about the church... it goes right along with the message that I taught in Relief Society yesterday.... each one of us has a purpose.  It takes each and every one of us to get the job done... no one is any more or less important than the other and what matters most is that we love and support each other in all things.

After church, Doug and Quayd going out to collect fast offerings and then home teaching together, which was when I shot that photo of them walking down the street.  It was COLD outside!  I must say that I adore this man who is such a great father and example to this son who looks up so much to him!  I love them both so much!  It was a great Sabbath day!

Liza and Buddy brought Zaylee for the birthday dinner.  Connie joined us.  Mom wasn't up to it.  But, we had a fun meal of Mexican Haystacks then the B's joined us for Root Beer Floats and/or pies.  Connie made Lemon pie and Strawberry Pie.   Mom and Marie Calendar made pumpkin and applecrumb.  MMMM!  Then,  Liza and Buddy brought in Doug's gift - thelargest rake I've ever seen and...  Very funny!   The visiting afterward while the kids all played downstairs was my favorite part of the afternoon!  Watching Miki and Zaylee together was cute.  They wanted our iPhones to play with.  It's amazing to me that babies can operate them as well as their blocks and toys!

Speaking of which, later, Buddy gave me some more instructions on how to use my iPhone and he did a little work on the computer before they went home.  He teased me because he bought me a book about using my iPhone, so that I'd not call him every five minutes, I'm sure.  I looked the first thing up in the book, couldn't figure it out and still called him.  I heart Buddy!

While we were all in the gallery, Zaylee found the candle box with the remaining 23 candles in it and took it upon herself to decorate one piece of leftover pumpkin pie with them all!  She'd been quiet for a while and this was why.  She'd put the candle in the pie, take it out, lick it and then put it back in.  Nummmmy!  What a pill!

As the evening wound down, Doug thanked me for the wonderful birthday, which I believe he loved every minute of.  Oh my, at dinner, ZJ suggested that we "play the game where we all tell Dad what we love about him".  It was a riot.  Everyone named two or three things and then it was her turn.  After about a dozen, I suggested that she be done.  She bowed out gracefully and I continued "or maybe just two more".  Before the words were out of my mouth, she carried on, "Okay!  I love Dad' because his toes are pointy on the one side because he always wore cowboy boots when he was a little boy and mine are a little like that too."  Now, that was funny enough but, she then began to lift her foot to show us and received a unite, "That's okay!"  We all laughed out loud!  ZJ had made name cards and set the table for dinner.  She is quite the little entertainer... toes on the table and all!

Even with worrying about Kelly, I'm still excited for my trip tomorrow.  Today's to do list is a mule long!  The Airport Shuttle picks me up at 8 in the morning and it will be after 10PM when I arrive in my rental car in Dad's town.  Tomorrow will be a long travel day.  Dad is SO excited and so am I!  Life is good. 

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

Doug's 57! almost half-way there, he says!

Today is Doug's 57th birthday.  And he just gets better everyday!  Doug, as I write often, is my GranolaMan, cowboy, farmer, fun-loving, hard-working, most humorous but extremely quiet husband.  I adore this man.  He is an example of honesty and integrity, he's a good-finder and a good-doer.  I learn much by his faith, his patience and love shown toward each person that comes in his path.  He's known as "Smilin' Doug" at work, he's known as "Babe" and "Dad" at home.  He's known as friend to everyone he meets.  He's just, plain and simple, a good guy.  He would insist that I write that he's not perfect (although he is for me), so I share a few weaknesses to pacify him, as well.  He leaves cupboard doors open, he could be considered a "redneck" when it comes to inventing ways to fix things with duct tape and he is sometimes, kind to a fault.  But, as I said, he is the perfect man for me!  Besides that, he gives the best foot rubs ever and he keeps me laughing every day!  Happy Birthday, Babe!  I love you BIG BIG EVER SO BIG!!

The interview:  (His answers are quoted exactly.  My comments are in italics.)

I WANT:  Where do I start?
I HAVE: maybe more than I deserve.
I WISH: all the farmers in the US could do well.
I HATE: it when I let myself and others down.
I MISS: riding horses.
I HEAR: the silence of fresh snow outside.  But, the heats on.
I WONDER: if I can squeeze some cross country skiing in today.
I REGRET: not skiing more.
I DANCE: a little more carefully now.  I don't want to pull anything!
I SING: quietly!
I CRY: at all human accomplishment.
I AM NOT ALWAYS:  prepared.  (I can't put the first answer he gave me, but I'm laughing very hard.) 
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:  pretty good swamp cooler towers.  (Years ago, he made a swamp cooler tower to hold it up in the window on the back of our home.  We laughed for years about the fact that when we listed our home to sell, one of the first things that a buyer said was, "And it has a tower for the swamp cooler."  We're talking PRIMITIVE.  We're talking Red-neck.  He still is proud of that tower.  He'll never live it down.)
I WRITE: notes of all the things that I hope I don't forget.  (Doug can be lying in bed in the middle of the night and jump out of bed, turn on the light to write something down so that he doesn't forget.  He checks them off daily as he does them or forwards them to the next day if he doesn't get them done.  It's amazing, the detail.)
I CONFUSE:  the punch lines of my jokes. (Last year, he said, "Ashley and Mary Kate.", then made jokes about them all night long.  I'm still laughing.)
I NEED: more exercise!
I SHOULD:  exercise more, have more fun and work harder.
I START: the snowblower if I remember to turn the key on.

How old will you be this year?  57 Chevy!
Nicknames: for who?
Are you taller than your mother?  I hope so.  
Do you cry often during movies?  Yep!
What is your biggest pet peeve? the word Peeve.  
Favorite color:  White.
Favorite foods: Yes.
Favorite beverage: Yes.
Favorite cold cereal: my oatmeal menagerie, hopefully with 38% less jalepenos.  (He put them in his last batch and it's been fire every morning when he drinks his morning fruit and vegetable blender drink.  He said, "It burns going down and it burns ---"  Well... you get it.)
Favorite Smell: Cottonwood trees 
Favorite time of day: The hugs and kisses when I get home each day!
What is your favorite game? Hopscotch.  Just Kidding.  Then I reminded him that last year he said, "The game of Life" (real life).  He said, "Well that's a good answer.  Wish I'd have thought of that.  I should have made a note".
Do you play an instrument?  Chopsticks on the piano, but I talk like Donald Duck.
What was the last movie you saw? The Tourist.
What is your favorite article of clothing? That red canvassy shirt. My goosedown coat and my wool socks.  (He's said these for the past few years.  By the way, I hate that shirt.)
What is your dream vacation? Five years with the family in New Zealand.
What do you love most about your Mom? Her unconditional love.
What do your love most about your Dad?  His optimism!  His laugh!
What do you love most about being a Dad? Listening.
What do you love most about your wife?  Her puttingupwithmeness.  Is that a word?
What do you love most about being a husband?  Making you happy.
If you were an animal what would you be? a gazelle intent, according to Dave Ramsey, whos's talking about outrunning debt.  We don't have credit card debt, but he likes the concept of running.
What is your favorite "me- time" activity? "Your time? LONNNNNNNNNG PAUSE.  So many things that I can't make up my mind and then the hour's gone. 
What is one of your weaknesses? Getting distracted and not making up my mind.  
What would choose for dinner every night? Sandwiches with your homemade whole wheat bread
What is the emotion you feel the most? Happiness!
Do you consider yourself outgoing? 38% more than I used to be. spoken with a little reservation.
What are some of your talents? statistics. (har-har)  teaching kids to cross-country ski and to be excited about falling... if you're falling forward, you're learning.  (Wow, that's profound.)   
What is a word or phrase you overuse? I use "38%" 38% too much. (That's been his number for.ev.er.)
What was the hardest thing that happened to you this past year?  Facing the fact that my uncles are all gone.  That's when I truly mourned the loss of my dad.  As long as the uncles were there, part of my dad was still there.  With them gone, we're really on our own as far as the family legacy goes.  It's up to us to keep the family legacy.
What is the best thing that happened to you this year? Where do I start?  You still like me. 
The best thing learned this past year?  I'm trying to learn it.  "There "ain't nuthin we can't do." 
What was your favorite thing about being 56 years old? Where do I start?
What are you most excited about being 57 years old?   I'm looking forward to the next 57 years!
Is there anything else you want to say about turning 57?  I need to do one snowmobile trip this year!  I'm looking forward to our country healing.  I hope it's my best year ever!

The photos... Doug last Saturday in the back yard with Zaylee (he's an amazing grampie who talks like Donald Duck), Doug walking to the church with Quayd after collecting fast offerings (I love that he's such a good leader to our children!) and Doug shoveling snow (he's one hard working man and in 35 years, I've never heard him complain once!)

Happy Birthday, Babe!  You're one in a million!  I love you!

A Doug Quote:

Mistakes don't define you, they refine you.

Oh, How lovely is the morning!

 

We woke up to an inch of snow that fell in about fifteen minutes last night then blew over. The poor horse across the road doesn't look so happy this morning.  Today, a lesson to finish up on, nails to be done, birthday prep and the LDS Young Women's Broadcast, plus cleaning and other To Do list items.  A busy Saturday, indeed!  I started packing yesterday for my trip because it was a good open window to do so, plus I can add things as I need over the next few days.  Life is good!  (unless you're a horse in the wintertime in Cache Valley.)

Everyone has a burden.  What matters is how you carry it.

change of attitude!

There's a 90% chance of snow today, according to the radio news this morning.  It's going to be a busy day.  There's much to do.  I had worked myself into quite the tizzy over this whole North Carolina trip. Yesterday, I was in an almost panic.  But, I prayed about it then asked Doug and Stott for a blessing last night.  I've been feeling much more calm about it since.  MUCH more.  Now, I'm actually feeling excitement for it!  (Aren't these spring blocks adorable!?  Thanks again, Kara!  I heart them and they remind me of how much I love you!)

This week has flown by!  I can't believe it's Friday already.  I'm leaving on Tuesday and if you count down the way that I do, you don't count today and you don't count Tuesday because that's the day and you don't count Monday because then you're saying tomorrow and it's not a full day and you can't count Sunday because that's Doug's birthday and my Relief Society lesson, so that means that I've got one day till I go!  YIKES!  So much to do!

Before I go here's what on my list:

1. Survivor Marathon with Natalie (this morning)
2. Date night with Stott and Wendy
3. The Young Womens' Broadcast (Gracie's first!  We'll be going together!)
4. Teach my Relief Society Lesson
5. Give Doug a birthday Party with the family
6. Family Home Evening with the kiddos
7. Get my Nails done!  (thank you, MotherDear!)
8. Find a new pair of jeans
9. Prepare something for my family to eat while I am away (or at least buy something that Doug can cook.)
10. Pack and Get Ready!

I'm feeling much better about leaving.  I talked with Dad last night.  He's out of the hospital and hopefully will stay that way until I've come and gone.  He sounds weak but he's got big plans.  He's soexcited about me coming.  My hips were growing just from the conversation last night.  We'll be going to his favorite BBQ places for ribs and to another for BBQ pork sandwiches and another for fried oysters and hushpuppies. These are southern foods that no matter who's doing the cooking, they don't taste the same unless you're eating them in the south! Can you say MMMMMMM!?!?!? 

We'll also be going to the cemeteries were my family has been buried and I'll be doing some geneology!  Can't wait!   Dad's excited to help me make some connections.  Dad has planned a BBQ cookout and invited cousins (all second and third cousins) so that I can visit with them.  I lived there until I was 7, so I really don't know these people, but I'm excited to remeet them.   I really am feeling more excited about it now, but mostly about spending the time visiting with Dad.  It will be an interesting and wild few days.

Ihave  rented a car in Raleigh and will drive the two hours from the airport, then have a vehicle that I can drive us around in all week. Last night, when we visited, Dad said that he'll be waiting in town at the main intersection for me to pull in.  He can't wait for me to GPS it to the house.  I really am praying that he's up for all that he's got in mind!

As mentioned, this weekend is crazy busy.  Doug's birthday is Sunday, so I'll share his birthday interview on Sunday... it's always worth a few good laughs.  Gracie gets to attend her first General Young Women's Broadcast and I'm excited to share that with her tomorrow night.  In the meantime, Nat and I are going to watch the Survivor episodes that have aired so far this season and then I'll spend the rest of the day working on my lesson for Relief Society and reinstalling my printer so that I don't have the catastrophe that I did last month!  Have I mentioned that I love teaching Relief Society!

One last rambling thought... holy COW!  I've been making a packing list and in today's world, we need to take one piece of luggage just for the chargers and electronics!  It's insane!  But, isn't it nice to have the modern conveniences that can keep us plugged in if we need or want to be!  Enough said!

Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.

thursday morning emotions

somber ~For my entire life, wherever we go, my mother has strangers stop and ask her if anyone has ever told her she looks like Liz Taylor.  To the point that when we hear, "Excuse me", we laugh because we know what's coming.  Once, at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, a man followed her for over half an hour begging to have his photo taken with her because, even though she adamantly stated that she wasn't,  he knewwho she was.  Finally, Mom gave in and said, "Knock yourself out."  They posed together for the picture and the man left us alone. The fact that she dresses like she does and drips in diamonds didn't help the matter.  The photo above is mom at her 70th birthday party, two years ago, in my kitchen.  We laughed hard at her dressing up in sequins to come five houses up the street for a birthday dinner with her family.    When she was younger, I think she looked much more like Mz. Taylor.   Yesterday was a hard day for Ruby to lose her celebrity twin.  (A side note:  we laughed hysterically as Mom blew out her candles before  we finished singing Happy Birthday to her.  She'll never live that one down!)  It was sad news to hear that Elizabeth Taylor passed away. She lived a fascinating life.  Although eccentric, she was an amazing and giving woman.  RIP.

proud ~After our friend, Dave's funeral, Tuesday, we came home and I got busy doing my thing while Doug took a short nap.  The kids were pretty quiet, doing their own thing.  About an hour later, ZJ came into the gallery and told me that she had something to show me.  I followed her into the kitchen.  I'd gotten a few of the spring things out for the blog entry on pushing Spring, but ZJ had taken it upon herself to tablescape the table and hang the eggs from the chandelier to make things a bit festive herself.  Here's a photo of her first tablescape.  I must note that she went to the storage room and found some more of the spring decor for the table herself.  Also, notice that she pulled the pastel tupperware glasses to match.  I'm quite proud, if I do say so myself!

bewildered ~ Yesterday, I had lunch with Carol, which was the first time we'd seen each other in two weeks.  Now it will be another two because of traveling.  We talk every morning and usually in the afternoons, if we catch each other.  But, life is so busy.  With her teaching school and my crazy schedule, we do well to see each other once or twice a month.  I wonder some weeks, why life is passing by us all so quickly!  Christmas Eve was three months ago today.   My kids are growing up entirely too quickly.  And Looking at some of the photos last night... I am growing up (and out) too fast too!

appreciative ~  Last night was our annual Relief Society Social.  The theme was "A stroll down Memory Lane".  It was a lovely and simple evening that felt like a step back in time.  Dinner was served sixties style ~ ham, baked potatoes, homemade bread and green jello ~ no shredded carrots, a tradional Mormon joke!  The tables were decorated with wedding photographs from the sisters in our ward.  There were displays of old aprons, old hats, and the walls were covered with old photographs from the Relief Society activities in our ward over the past century.  A fascinating power point presentation was given about the Smithfield First Ward Relief Society since 1911.  It was a very successful evening.  Originally,  Connie and I were asked to be in charge of decorations, but, when we weren't sure if I would be visiting my dad this week or next, Connie did it all.  I was grateful to be there and thought that her idea of the wedding photos were great!  It was awesome to see some of the beautiful photos, some in sepia tones because they were that old!  I do love Relief Society more than words can say!

anxious ~ I'm having serious anxiety about going to see my dad next week for all sorts of reasons.  Leaving the family for five days, flying never has been my thing, the expense, seeing my dad for only the second time in 26 years, knowing that this is the trip to say goodbye to my dad (according to him).  The list goes on.  I'm excited to see family, but I'm seriously stressed over it.  This morning, as I woke up, I immediately thought about this anxiety and said a little prayer while waiting for the alarm to go off.  "Heavenly Father, please help me to feel peace and overcome this anxiety about this trip."  As the word trip left my mind, the radio alarm came on.  The first words I heard, "Two planes came into land with no contact from the tower in Maryland when air traffic controllers were changing shifts."  That's not what I needed to hear.  ;) 

grateful ~ for the gift of being able to see my dad once more, for technology and living in a world where I can be across the country in an afternoon, for a husband who's so dang wonderful and supportive, for living in a neighborhood/ward wish such amazing and talented people, for being a mom to such amazing kids, for a son-in-law who I adore, for the gospel that brings me peace even when I'm stressed, for spring on it's way, for life itself!  Enough said!

Blessed are those that can give without remembering
and receive without forgetting.

Dave Nielsen ~ a tribute... and a few laughs

When I married Doug, I knew that I was marrying a real cowboy who's family owned a real cattle ranch/wheat farm and that my city girl life would change forever.  I had no idea how different life would be for me, the southern North Carolina girl who moved to the big city of Miami for her teen years.   Only days after we were home from our honeymoon, I met Dave Neilsen, who was old enough to be my dad, a dairy farmer/cowboy, who lived the next farm up the road from the Corbridge cattle feedyards.  Dave wore his boots and cowboy hat, had very little hair, a crooked grin, a twinkle in his eye and usually could be found with a piece of black licorice in his mouth.  "Mormon Chew", he called it.  (The photo today is his casket spray, which included his old holey cowboy hat, in which he wore every day but Sunday.  Also, notice the sagebrush.  Beautiful.)

Our first encounter was passing each other on a dirt road between the two farms. Dave flagged me down, waving his cowboy hat out the window of his old pick-up truck.  We stopped in the middle of a ravine and his first words were, "Wellllll, helllloooooo!  You must be ole Dougie's wife!?"  I did know that Doug hated to be called "Dougie", but somehow, Dave got away with it our whole lives...and Doug loved it because coming from Dave, it was a term of endearment.

Dave then asked a question that made the hair on my neck stand up.  "Do ya like milk!?"  I hesitated, my mind spinning...He's a farmer=farmers have cows=cows get milked=ewwww.  Being the little proper southern born gal, spoiled and afraid to try new things, I answered, "Real milk or cow milk?"  Dave promptly explained that all milk was cow milk and didn't stop teasing me about that for years!  Today, I miss the taste of that fresh whole milk right from the cow that I grew to love that summer!

I had much to learn that first year.  First and foremost, being a cowboy/farmer's wife, you don't get to spend a lot of time with your husband in the summertime.  I spent as much time with Dave, his lovely wife, Margie and their four children as I did Doug, who was out fencing, herding cattle and driving a hay wagon.  Most of my time with Dave, we were laughing. 

I was fascinated by the things that he taught me.  Sadly, at this time, I was actually learning which was the cow and which was the horse.  When we were in Malad and not on the ranch in Soda Springs, I spent my afternoons in Dave's milking barn, watching him milk almost 200 cows each afternoon.  He milk eight cows at once with his milking machines.  Before the summer was over, I had learned how and when to open the shoots and to hook those milking "thingees" onto the cows udders and get them going.

Dave had two sons, DeMar, 14 and Bryan, 11. Dave teased me that they both had a big crush on me.  With the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen, the feelings were mutual!  I loved those boys and got to know them quite well that first summer.  I didn't know that boys could work so hard!  They taught me much about work and could do just about anything their father could do.  He also had two daughters who were busy at home following in their mother's footsteps, learning to do the household chores.  The old fashioned traditional family that I'd not grown up in.  This was an education in itself.

One of the funniest experiences of my lifetime was an afternoon that Dave and his boys were working in the hayfields, which made them late getting back to the barn.  Knowing that the cows must be milked on schedule,  I thought that I'd be ever so helpful and surprise Dave by herding the cows into the corral where they lined up to get into the shoots.  I'd gotten every single cow into that corral except one very stubborn gal who was not going in for anything! 

The cows were in a larger corral right next to the loading corral.  It had a huuuuuuuuuuuge  12' high mountain of manure, pile by Dave's tractor regularly, right in the center of it.  That very smart cow knew to go the other direction each time I approached her.  Feeling so proud of myself for helping Dave, I wanted to have every cow in so that Dave could get right to milking when he arrived.  After what seemed like an hour of playing cat and mouse with her, I decided to outsmart the cow.  There I was in my jeans and flipflops, chasing her back and forth in this huge pooey corral, I decided to climb over the manure pile and stop the cow in her tracks.   What I learned a few steps up the manure mountain, was that while it may look like just a big pile of nasty dirt and dehydrated hay on the top, it's a big pile of WET manure only inches below the sun-dried surface... A few steps up the hill and I sank hip-deep in the manure.  AND.  Naturally, that's exactly the moment that Dave and the boys pulled around the corner in the pickup to witness the whole thing!  My face was red and Dave laughed until he cried!  Note:  I never did retrieve my flip-flops and there's a reason that dairy farmers wear knee-high rubber boots all the time!

Another day, I was sitting on the steps in the milking barn. In a milking barn, the farmer stands a few steps lower than the cows in a sunken area so that the cows udders are more at eye level.  This way, the farmer doesn't have to bend over to milk.  Dave made me laugh out loud a lot!  One day, a cow decided to do her business and poop splashed off the concrete floor right into my mouth while I was laughing at something Dave had said.  Again, he laugh till he cried and assured me that it wouldn't hurt me, it was just alfalfa.  I gag as I type this story but with a smile.

Dave was a great man.  Yesterday, as we drove to Malad for his funeral, Doug and I reminicsed and laughed at the our experiences with Dave and his family.  Honestly, Dave added magic to that summer, as I adjusted to marriage and the small town life at the same time.  He and his sweet wife taught me about farming and cattle and love and marriage by example.  His lovely wife Margie died only a few years later of cancer.  It was devastating.  But, Dave carried on with a smile. He remarried and raised a step-son, like his own. 

His five children spoke at his funeral yesterday and, without a doubt, it was the most amazing funeral that I've ever attended.  Love of family, love of the gospel, love of hard-work, love of Christ were not only mentioned but spoken in depth by each of the children.   I love this man and will cherish the memories that I have with Dave and all that he taught me.  I'm inspired to be a better person and to look on the brighter side of things, once again, because of his example!

One last story... yesterday, his bishop and his Stake President spoke at Dave's funeral.  The Stake President shared that just a few weeks ago, he'd run into Dave in the hallway at church.  He asked, "How ya doin', Dave?"  Dave's response, "I'm good.  Ya know, old cowboys never die."  He  paused a second and continued, "They just smell like they did."  

A man who lives right, and is right,
has more power in his silence than another has by his words.

be positive!

We'll be driving to attend our friend, David's funeral this morning in the snow.  Hopefully, it will continue to be a mild storm.  Doug says that these kind of storms are good right now for keeping the fruit trees from budding too early.  Last year, the last storm after a few weeks of spring killed all of our cherries.  We heart cherries, so this storm is a gift, right?

I spoke with my Dad again yesterday. I made my reservations and will be flying to North Carolina to visit him next week.  In speaking with Dad, my cousin's wife and my Aunt Sue several times yesterday, I've already picked up a bit of my natural southern girl "twang", which I love so dearly.  My souther family asks, "Why I tawk so fuhny?" referring to my Utah accent, but it's only a matter of minutes with them that my childhood "speak" comes back to me.  Doug can always tell when I'm on the phone with my family. ;)

One funny little Gracism before I go on.  The Home Teachers were here to visit us on Sunday.  (In the LDS church, two men are assigned to be Home Teachers to two or three families and visit once a month with a short message.  This is a great way to keep the ward leadership aware of any needs of the ward members.  If there are needs, the home teachers are there to assist.  It works when the home teachers do. We have great home teachers! 

I digress.  Our Home Teachers were visiting and giving the message.  Brother Hardman was sharing the message on looking for the Good in things ~ the principle of the glass half full or the glass half empty.  He showed them a picture and asked the kids, "Is this glass half full of water or half empty?"  Quayd said, "Half-Empty."  ZJ said, "Half-full."  Gracie said, "I'd rather have it full of Seven-Up!"  There's a positive attitude!

Now... How to Tuesday:

At this point of winter, we're all starting to get a little antsy for spring.  Even though it's snowing again this morning and we have an inch of fresh snow on our deck this morning already, we can "push" spring up a bit by just a few inexpensive transitions in our home that take only minutes to do.

• First! Wash your windows!  At least, wash that storm door and hang a beautiful spring wreathe or welcome!  Sweep the front porch, get off the winter leftovers.  Even if it ends up snowcovered, put out a little spring welcome to your guests.
• Fill a clear glass bowl or container with pastel M&Ms or your favorite spring candies!
• Open the windows and air out the house every chance you get.  Turn the heat off in the afternoon, put on a sweater and air things out for an hour.  Get rid of that closed up smell.
• Burn a lavendar or lilac candle instead of the cinnamon and spicey fall scents.
• As soon as the branches start to blossom and bud, bring them inside.   A large vase of cherry blossoms or pussywillows speaks loudly of spring!
• Wrap a silk flower garland over an open curtain rod.
• A fresh or silk spring arrangement on the dinner table,  coffee table or entryway will be welcomed by all!
• Give your porch or entryway a little "shot in the arm"!  Use lighter fabrics.  Move some furniture.  Replace the entry with white or brightly painted items.  Add some fresh green houseplants or even better, some brightly colored potted flowers that you'll be transferring to your garden in the next month or so.
• Start some plants in a south facing window!  You'll move them outside as soon as the weather warms up but get a head start now.
• Sheer fabrics, soft florals and any garden elements you can find will add a feeling of spring... a new pair of garden gloves, a little trowel and packet of seeds in a basket are a great little addition to your entryway.  *You can pick thme all up at the dollar store for near nothing!
• Open the heavy drapes or take them down for spring.  Sheers only give the airy feel.
• Put away the heavy rugs in the entry way and bathroom.  Change your guest towels to something more springy.
• Remove all heavy fabrics and replace with lighter, and change pillows with floral or lighter shades.
• Clean out the fireplace and add candles or a large silk plant in place of the logs. 
• Put away the heavy fleece throws altogether or replace with a lighter crocheted afghan.
• Instead of having the fireplace be the focal point of the room, make it the window that looks outside.
• DUST!  Replace the darker wintry items with floral chinas, dishes, glasses, pitchers and photo frames. 
• Put away the flannel sheets and pull out some floral designs on the bed. 

I've begun my spring decorating.  On this beautiful snowy spring morning, maybe I should create a few pastel scarves and build a snowbunny out front. 

We have a choice. We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can make peace and work to extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find.
~ D. F. Uchtdorf

surprises of all kinds...

On Thursday morning, we received the call from our good friend, DeMar, telling us that his father, Dave Nielson had gotten up, knelt down to say his morning prayer and passed away.  Just like that.  What a perfect way to go.  We will miss his wild laughs and good humor.  His funeral is tomorrow morning in Idaho.   When I called Liza to tell her, she said, "Mom.  I'm so sorry.  He was one of your favorite people in the whole world."  And he was.  We will miss our annual visits with him!

On Friday morning, I met Denise and her grands at McDonalds for cards while the kids played.  I'd picked ZJ up from school for a pre-birthday lunch and because of my back, Gracie had stayed home to help with Zaylee.   Before we left McD's, her little nose was turning green and gross and I called Kelly to ask if I could take her into the doctor.  I was so grateful that it was me who got to do this.  We've questioned it for quite some time, but Zaylee needs to have her adnoids removed.  So, I got to hear the "Straight scoop" on the matter.  We'll be encouraging Kelly to follow up on that.  I've already offered to take her to the ENT.  Kelly's agreed. Thankfully!

 
ZJ's birthday was Saturday and we celebrated most of the day.  Shopping, family dinner at Texas Roadhouse and then home for the traditional treasure hunt and fun.  ZJ chose and decorated her own birthday cake, which is also tradition.  She chose pink sprinkles and wrote a giant ZJ on the cake.  The treasure hunt brought lots of laughs and fun.  Her one birthday wish was to have the B's join us for everything.  So, she got her wish.  According to Zeej, this was her best birthday ever!  YAY, Mom!

 
Liza and Buddy kept Zaylee Saturday night and took her home to Kelly and Kevin yesterday.  Kelly was so excited to have her daughter back at home, to have the funeral behind them and to get back to their normal life. It was a long and rough week for her. Now, today, she goes back to work, post surgery and post funeral.  Life gets real again. I have to add this photo of Zaylee when she woke up on Saturday morning.  That hair.  It just entertains us.  She's such a pill!

But she does clean up so dang cute!  This shot was right before the birthday party.  You can look at her and see that she's not feeling her best. 

 
Yesterday, when Doug arrived at church, he, being the Sunday School President, was informed that the Gospel Doctrine teacher was in SLC and wouldn't be there to teach the adult Sunday School Class.  When I walked into the chapel for Sunday School, I was asked to give the closing prayer. A few minutes later, Doug walked in and I asked him if he had been asked to give the opening prayer.  He said, "Babe.  I'm teaching the lesson."  With no preparation, he stood up and read the lesson, asked the questions and directed the discussion right from the manual.  I love that I have a husband who's dedicated and serves where and when he's needed without complaint.  Afterward, several people commented, "I could have never done that in a room full of adults!"  What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man!

After church and the home teachers, we took very long Sunday afternoon naps and enjoyed our first quiet and alone time at home in two weeks.  Between Liza and Buddy's cruise and tending Oops, then Zaylee for over a week, we've been in high gear.  My back is feeling great and back to normal, thankfully.  I loved having the weekend downtime to catch up on the house, to rest and relax and enjoy the family. 

The only real downer was that my dad called to tell me that they may have found more cancer.  I'm not sure what is really happening with Dad.  This has been going on for three months now.  He's had surgeries and procedures almost weekly and yet has still not begun his treatments.  When he called the first time this weekend, he was pretty blue and asked me to come and visit him in North Carolina.  He has decided not to take the treatments and to just "expire", as he called it.  The second time, he was more upbeat, but he wants me to come there because he's not sure if he will be well enough to come here and see the family one more time.  And so. As of now,  I will either be flying to North Carolina in the next few days or next week to visit my dad.  Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

So, suprises:

1. a death of a friend
2. birthday presents
3. a possible upcoming surgery
4. teaching a lesson with no preparation or advanced warning
5. an unexpected trip to my deep southern home

I'm doing things on the list, as though I am leaving on Wednesday, even if it ends up not being until next week or later.  I teach Relief Society this Sunday, so I have to travel around that and be here for my lesson.  Plus, Sunday is Doug's birthday.  The next week is the beginning of spring break, so this week is really is better for our schedule, other than my lesson.  We'll see what happens.  Regardless of the surprises that each minute brings, life is, as always, good!  Enough said.

It may be little, it may be big, but surprises happen when you least expect it.  Take what life gives you...delight in it and enjoy it.

happiness

 

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.

A Matter of Interpretation

Previously posted in April 2007

A very close friend and I had a difference of opinion recently. We both expressed our feelings about it, didn’t see eye to eye on the subject, discussed it briefly and moved on. In a marriage, this could be called a "spat". This wasn’t even a "spat", we simply disagreed on a matter. This topic has not been brought up since and probably won’t be again. In most relationships, even friendships, this is bound to happen. In my opinion, the closer you are, the more likely it will happen. And usually, we get over these little "issues" quickly. We can’t all agree on everything. Life would be pretty boring if we all thought and felt exactly the same.

Several years ago, I was involved in a large email group that went it’s separate ways because of one "issue". The "issue" was brought up, in my opinion, constructively. Several others reacted and within days, the loop dissolved permanently into several smaller groups. Many connections were lost. I thought I was involved in a , hopefully, lasting friendship with one particular girl. We drove hours and hours to get together often and spent countless hours on the phone in that few years. (This was obviously before the babes!) My friend and I were on different pages about the "issue". She took the disagreement very personally, as though my opinions were intended for her. In no way were they, even remotely, connected to her. Regardless, she reacted by ending our friendship. I was devastated. I lost this friend over a misunderstanding, something that I had written, and not even spoken. I’ve never lost a real friend permanently. I have had "issues" with friends, but, we’ve always talked them out, moved on, forgiven, forgotten. Losing this friend, to this day, is still a very painful experience.

The bottom line of this matter was that we were using the written word to communicate on a serious matter. I’ve commented to Doug many times that, in the future, we’ll be reading studies on internet relationships...the excitement that comes when we connect, the depth that can so easily develop and openness due to a certain anonymity, the anticipation that comes with the first face to face meeting, if time and money afford that opportunity. And sometimes, there’s the disappointment that comes with realizing that the relationship isn’t as solid as you thought it would be in real life. Quite frankly, reading what someone has written is still very difficult to capture the emotion and feelings; what’s truly being said. I’m very demonstrative and am often teased that even my writing is demonstrative. But, it is still difficult at times to hear what I’m saying...even with emoticons and italics and caps!

I’ve met dozens and dozens of online friends face to face. More often than not, the meetings are pleasant and fun. Some are great connections. Others, not so much. One was even a nightmare. We thought we shared everything under the sun in common, but one dinner in a city that we both happened to be in while I was teaching was all we needed to know that we were from two different worlds. We barely survived the dinner and emailed exactly twice after meeting. She was a wonderful person but we were as different as night and day in real life. I don’t think that either of us took it personally. We both realized that in writing, we connected, but in real life, there were too many differences. We moved on with no hard feelings.

Regularly, message boards and email groups flare up with heated debates. People say things more freely because there is less accountability when you are not face to face. Years ago, there was the fear of the "ax murderer" at the other end of the line. In the online scrapbooking world, I have become more comfortable, knowing (or, at least, hoping) that most of the time, I’m talking with another well-intended scrapper, someplace in the world who loves scrapbooking, creating, photography and family as much as I do. If we read something that sounds a little harsh, read it again, thinking, "Okay, they did NOT mean anything offensive by this. It may have been sarcasm or humor but it was NOT intended to offend." This helps even the most sarcastic or rude comment sound much better! I hope that when the studies are completed and written, that looking back over the first decade or two of internet relationships, that they’ll even have discovered some solutions to this problem. Until then, I share one of my favorite quotes of all-time by Brigham Young. It is something that I think that this quote should be engraved on the top of every keyboard! Enough said.

 

It is a fool who takes offense when none is intended.
It is a bigger fool who takes offense when it is.

ZJ's ten!

ZJ will be ten tomorrow!  Hard to believe that our baby is that old.  ZJ came to live with us when she was nine months old.  We're the only mom and dad she knows.  She's my biggest helper.  She's smart.  She has grown-up ears that don't miss a thing. Her curious nature can be gets her in trouble for being into things she shouldn't be, but whenever I need to know where something is,  she always knows.   "It's in Dad's top drawer.... it's in the storage room behind the humidifier."  She knows.   Hmmmm? 

She's such a helpful child and can do most everything that I do.  She can do laundry, cook lots of things, clean the kitchen as well as me I do.  She does have a grown-up personality in lots of ways, which I attribute to her preschool years and going to lunch every day with me.  She prefers Chili's to McDonalds and knows the servers by name.   She loves babies and animals of all kinds and has a very tender heart.

She is strong-willed and will take a stand when she feels the need.  "Mommy's aren't supposed to take away their kids toys!" She says it respectfully, but she does make her point.  She is 100% Daddy's girl. She loves to do whatever Doug is doing, whether it's pruning trees or hiking.  She has a bit of a tomboy side to her, but yet, she'd rather wear a dress than pants anyday.  She has a strong sense of propriety, of what's right and wrong and she is quick to let you know.  She's got "attitude"!  In short, ZJ keeps us on our toes.   

The interview: 

I WANT:  A boy Liv Doll.
I HAVE:  a family!
I WISH: there was no school invented.
I HATE: homework.  and spiders. 
I MISS: Fancy.
I HEAR: birds in the morning.
I WONDER: if there's a volcano in Cache Valley?
I REGRET: hitting my sister.
I AM NOT: hmmm? hmmmm? I am not an electronic kind of person. Gracie is.  And Quayd.
I DANCE: with my Karaoke machine.
I SING: along with my Karaoke machine.
I CRY: When my sister pinches me extremely hard.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: tired.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:  I draw lots of pictures with my hands. 
I WRITE: some stories.
I CONFUSE: Math. 
I NEED: an iPad.  (Last night, she said she wanted me to buy her one for Christmas.  I said, "I'll buy you three, okay?" being sarcastic.  She, very seriously said, just as sarcastic, "No, one will do.  But, thanks anyway."
I SHOULD: hmm.  learn more about math, I guess.
 
I START: sleeping in in the summer.  Right now, I have to wake up too early.

How old will you be this year? Ten!
Nicknames: Zeej.
Are you taller than your mother? Not yet!
Do you cry often during movies?  It depends.  If they are really sad.  Like the movie Up made me cry when the grandmother died.
What is your biggest pet peeve? When Gracie comes into my room.  It gets really annoying.
Favorite color: GREEN!
Favorite foods: Tacos and Poppy Seed Spinach Salad
Favorite beverage: hmm.  Orange Juice.
Favorite cold cereal: Hmm.  I'd say Capt. Crunch and Honey Bunches of Oats.
Favorite Smells: Mommy's cookies!
Favorite time of day: When I get home because there's no more school and because we get to play and have fun.
What is your favorite game? Greedy!  It's better than Uno, I have to say.
What book are you reading now? 1, but I have four more to go.  I'm rereading all of the Harry Potter books again. 
Do you play an instrument?   Yes, piano.  I'd like to take bagpipe lessons but I don't have a bagpipe.  (Please pass where that came from?)
What was the last movie you saw? Harry Potter
What is your favorite article of clothing? Tank tops over my long sleeve shirts, but I would not wear one without a shirt under it because it would be immodest.
What is your dream vacation? Going to Hawaii because they have coconuts.
What do you love most about Dad? His milkshakes.  (she giggles).  His smile and his beautiful eyes.  and his bald spot. I like that he's a cowboy because he used to always ride horses.  I love that he's my dad and I don't have to live with other people.
What do you love most about Mom?  Her smile and her beautiful eyes and the things she wears.  Her cooking and she kisses us goodnight and she decorates alot.  She is a mom and she knows a lot of things!
If you were an animal what would you be? A dog because they are fluffy.  I'd like to be a pomeranian.
What is your favorite "me- time" activity? Dance on our trampoline.
What is one of your weaknesses?  I'm bad at math.
What would choose for dinner every night? I'd probably say Mac & Cheese but it would get annoying after a while.  I could eat icecream every day though.
What is the emotion you feel the most? I feel peace at home.
Do you consider yourself outgoing? I think so.
What are some of your talents? drawing, babysitting Zaylee, cooking.  I like running a lot.  Last year, I was the fastest girl in my class.  I'm very creative.
What is a word or phrase you overuse? Geesh.
What was the hardest thing that happened to you this past year? Hmm.  This past year.  Hmmm.  The hardest thing?  Math!
What is the best thing that happened to you this year? Hmm.  Well, I'm turning ten!  ____ ( a kid in her class) stopped bugging me.
The best thing learned this past year? Hmmm.  I've learned - pints, cups, quarts and gallons!
What was your favorite thing about being nine years old? I was the same age as Alyssa.
What are you most excited about being ten years old?   I'm practically one of the youngest kids in my class.  I'm looking forward to swimming in the pool and eating cookies. 
Is there anything else you want to say about turning ten? Hmm.  Well.  Hmm. Um. I'll almost be Gracie's size!

The years teach much which the days never knew.

Top of the Morning!

This morning, my back seems to be on the mend and I have no hives at all!  Now, I'm under husband's orders to baby the back until it's all better, not just getting better.  Okey dokey then. When you spend a week lying on a heating pad, there's really not much to write about.   Therefore and in behalf, a few ramblings...

• Yesterday, I reached my saturation point and turned off the TV.  I did the same thing with Hurricane Katrina.   Watched it for days and then crashed.  I couldn't stand the thoughts of all that pain and suffering any longer.  I feel guilty for even thinking this way because those unfortunate people in Japan don't have a choice, but I can't watch it anymore.  
• I can honestly say that up until this past few days, I knew nothing about Chernobyl, other than the fact that it was a place in Russia and that there was some disaster there a long time ago. I do now.  Live and learn.
• Kelly's mother-in-law's funeral is today.  Kelly said that dressing she felt good about it after the fact but dressing her was definitely a challenging task.   Rest in Peace, Sherry Barker.
• It's Green Day.  Gracie woke up extra early and made scrambled eggs for her and Quayd before we were even up this morning.  (She's definitely our morning person.) Normally, I prepare some sort of green meal today.  Something green and fun for the babes.  Something green and healthy for Doug.  I'm thinking I'll toss a cabbage and some corned beef into the crockpot and call it good.   Maybe some green punch for dinner.
• Carol is a kindergarten teacher.  She went into her classroom early this morning to set up.  She turned a few chairs upside down and messed up her classroom a bit, then hid some green spraypainted tiny shoes.   When the kids come in, she will tell them that a leprechan came into the room and lost his shoes.  They'll search for them and when they find them, they'll leave them by the door.  At some point and time during the day, the leprechan will sneak in for his shoes and leave a sack of gold coins (chocolate candy coins) for the class.  How cute is that?!
• Yesterday, I watched the Nate Berkus show for my third time ever. (Daytime TV annoys me.) He was talking about upgrading your home and said, "No one loves your wallpaper."  He was making the point that to sell a home, plain painted walls are better than trying to impose your taste on a buyer.  It made sense and reminded me of when we bought this home. The previous owners (friends of ours) had just papered the dining room walls.  On the very day that we closed on this home, we left the mortgage company and came straight here.  The previous owners remembered that they had left something in a cupboard and dropped by to pick it up.  This was a hour after the closing.  I felt terrible when they walked in and discovered half of their fresh new wallpaper ripped off the walls and in a big black trashbag on the floor.  Oops!  Nate is right.
• Denise just called and said she's taking me to lunch.  She's driving. We aren't going dancing or working out,  just getting a Chili's fix.  Then, I'll come right back home and lie down again.   It's been a week since we've been to Chili's.  That's always good medicine!  Doug shouldn't mind? Hmmmm? 
• Last but not least, on my rambling mind... a Kindle, a Nook or an iPad?  I don't need a 3G tablet to go to Chilis and grocery shopping weekly.  I don't need 64 gb because I have a laptop and a desktop.  BUT, I do need a new phone and will more than likely upgrade to an iPhone since I'm used to a Smart phone.  I do need an eReader.  I do need a new planner.  So, it would all cost about the same to just get an iPad, especially, if I drop the media package and buy a plain old phone.  But, seriously?  I already have a laptop, an iPod, a smartphone.  What to do, what to do?

Tomorrow, ZJ's birthday interview and hopefully a few fun pix.  I found today's quote and it was the first time I'd ever heard it... it's a good one.

Rock bottom is good solid ground,
 and a dead end street is just a place to turn around.

waaaahh

A very short whine today... I am covered in hives again and my back is not improving.  I had high hopes about my time with Zaylee this week and she is at Buddy and Liza's instead.  Thankfully, Buddy's mom is taking good care of her and she's not having to be involved in all of the drama of this funeral.   This was not the week for my body to let me down.

My heart is aching for Kelly and her family.  The graveside service is tomorrow.  There will be only a private family viewing.  Kelly is dressing her mother-in-law's body and doing her hair and make-up this morning.  I don't think she has a clue what to expect.  This experience is a first for her.  She was only ten when my step-dad died and that's the only death that she's had to be "up close and personal" to.  This whole funeral situation has been so unique, with much more to handle than just the loss of their mother. For their sake, I will be happy when this week is over. Enough said.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. 

 

 

in case of an emergency...

A few ramblings before How to Tuesday.

• Continued prayers and sympathy for so many families who's lives have been turned upside down in Japan. It's simply unbelievable to witness.
• Kelly came to visit Zaylee for a bit, yesterday afternoon. (Zaylee is staying between our home and Liza's through the week.  She had been through more than enough on Saturday morning when Sherri was found.) The funeral plans are made for Kelly's mother-in-law.  According to Sherri's desires, there will be no viewing, a graveside service only and then a "rockin" party all night long for the immediate family and close friends.  Kelly is still in shock, but they seem to be moving forward.  Again, my heart goes out to them all.  I pray for their peace and comfort during this time.  I asked Kelly if she would like us to attend the graveside service and she expressed appreciation, but assured me that we didn't need to attend, unless we want to "take up drinking".  (I appreciated that she is respectful of our differences.)
• It's a rainy grey Tuesday!  I heart Tuesdays, even though this Tuesday, I'll be resting on a heating pad and babying my back with ibuprofen after pulling something when lifting a loaded crockpot yesterday morning.  I'm sure that lifting Zaylee hasn't helped.  She's is at Liza's today.  Denise is in SLC today and it's going to be an "abnormal" Tuesday for me.  Perfectly timed, but abnormal.
• ZJ came up dressed and ready for school.  She'd been downstairs writing a thank you card to Grandma Toni for the St. Patrick's Day card that Toni had sent and a new Liv Doll toy that she dropped by last week.  All on her own.  ZJ will be 10 this weekend.  She's wise beyond her years in many ways.  She commented this morning, "I can't believe what Kelly said about drinking at a funeral."  She also has very big ears and doesn't miss much. 

HOW TO TUESDAY:

With the disaster that we are witnessing in Japan, I'm sure that we are all asking ourselves what we would do in a natural disaster (or as in Japan this morning with the nuclear explosions, an unnatural disaster.) One thing that the LDS church encourages it's members is to have be prepared for emergencies by having, at least, a 72 hour kit. The kit should contained and organized it could be carried with you, in case you need to evacuate your home. It's recommended that it be possible for each member of your family who is able to be able to carry it.  Below is a basic list of items to assemble and store in case an emergency were to hit your home.   Think about it... an unexpected winter storm or even a large power outage could create an emergency in which a 72-hour kit would be beneficial.

I copied and edited this list online, where there are many available.  There are also kits for purchase.  But, creating your own is a simple task.  Here's one of the best list that I found.

Directions: Print this list and check off each item that has been put into your 72 hour kit.  Keep a copy of the list available to replenish the kit, as the items included are rotated in the future.

Checklist: 72 Hour Kit

Food and Water
(A three day supply of food and water, per person, when no refrigeration or cooking is available)

• Protein/Granola Bars
• Trail Mix/Dried Fruit
• Crackers/Cereals (for munching)
• Canned Tuna, Beans, Turkey, Beef, Vienna Sausages, etc
• Canned Juice
• Candy/Gum (warning: Jolly Ranchers can melt and using mint gum might make everything taste like mint.
• Water (1 Gallon/4 Liters Per Person)

Bedding and Clothing

• Change of Clothing (short and long sleeved shirts, pants, jackets, socks, etc.)
• Undergarments
• Rain Coat/Poncho
• Blankets and Emergency Heat Blanks (that keep in warmth)
• Cloth Sheet
• Plastic Sheet (tarp or showercurtain)

Fuel and Light

• Battery Lighting (Flashlights, Lamps, etc.)
• Extra Batteries
• Flares
• Candles
• Lighter
• Water-Proof Matches

Equipment

• Can Opener
• Dishes/Utensils
• Shovel
• Radio (with batteries!)
• Pen and Paper
• Axe
• Pocket Knife
• Rope
• Duct Tape

Personal Supplies and Medication

• First Aid Kit and Supplies
• Toiletries (roll of toilet paper- remove the center tube to easily flatten into a zip-lock bag, feminine hygiene, folding brush, etc.)
• Cleaning Supplies (mini hand sanitizer, soap, shampoo, dish soap, etc. Warning: Scented soap might "flavor" food items.)
• Immunizations Up-to Date
• Medication (Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, children's medication etc.)
• Prescription Medication (for 3 days)

Personal Documents and Money
(Place these items in a water-proof container!)

• Legal Documents (Birth/Marriage Certificates, Wills, Passports, Contracts, etc)
• Vaccination Papers
• Insurance Policies
• Cash (it's recommended to have up to $100 in $1 bills and $25 in quarters... On Sept. 11, 2001, people in NYC were exchanging $20 bills for change to make phone calls.)

Miscellaneous

• Bag(s) to put 72 Hour Kit items in (such as duffel bags or back packs, which work great) Make sure you can lift/carry it!
• Infant Needs (if applicable)

Notes:

1. Update your 72 Hour Kit every six months (put a note in your calendar/planner) to make sure that: all food, water, and medication is fresh and has not expired; clothing fits; personal documents and credit cards are up to date; and batteries are charged.  Choose two weekends a year, empty the kit, let the kids eat the food for meals and replace everything at once.Check children’s clothing for proper fit. Adjust clothing for winter or summer needs.
2. Small toys and games are important too as they will provide some comfort and entertainment during a stressful time.
3. Older children can be responsible for their own pack of items/clothes too.
4. You can include any other items in your 72 Hour Kit that you feel are necessary for your family's survival.
5. Some items and/or flavors might leak, melt, "flavor" other items, or break open. Dividing groups of items into individual Ziploc bags might help prevent this.
6. Make sure that the kits are able to be carried by all.  If an emergency hit and your muscles were not there at the time, could you lift it into your vehicle or carry it elsewhere?  "Grab and Go" is the idea.
7. Store the kits in an easily accessible location.

In conversation this past weekend, Stott mentioned that a bike was a great asset after a disaster.  I thought that this was a good suggestion, which means, a bike tire pump is a good thing to have at home, as well.

Ironically, as I was adding my own two bits to this list above, GMA mentioned this very topic and added that every home in America should have five items.   I waited for that piece to air so that I could add it below:

1. A flashlight with batteries
2. Water and Food
3. A hand crank or battery operated radio
4. A First Aid Kit
5. Dusk Masks

In the story, they went randomly to homes to ask people to gather these items in their home in five minutes.  Water, they said was critical to have! Fewer than 10% of the people in America are prepared.

They also recommended an out of town contact and keeping a number in your cellphone that says EMERGENCY CONTACT. Great idea!

It's a lot to think about, and not a pleasant topic, really, but something that we should think about.  Enough said.

By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.

standing outside the fire

Holy cow.  This weekend.  Unbelievable. So much happened.  Friday afternoon, Wendy and I met Carol and her kids at the theater to see Red Riding Hood.  In short, DO NOT waste one penny seeing this movie.  It's not even worth renting.  Not scary.  NOT at all like the previews would have you believe.  Do not bother.  I promise.  But, that's trivial and of non-import...

After a late night playing games until midnight with Stott and Wendy, Doug and I stayed up until 2AM watching the news reports on the tsunami and earthquake damages since he'd not seen any of it yet.  Lesson learned... never think, "Tomorrow, we'll sleep in." because you never know what's going to happen in the morning. 

On Saturday morning, we were just getting up when the phone rang.  Kelly was sobbing hysterically. She was crying so hard that I couldn't understand her and all I got out of the conversation was that "She's not breathing.  They can't get a heartbeat.  She's in the ambulance."  She soundedlike she was saying "Zaylee", which freaked me out.  Then, finally, I understood that she was saying "Sherrie", Kevin's mother.  Long story short...Sherrie had spent most of the evening with Kelly and Kevin at their home watching a movie, then took Zaylee back to her own home to tend while Kelly recouperates from her surgery.  Sherrie took an accidental overdose of medicines, went to bed and never woke up. Her husband went in to check on her when she'd slept in so late. The paramedics got a heartbeat and Sherrie lived another 3 hours at the hospital before she passed away.   

Doug and I went straight to the hospital to pick up Zaylee.  As much as I disapprove of Kelly's lifestyle and the choices that she and her husband make, I have to say that my heart just ached for Kevin and his family. Regardelss of our differences, no one should have to go through such heartache.  Kevin and I are cordial to each other, but it doesn't go much beyond that. I just wanted to, and did, wrap my arms around him.  I wished that I could take his pain away. The whole experience was surreal.  So so sad.  Although our lives are on completely different paths, we have always felt that Sherrie was a kind woman with a big heart.  

When we came home with Zaylee, the babes all asked about Sherrie and when we told them that she had passed away, Quayd immediately quoted, "The choices we make today determine our happiness tomorrow."  We talked about the situation with the kids and they understood without the details.  They worry about Kelly.  Justifiably.  Enough about that.

We've had Zaylee since Saturday morning and she's had a great time playing with the babes and Miki.  She'll spend most of the week with us or Liza and Buddy.  ZJ is just the little babysitter and can't get enough of her.  She's been a tremendous helper.

Liza and Buddy arrived home late last night from their cruise. When the ship finally docked, Liza called and told me that they had seen the news of Japan's catastrophe.  She said that they were not worried at all, but when announcements were made on the ship that they were safe and that there was no reason to be concerned, that all was well, she looked at Buddy and said, "My mom is FREAKING out right now."  Oh, she knows me so well!  I was never so happy to see them last night when they dropped by on their way home from the airport to pick up Oops.  It was after 11.  I teased them, since they both get back to real life at daybreak today, they made every minute of that spring break count!

Such an emotional weekend.  As we climbed into bed last night, I was so thankful for the gift that I feel our testimonies and faith bring to us at such times of grief and sorrow... not just for Kelly and Kevin and their family, but in watching all of the tragedy in Japan.  I thought about the importance of family and connections.  I was grateful for technology that is allowing people to find their loved ones across oceans and storms.  We do have much to be thankful for, even in the midst of so many calamities, regardless of their origin.  I felt blessed personally, in the midst of all the fires around us... live, learn, grow, be thankful.  Life is still good.  Enough said.

  Adversity introduces a man to himself.  

sunday afternoon

 
 
 

To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time, any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear weapons.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been!

 Previously posted in October 2006

Last Friday night, I took off for the night with Carol for a sleepover at Carol’s sister, Mary Anne’s home. The hostess of our sleepover was Jamie, Mary Anne’s daughter/Carol’s niece, who’s more like Carol’s sister, as they have kids the same ages. Jamie is always a great time and following in her mother’s footsteps, a marvelous hostess! We’ve enjoyed getting together over the past few years since Jamie moved to the valley. This whole sleepover was her idea and she invited her friends, which Carol and I had never met.

Before I say another word about what I want to write about tonight, I must say, Mary Anne would make Martha Stewart drool! She is the most amazing homemaker I’ve ever known in my lifetime. She’s remarkably talented, a great mother, grandmother, friend, teacher, decorator, entertainer, hostess... she’s simply my hero! Her home, in my opinion, was far beyond the Extreme Home that I spent so many hours in last week. When I returned home each day from the Extreme Home, I walked around my own and felt completely content with what I have. When I leave Mary Anne’s home, I come home and want to paint and move furniture and scrap wonderful photos and create! She’s truly inspirational! Better Homes and Gardens could use any inch of her home, her guest cottage or her yard for their magazine!

I digress. After our little tour Mary Anne's latest home creations since the last time I was there, we settled in and Jamie and her friends arrived. As they walked into the house, I leaned over to Carol and whispered, "Oh my heck. I’m the grandma!" I FELT SOOOOOO OLD! Age doesn’t bother me. It never has. I can remember my wonderful friend, Joanne DeCorso, who turned 33 when I was 19. I remember thinking that I’d never get that old. On my 33^rd birthday, I recalled that memory. Another very close friend from my past was Sarah Willmore, who turned 47 when I was 30. Sarah had married children and teens and I recall thinking, "Holy cow, she sure acts young for someone as old as she is!" And here I stood in Mary Anne’s wonderful kitchen, looking at these children as they walked into our slumber party. Suddenly, I thought, "I need to just hobble up to bed like all good grannies and let these young whippersnappers have some fun!" I knew that I had to work at the Extreme Home the next day for 12 hours and seriously thought it was the best thing to do!  But I didn't and I'm so glad that I didn't !  We partied till the wee hours of morning and I do believe that Carol and I were the last ones to sleep!

During dinner, I finally asked the inevitable question. "So, how old are you girls?" They were in their 20s and early 30s. Seven of us. Here I was, literally, old enough to be a few of their moms! When one said 27, I said, "I have a son, Dale, who’s 27." The girl said, "I went to school with Dale!" Then, I knew I was over the hill!

Our hot tub conversation, at midnight, was based on Jamie’s questions. My answers were "...well, that was before airport security... People didn’t have computers then... We didn’t have cellphones yet..." Things that were around since before these girls were born! The topics revolved around first kisses, first dates, pregnancies and babies. Carol, who’s 41, and I just grinned several times. BUT, we had a blast!

Age has never bothered me yet. I’ve looked forward to fifty. I’ve looked forward to grandparenting... though that was short-lived when I became a mom the second time around instead. Friday night, I didn’t let age get in the way. I told my sanguine stories as always. We laughed. We joked and teased. It was awesome.

At 48, conversations aren’t about childbirth or pregnancy. They are about hot flashes, grandkids, coloring your hair. Women my age lean in and whisper in a restaurant when we talk about s-e-x. We discuss aches and needing glasses to read the menu and sons-in-law, not mothers-in-law.

This night was an eye-opener for me. I think that it’s truly the first time that it hit me, "I’m growing up!" I’m older than Joanne was. I’m older than Sarah was. And the wonderful thing to me is that the friends that I have that are 60 and 70 look and act very young to me today! I’m not even sure how old Mary Anne is. She’s got a 35 year old daughter. No matter because... in my eyes, she’s 30 and has more energy than anyone I know! Another friend, Valoy, who’s husband has been retired for years, has kids my age and older... she’s very young in my eyes. There’s a lady in my LDS ward, Libbey, who’s almost 90 and she still works in a retail store. I wish I had her energy and enthusiasm for life! I hope to remain young in mind and body for a long, long time! Sitting in the hottub, laughing and teasing with these girls, half my age, talking about first kisses and first dates, although the details in my stories may have been a little more antiquated than theirs, we were all twenty-one and loving life! We’ve scheduled another sleepover for November! I guess that they didn’t think I was that old either! Enough said!

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.

book group fun

Oh my gosh!  What horrific news to wake up to.  This earthquake/tsunami is unbelievable.  So tragic to watch all of the newsclips.  When I saw the warnings on the Pacific Coast, they specifically mentioned the area that our son Dale lives in Northern California, so I called to wake him up and give him a heads up.  We've not talked since Christmas and it was short and sweet.  So, this morning, this mama is worrying about her daughter and son-in-law on a cruise and a son and granddaughter who live close enough to hear the ocean from his windows.  I can't imagine what the unfortunate in Japan are experiencing.  Lots of prayers being said today, for sure.

Book Group last night was so much fun.  There were 17 of us, including me.  We have a new couple attending... a man and his wife have joined our group. Yes, a man.  He's a teacher with April, one of the book group regulars.  I thought, "A man?"  But, he actually added quite a bit to the book discussion.  Very interesting.
The discussion was interesting and fun.  And lots of laughs!  This morning, the kids all three commented, "Mom!  You sure laughed a lot last night!"

Being that the book takes place in England, I served a little English Tea Party as treats.  Blueberry-Lemon Scones, Lemon Poppyseed mini-muffins and Orange Rolls.  Personally, I'm not a fan of scones.   To me, the southern girl, biscuits need sausage and gravy or Shrimp Scampi at Red Lobster!  However, these were pretty tasty. 

Here's the recipe for the scones.  They were pretty tasty for scones, but how could they not be with all that butter and cream?  Right?

 

Blueberry and Lemon Cream Scones

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 tablespoons sugar, divided in half

1/2 cup butter (1 stick)

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 cup whipping cream

2 eggs, beaten

3/4 cup fresh blueberries

zest of 1 lemon

juice of 1/2 of 1 lemon

In large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, 2 tablespoons sugar, and salt.  Mix well.  Cut in the butter.  (I shreded a cold stick of butter with a cheese grater.) Add cream, vanilla and eggs.  Stir just until mixed. Add berries, lemon zest and lemon juice, mix again just enough fold everything in. Pat into two 6 inch circles and cut into sixths, or hand shape individual half-dollar size lumps into triangles on baking sheet.  Brush each scone  with water and sprinkle with remaining sugar.  (Or if making the night before, roll dough into a cylindrical log inside of parchment paper and wrap in plastic.  Then slice about half inch circles.)  Bake scones on parchment lined half sheet pan for 14 minutes at 375 degrees. (I covered each scone generously with sugar on top of each scone!  I also baked them a few minutes longer until they started to turn a bit more golden.

Makes about 12 scones

  

And just because, here's a photo of the orange rolls, in which I posted the recipe a few weeks ago.  OH MY.  NUMMY!

 

 As for other news...

• It's the weekend!  HAPPINESS!  My weekend plans include seeing "Little Red Riding Hood" with Carol, game night with Stott and Wendy, getting the shutters up on the gallery window, welcoming home my sweet Liza and her sweetie, Buddy from their week long cruise!
• I'll also be adding the Whole Wheat pancake recipe to the cooking blog, thanks to April's reminder, later today.
• I'm seriously stressing over the fact that everyone we know who's filed their taxes, as late as two weeks after we did, has already received their return and ours still hasn't arrived.  So, no amused.  Oh, Patience, why aren't you mine?

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

 

 

good day, sunshine

• I happened to notice this little plum tree in the back yard yesterday.  It looks so ready for spring!  Today, it's supposed to be 30 degrees.  The sun is shining and it's absolutely breathtaking outside.  But.  Like this tree, today, I admit, I'm getting anxious for a healthy dose of spring.
• For some reason, this past few days, my incessant case of hives has decided to revisit.  For two years now, I've been free of this little complication that came as a result of the massive amounts of different meds I was given after my surgery.  It's been delightful to not have to worry about the issue after all of that scratching and itching for eight long months.  However, the past few days brought it all back.  Not fun.
  This has made me take a look at what's going on in my life and wonder what it was that was causing the problem.  Anyway around it, I don't like it!  Grrrr.  Oh the little joys in life that remind us to appreciate the good that we sometimes forget to count as a blessing!
• Today is ski day for ZJ. She is soooooo excited!  ZJ is definitely a daddy's girl.  This is a huge day for her.  A whole day with Dad... it's "the best day ever!"  She was up before me, boiling her own eggs for breakfast, to save time, I suppose.  I am going to steer clear of their fun and let them have the whole day together. ;)
• Today, for me, is book group.  I'll be baking and making goodies for tonight and getting ready for the evening.  I'm so excited to discuss "The Forgotten Garden", which has been bumped to my top three books ever list.  Seriously, intriguing, keeps you guessing, fun.   LOVED IT!  I would love to see this book made into a movie and I can see an entire list of actors/actresses as the characters already.  Have I mentioned that I loved it!?
• Just as an update, Kelly did go through with the surgery.  As of 10PM last night, she was in a lot of pain and quite shocked that it wasn't the breeze she was expecting.  I didn't see her yesterday but will drop in today to check on her while I'm out doing errands. 
• One last thing... I'm not Catholic. I'm LDS.  But, Lent began yesterday.  I had a best friend in High School who was Catholic and I learned about Lent and what a big thing it was for them,  I loved the whole concept.  Seriously, giving up something that you would ordinarily not live without, replace it with something good during that time.  Yesterday, not because of Lent, but because I needed the break, I decided to take a break from Facebook.  I closed that window and have decided not to open it for a while.  How long is Lent?  I just needed a little time being partially unplugged.  The timing happened to be right.

Another day with not much to say.  I'm too busy scratching.   Tomorrow, pix from my book group table and at least one recipe if it's as fabulous as it looks! Enough said.

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
 under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

intrigued

Oh my gosh, this book!  I LOVE IT!  I'm totally into it and can't think of anything except to finish it.  552 pages of sheer pleasure.  Well,  500 pages.  It took me the first fifty to get into it and now I can't stand to stop reading for one minute.   The forgotten Garden, by Kate Morton.  Less than a hundred pages to go.  Apparently, this is the second book and there is a third.   LOVE. IT! 

Here's the new word that I've captured in the book:

per·spi·ca·cious/ˌpərspiˈkāSHəs/ Adjective: Having a ready insight into and understanding of things.

Other than the book, the only thing on my mind this morning is Kelly.  She's having her surgery today.  Deep sigh.  Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.  The book is a welcomed escape today.  Enough said.

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. 

 

 

How to Tuesday...

I've been out having a merry good time all day long and came home to find that the blog had never been published.  I'd saved it as a draft.  Oops!  My bad!

A few ramblings...

• While reading the other day, a mention was made of hopscotch.  I asked Zeej if she played hopscotch at school (wondering if it was even something today's children have heard of).  She said,"You mean the one with the rock?  No, I'm more of a swing kind of a girl."  Okey dokey then, ZJ.  She's so dang cute.  I heart her.
• Liza and Buddy are leaving Cabo today.  They're enjoying their sixth anniversary a few weeks early on another cruise. I'm so happy that they get to play as much as they do.  I can't think of a better way to spend a spring break!
• I have finallygotten into this book, the Forgotten Garden.  It took starting it about six times but now I can't put it down.  LOV.ING. IT!  Gee, it's a good thing... book group is Thursday night, here.
• Watching the entertainment headlines this week... it's gotten old quickly.  I've never understood how some people who have so much good in their lives can be so self-destructive?  They are their own worst enemy.  Not just in Hollywood, but in real life too.  Sadness.
• Said certain child of mine is having previously mentioned "enhancement" surgery tomorrow.  I'm still praying that she changes her mind.  Any extra prayers in her behalf would be appreciated.  (Prayers that she changes her mind, as well as that it goes well because... well, we are talking about that child and I don't see her changing her mind to anything I ever ask her to. )

Now... How to Tuesday:

How to make the most of your grocery shopping experience:

• Always keep a list.  POsta list in a convenient spot in the home.  We use a magnetic white board and it stays on the fridge.  I keep a list for Sams' Club and Lee's Market.  Everyone knows to write things that we are out of as soon as we run out.
• Check the list before you go to the store.  Transfer it to your planner or a list.
• To save time, print up a master list/form so that you can just check off the items that you need in each section... Dairy, canned goods, paper, baking, produce, meats...   Leave a space for items not ordinarily used to write in as needed.
• To save time on menus that are repeated (like Thanksgiving dinner), make a menu and a shopping list.  Then before you go to the store, you can check off what you already have at home and buy the rest, as needed.
• Before you go to the store, remember to grab your list, checkbook or debit card, coupons.
• Shop in the mornings before the dinnertime crowd hits the store.
• Buy items on sale in bulk.  If Sugar is on sale, buy ten of them and put them in storage.  Then, you won't have to pay full price for them and can last till the next time they are on special.
• Shopping close to home and purchasing all items at the same store can, in the long run, be just as efficient and economical as running all over town to hit the sales.
• Buy in case lots.  Our local store will give case lot prices if you just ask.  If you don't A-S-K, you don't G-E-T.
• Leave the family at home!  Kids in the grocery store just add to your stress and to the shopping cart. 
• Eat before you shop.  If you go into the grocery store hungry, you'll spend much more than if you go in just after eating.
  

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.

austin

I'm off this morning with a mile long to do list. Short and sweet today.

Weekend highlights:

It was a crazy busy weekend and I loved every minute of it!  Dinner at Sabors, lots of cards and gameplaying, lots of movies, swimming for the kids, time with friends and family, a great Sabbath day and a great new movie.  I did manage to catch a few fifteen minute naps and we won't even discuss the food that was involved this weekend.

The Adjustment Bureau.  Holy Cow.  What a fun movie.  It was a little Meet Joe Black and a little Inception.   I went with friends and we had mixed feelings. I loved it because it wasn't so complicated that I needed Doug to explain to me what the heck was happening.  I loved the soundtrack/score.  I came home and checked on iTunes.  The music is by Thomas Newman, who did the score to Horse Whisperer, which is one of my favorite scores ever. Great music!  Friends were on the fence... liking it but not loving it.  It is not a kids movie for sure.  But, it's no chick flick. 

I read the obituaries every morning.  This morning, a memorial was written to a young man who'd been born with obvious birth defects and passed away at the age of 16.   The obituary read, " Austin never spoke a word, but taught great lessons about endurance and unconditional love. He was courageous and tough as he met life's challenges. The incredible spirit he brought into his family's lives will be missed every day."  I was so touched by this tribute.  To have never spoken a word and impact lives... that was was a gift.  It just touched me and reminded me to make every day count and in this case, to make every word count, as well.  Enough said.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

silent sunday

Have the courage to say no.
Have the courage to face the truth.
Do the right thing because it is right.
These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

You afford what you want to afford...

Previously published in Sept. 2006

I have a friend who’s lifestyle is a dream to most people. Financially, they have got it all. And yet this friend would never dare paint for a room because they might not like the color and then they’d have wasted that $50 for two gallons of paint. This friend has four brand new cars in the garage, wears nothing but designer labels, travels the world. But, this friend just doesn’t get that I would pay $27 (with my Best Buy rebate) for a Grey’s Anatomy DVD. It’s funny to me.

I believe that we afford what we want to afford. I look at several of our friends’ lifestyles and it never ceases to amaze me how differently we each spend our money and our priorities in life. I’m not judging in any way, just observing the differences in priorities. One friend has every channel and program available on their tv, another wouldn’t pay for television if they had to. I don’t get XM radio... paying for cable car radio when I could pop in a CD... not for me. (Sorry Liza, I know you love it!)

Even simple things. My sister-in-law, Barbie grows and preserves much of their food. It’s not a matter of money, it’s a matter of taste and quality. To another person, it would completely be a way of saving some money. It’s all about priorities. Another friend has a healthy income but would never pay tithes and offerings to their church. To me, that is money that wasn’t mine to begin with in the first place and I feel it a blessing to be able to pay it. It’s a matter of what matters to you.

Today, I answer my own blog challenge, with my list of my own "affordable" and no what I’d pay fors:

Things that I have no trouble spending money on:

• I’ll buy a DVD without a second thought... if we’re going to rent it more than three times, it’s worth it.
• Going to the movies is cheap and fun entertainment. (I’m a secret movie shopper, so that makes it even cheaper!)
• Scrapbooking tools... they are tools. For my job. Just as important as tools are to my mechanical technician husband.
• Going out to lunch. It’s my escape, it’s my social time and brings me loads of happiness. It’s cheaper than a shrink!
• Furniture. We don’t drive a new car. I don’t wear lots of designer labels. But, I could refurnish every room in the house annually if I had the money. I LOVE furniture stores more than scrapbook stores, Best Buy or Staples!
• Hotels... my idea of camping is at the Marriot!
• Electronics... need I say a word?!

Things that I just can’t see paying for:

• New cars (I wouldn’t mind so much, but Doug would never even if we were Donald Trump... depreciation is his pet peeve)
• Gambling. My family thinks I’m nuts but I just can not make myself buy a lottery ticket or throw it down the slots. We go to Mesquite/Vegas a few times a year to visit my mom and I gambled only once in 1989 and never since. I even won $75 that time. Took my winnings and walked away.
• I’d never own a boat or recreational vehicle unless it was something that would pay for itself over and over. If I want to use one, I’ll rent it and let someone else pay for the maintenance and again, depreciation.
• I am totally content with the basic cable package and will buy the movies I want to watch.
• I could never pay $400 for a handbag when I could get a knock-off for $40. (One of my favorite HGTV shows is Sensibly Chic.)

Gee, it’s much easier to think of what I could spend our hard-earned money on that what I can’t! ;)

 

 "If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy."

laughter...and shopping... is the best medicine!

Denise and I drove through a blizzard for about five miles in the canyon on our way down, but after that we had great weather.  We were driving along and talking about how over-protective Denise's husband is and how laid back Doug is...total opposites, but great friends.  I was thinking, "Here we are driving in this blizzard and Doug didn't even give it a second thought.  (Doug was raised in Idaho and weather is nevera deterrent in his mind.  Clint would die if he knew we were driving in this!  At that very moment, my cellphone rang.  It was Doug calling, "Babe, how's it going?  Are you okay?  How are the roads?"  We just laughed, He does worry!  

My jaws literally ached from laughing so hard all day over little things because either we are both losing our hearing or we just are straight losing it.  She'd hear me wrong, I'd hear her wrong... we were talking up a storm about the same thing but not at all.  Then we both laughed until we hurt remembering our biggest "miscommunication". 

Side story:  Denise and I were driving to Vegas to visit my mom.  (This was after the bigs and before the babes.) I saw a dome home in the middle of Nowhere, Utah and started talking about how much Doug loved them and had talked about having one for years.  All the way into St. George, which from where the conversation started was about four hours, the topic kept coming up, off and on.  Denise kept bringin it up asking questions and seemed to be in total disbelief that Doug really loved dome homes.  She kept asking the strangest comments..about making his own, how he's such a granola that that really surprises her...each time saying, "That's just hard to believe" and things like that.  FOR FOUR HOURS.  The whole time, I'm thinking "the only dome homes that I've ever been in were built by granolas.  Why is this so strange?"  Then, four hours later, she asked me something like "Does he like them with frosting or just plain?... something along those lines.  I was totally baffled and said, "Denise!?  WHAT are you talking about?"  She repeated her question and then asked me what I was talking about. I said, "Doug loves dome homes."  She rolled her eyes and said, "Sophia Lynn Corbridge! Doug is so health conscious, and all this time, I just couldn't believe all that you were saying. I thought you were talking about donuts! not dome homes."  Okay.  Maybe you had to be there but this is one of those typical Denise/Sophia conversations.   And they wonder we laugh so hard when we are together!  By the way, Doug doesn't really care for donuts.  But, he does love dome homes.

Anywaaaaaaay, I digress.  Our trip included stops at Taipan, Rodworks, Target, Red Lobster and the Secret Haven at the Rock Loft!  It doesn't get any better!  As always, I took my camera with me to Secret Haven and took some lovely photos of their spring displays.  This store, seriously, has to be the most amazingly well displayed store I've ever been in.  I do love it!  Here are some photos of their delicious displays.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Do these pix make you ready for spring or what?!

We were home in time for Denise to meet her daughter, who's expecting at the OB/GYN.  I dropped her off at the doctor's office and drove home in the worst blizzard for the last 4 miles.  I'd barely made it home when Denise called to tell me that Ashlee is seeing a surgeon in the morning to make sure that the baby will be okay through Ashlee having an appendectomy!  I'm on call this morning to be there for Denise.  She has not had a good year!

Late in the evening, some friends came over for a latenight American Idol, cards, pizza and some more serious laughs!  After such an emotionally tearful day on Wednesday, it was sooooooo great to laugh and enjoy!  Oh my heck, we laughed hard.   This morning, I asked Doug if our laughter had kept him awake last night.  He said, "Babe, it was music."  I love that man!

I've got a busy and fun weekend ahead and am excited for every minute of it!  Life is good!!

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

a smile and a lot of tears

First, a smile... Kelly's Puppy!

Today is one of those days that we all have something to look forward to... Denise and I are heading to the big city!  It's Donuts with Dad day at the elementary school for ZJ and Doug, so they'll be going to school early, sitting on the library floor to read and share donuts and juice.  Quayd and Doug are both taking the day off to go cross-country skiing together.  (Today is ski/snowboard fieldtrip day for the 7th graders and Quayd chose to go cross-country skiing with Doug instead.  ZJ will do the same next week.) Doug walked Gracie to her bus stop this morning, which was her big excitement (and it was exciting for her.  She's already had a ski date with dad this winter.)  Lots of fun in lots of different directions! 

Now... the tears.

Yesterday was a tearful and emotional day in our home.  Lots going on.  Among other things, ZJ came in from school in tears and begging me to help.  She'd found a bird on the way home from school with a broken wing and a broken leg.  She wanted a shoe box so that we could take it to the vet.  I explained that we couldn't take a little bird to the vet but that if it was still there, Dad would be home in an hour and he would help the bird.   She was pacified.  About that time, Wendy called and invited the kids over to play.  Off they all went and I was about to take a much needed nap, after having been awake most of the night! It was one of those days where the nap wasn't going to happen.

An hour later, Quayd came into the house just sobbing.  I asked, "What's happened?  Is it the bird?"  He was just heartbroken.  He said, "Mom, I killed the bird."  He then went on to tell me how he had stopped to help the bird, but the bird was just weakening.  He said that he prayed and prayed and even yelled, "Heavenly Father, PLEASE help this bird!"  Then he thought about Fancy, our shih tzu, who had to be put down 15 months ago. 

I knew what was coming.  He remembered how Fancy was suffering and how we had all prayed and decided that it was best if we had Fancy put down.  He remembered the stories that his dad has told him of living on the ranch and having to put down his favorite horse and his favorite dog.  So, he prayed, mustered up the strength and he tried to as painlessly as possible, "put the bird down".  He'd covered the bird with a large mound of snow and then a few minutes later, checked the bird and it was dead.  Oh my gosh.  I cried and cried as he told me his story.  I'm crying now as I type it.

I held him and was just in awe that my 13 year old son had the sensitivity to know that this little bird was suffering and needed to be put out of it's pain.  He'd done it on his own.  Apparently, shortly after, he was leaning in the snow, next to it, in tears, when friend Connie's son-in-law came homefrom work and noticed.  He got a bag for Quayd and told him that he could bring the bird home and bury it. 

Quayd and I hugged and cried together for a bit.  I told him that Dad would be home soon and they could bury it.  He said that he wanted to do it himself.   A few minutes later, he was outside digging a deep hole in the back of the garden (mud) and handled the whole matter on his own...in the most dignified manner I could imagine. 

I called Doug at work to let him know what was happening.  Thirty minutes later,  Doug came in from work, went straight to Quayd and gave him a hug.  His hello was, "Capt', I understand that you did some important work for Heavenly Father today."  We all lost it.  The tears just fell. 

A bit later, when the girls came in from the B's, the first thing that they asked was "where's the bird?" because they'd walked by to see that it was no longer on the street.  He told them simply that it had died and he had buried it. During prayer last night, he thanked Heavenly Father for the bird and that it had been able to help it.  I'd worried that this would be traumatizing for him.  But, he had grown from the experience and was moving forward.  It was an emotional experience for us all.  I'm proud of Quayd's sensitivity and tenderheart.  He's a great and special boy.  It was definitely a "mommy moment". 

I thought about it last night, as I went to bed.  All other emotions of the day paled in comparison to this experience.  And then. this thought came to my mind.  There are lots of times in life when it really is better to set something free than to hold on and keep it alive in misery and pain.  We need to recognize those times, then just let go, grow from the experience and move forward.  Enough said.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.
 You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."

late

I'm late blogging this morning.  I couldn't sleep last night because my dang brain wouldn't shut down, so I was awake at 4AM.  I planned three parties and decorated about a dozen tablescapes in my brain. But, sleep was not coming.  I hate it when that happens!  Anyway, I'm off my game this morning and have a lot on my plate, so I will keep it short and sweet today with a quick list and a picture of our nummy dinner last night... Whole wheat pancakes made with freshly milled wheat and blueberry syrup.  We did a repeat this morning!  Yummmm....  I'll post my pancake recipe on the cooking blog later today.

Ten emotions I'm feeling today:

1. Disappointment ~ Wendy and I were going to take Kelly to lunch today, but she couldn't take the time off so we have to put it off until next week.
2. Excitement ~ tomorrow, Denise and I get to spend the day together taking her son to the airport and playing!
3. Anticipation ~ the IRS is playing games with us on our tax refund this year.  The website date keeps changing.  I love tax refunds!
4. Off ~ Doug left something at home this morning, Grace left her backpack, I didn't notice either.  Now, I need to run them into him.  When I'm not on top of things, we all fall apart.... the joys of being General Manager of OUR Universe
5. Thankful ~ I have dear, dear friends who brighten my every day.
6. Anxious ~  Loving the book group book, now if I could just find time to finish it!
7. Wondering   ~ What to make for dinner for a family
8. Weary ~ I'll be taking a nap at some point today!
9. Confused ~ Don't even want to go there.
10. Blessed ~ Even with the rollercoaster, Life is GOOD!

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

How to Tuesday, a puppy, a table and a swing.

We had the most delightful afternoon with Kelly yesterday!  She called and told me that she had a surprise to show me.  She and Zaylee dropped in a few minutes later with this adorable little puppy.  I tended Zaylee with me for two hours, then Kelly got back in time for a round of Greedy and stayed for dinner. The babes came home from school and fell totally in love with the pup.  They offered to sell every electronic that they own to buy him from Kelly.  Gracie offered her $1000.  Where she thinks she'd get it, I have no idea.  Apparently, he was a surprise from Kevin earlier in the day.  He's got to be one of the cutest little pups I've ever seen... a Pomeranian.  No name yet, but ZJ suggested Mojo.  We'll see.  (And yes, that's ZJ's bare foot on the front step in the middle of winter!  She was told immediately to get her shoes on!  GRRR!  Wasn't it just me last week growling about the mother with the child outside without a coat on? )

 

While Zaylee and I had an hour alone, before the babes got home from school, she couldn't get enough of Grammie's bedroom swing!  Thanks, Grampie for rehanging it.  By the way, Zaylee's jacket is pink!  She told me several times.  She's learning her colors and there's no question that pink is her favorite!  Kelly said several times after dinner how much fun it was to be at home with us.  I cherish every good time with Kelly.  She may be our "wild child" but she's still my sweet girl...most of the time. ;)

 

It's March!  So, after everyone settled down for bed last night, I was able to take some photos of my March tablescape.  I'll share photos later today on the cooking blog.  This morning, I'm racing to the eye doctor and then lunch with Denise.  It is Tuesday, after all.

 
 

I'm often asked how I do this or that... everything from organizing to time management to parenting to crafting.  Not that I'm an expert about anything but I figure, if I'm learning, I may as well share it. Today, I'm going to attempt something new here on the blog.  It's a way that I can learn too.  I'll call it How To Tuesday.  On Tuesdays, I'm going to attempt to share a different How To each week.  It will be random things, depending what's on my brain and what I'm learning these days.  If I get desperate, may resort to things like "how to kill your favorite houseplant". We'll see how it goes.  If you have any suggestions, email me and I'll see what I can learn and share.

So, for today, How To Tuesday is How to Lose One Pound a Week.  Friend Susan in Ohio told me, in January, that this was one of her goals for the year.  I liked it.  So, I did some research on different ways to lose one pound a week, which would mean 52 pounds in a year if one were consistent. I've been attempting it for the past month and so far, so good...six pounds down.  However, last week, I purchased a giant canister of chocolate covered raisins at Sam's Club.  That could go on the list of How to GAIN a pound a day!  I digress... Here's some simple ways to do the trick. 

1. Stop drinking pop.  Drink water instead.  No diet sodas or anything carbonated.  Soda pop contains sodium which prevents weight loss.  Drink water!  8 glasses a day!  After about 6 weeks, the cravings for me subside.  I've not had a Diet Coke since Pearl Harbor Day!  That's almost three months!
2. Choose three high caloric/high fat/high carb items to remove completely from your diet and replace them with a healthier choice.  For me, it was no fries.  Period.  None.  Replace fries with a steamed veggie or rice or a baked potato... not a loaded baked potato.  20 years ago, a friend and I went to Wendy's for lunch.  She ordered a baked potato and put ketchup on it.  I thought it was sick and wrong.  She argued, "Why?  You put ketchup on your fries.  What's the difference?"  I tried it.  I like it.  It's not butter and cream cheese but it's not bad.  I've not eaten a fry for a month and I'm still alive.
3. Stop eating four hours before bedtime.  (I do allow myself fresh fruit after 7, if I get hungry when I stay up extra late, but no more bowls of cold cereal just before bedtime.  No more cookies or leftover dessert in the evenings.) 
4. Brush your teeth at the designated "kitchen's closed" hour and that is an incentive to not eat, as well.
5. Pass on cream-based foods.  Order tomato sauce instead of alfredo, veggie soup instead of chowders.
6. Take a 20 minute walk a day...it doesn't have to be a jog.  Just walk!
7. Eat 500 calories less per day.  Skip dessert.  
8. Eat 250 less calories per day and do something to burn 250 extra calories per day. 
9. Eat whole grains instead of white bread and other treats.
10. Eat yogurt instead of ice cream.
11. Eat at home or pack a lunch instead of eating out.  Everything you eat out is slathered in butter, whether you know it or not.  Why do you think everything tastes so much better out?
12. Fill up on good things like watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes, green salads so that you aren't craving the other stuff.  Drink lots of water during your meal.
13. Don't go hours between meals.  Have celery and carrot sticks, apple slices available to snack on.
14. Set limits on food that you can't live without.  If you need chips and salsa, then allow yourself a certain amount and be done. That way you are not feeling deprived, but you aren't over-indulging.
15. If you have no self-control on portions, don't buy it.  I will never buy another giant canister of chocolate covered raisins again!

Now, just because I've suggested these things doesn't mean that I'm an expert on them.  These are just things that I've read and by sharing them, hopefully, I'll motivate myself and someone else to try a little harder to be a little healthier. 

In other news:

• Doug stopped by the hospital on his way home from work and it sounds as though his mom will be going home today. 
• Gracie's Young Womens' team are playing in the Regional Basketball Tournaments.  She's never played basketball but is so excited about being a part of this team. 
• According to Paula Deen, it's National Pancake Day!  Sounds like a simple supper tonight!  YAY!
• Life is good!


 Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.