Sentiments by Sophia

A few good things....

Previously posted in October 2006

Money Rummy: A fun new card game!

Use two decks of cards for 5-6 players. Each player gets three pennies, marbles, whatever at the beginning of each round.

For the first four rounds, deal 2 cards more than needed:

Round 1: 2 sets of 3
Round 2: 1 run of 4 and 1 set of 3
Round 3: 2 runs of 4
Round 4: 3 sets of 3

Deal 12 for rounds 5, 6 & 7:

Round 5: 2 sets of 3 and 1 run of 4
Round 6: 2 runs of 4 and 1 set of 3
Round 7: 3 runs with no discard to go out. Use all cards. To win, draw and lay the three runs down on table for last turn with no discard..

To buy the last discarded card when it’s not your turn, pay one coin or marble and take the discarded card plus the top card off the deck. That does not change the playing order. The next player continues in order. You can only buy three times each round.

Scoring:

Jokers are wild and count as 20 points. Aces are 15 points. 10s and face cards are 10 points. Number cards are five points.

Once you have the met the task for each round, you may also play on other players cards that are down on the table. EX: If Tom is playing a run of 4,5,6,7 of hearts and uses a joker for the 5 of hearts and you happen to be holding the five of hearts in your hand, you can replace his joker with the real card and then use the joker as you would like. BUT, you must have your cards down on the table before that is an option.

When the first person discards his last card, the round ends. To score, whatever is remaining in the other players’ hands counts against them.

Low score wins the game!

A great new VERY simple recipe: Dorito Chicken

Dip thawed chicken tenders or boneless breasts in a plate of Ranch Dressing on both sides, getting it good and wet. Dip them into a bowl of crushed Doritos (any flavor). Put in a 9x13 pan. Sprinkle remaining chips on top of chicken. Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 45 minutes.

A great quote!

 

 

Who well lives, long lives; For this age of ours should not be numbered by years, days and hours.

 

ROYAL

From Kate Middleton to Princess Catherine.  She's lovely.  I stayed up, dozing in and out all night, to watch the Royal Wedding bright and early this morning.  Kate is truly a beautiful princess.  My girls could hardly wait to watch when they woke up.  A real life prince marrying a real life common girl, just like in the fairy tales.  Every little girl loves that story.  Delightful. 

Our venture to Salt Lake City yesterday could be described in one word. Pain.  I have never seen anything like what the doctor did to Kelly. I'll spare the details but suffice it to say that there were lots of tears and I would call it torture, not treatment.  But, it was necessary and what the doctor did was helpful.  By last night, Kelly could lift her arm above her head for the first time in six weeks.  We'll have to go back down next week for a repeat and then, hopefully, all will be well so that Kelly can get back to her normal life.  In spite of all of the pain, Kelly and I enjoyed the time together.  She couldn't say thank you enough.  I heart Kelly.

Doug and Quayd are camping tonight with the scouts.  It's supposed to be raining then snowing and cold. This is one of those times when, if a mom were calling the shots, it would be cancelled until better weather!  brrrrrrrrrs!  Quayd is so excited. Doug... well, let's just say that he may sleep in his van. ;)  Boys will be boys...

In the midst of all of the royal celebration, Mother Nature has reaked havoc in our southern states.  Many prayers and good thoughts are offered in the direction of those who are suffering so in Alabama and the surrounding areas.

Happy Royal Weekend!  Ours looks to be pretty tame.  Wet, but tame.  And tame is just fine with me.

A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.

mommy moments

I am off to Salt Lake City with Kelly this morning.  She'll be having a third surgery (outpatient) today.  I'm praying that it will be the last of this issue.  From what I understand about today's procedure, I have a feeling it's going to be painful.  I hate watching my children suffer or hurt in anyway...physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Watching your children suffer is the hardest part of parenting, no doubt.  Whenever I see my own children suffer, I can only imagine what it's like to be Heavenly Father watching us all.  Humbling.  Enough said about that.

While being a mom isn't always the easiest job in the world,  there are also those joyful moments that make every "not so pleasant" task or challenge worth it!  I had a few of those yesterday...

Kelly is nervous about today and in so much pain.  She was most gracious about my taking her down for this procedure today.  Kelly has a side that is still my little girl who needs her mom's love and TLC.  I love that softer side of her and always love helping her when she's showing it.  My favorite thing that Kelly ever does, still, is sit next to me while we talk, lean her head on my lap and just be the little girl that I remember.  It doesn't happen enough, but when it does, I cherish the moment.  Today, will be one of those days.

Liza and Buddy surprised me Sunday with an early Mother's Day gift ~ the sweetest pictures of Zaylee, taken by Buddy's mom.  (Liza said that she couldn't wait until Mother's Day to give them to me.)  I was tickled with them all but here are my two favorites!  I've been waiting for the CD to download them and she brought the disc by last night!  Zaylee is just too cute!  Not that I'm biased. 

Doug brought Zaylee here last night so that Liza could come to pick her up.  They'll keep her while we are gone today.  Zaylee was on one.  Not a good one.  She was in one of those "independent" moods.  She'd not wanted to hug Kelly goodbye or Doug hello.  After a while, Doug took her outside in the dark and pointed out the stars in the sky.  Then, she came running into the gallery and said, "Gwammie, come see stars in sky!"  We went out onto the front porch and counted the stars until an airplane flew into sight and then we watched the "red-green" lights on it.  After the plane, she couldn't wait until the next one flew over.  When Liza arrived to pick her up, she gave loves goodbye and said, "Luvvaluvvaluvva you" to both Doug and I.  All was well.

This morning, Gracie had a shirt that was handed down to her from Carol's daughter.  It was the first time she'd worn it and it was a bit big.  I said, "Gracie, that shirt's darling, but it might be immodest when you bend over. Maybe you should wear another shirt under it."  She said, "Okay!" and raced back downstairs.  Doug and I looked at each other, smiled and commented on how we'd had the first half of that scene many times when a certain oldest daughter was this age.  I don't even want to go there!  How grateful we are for Gracie's great attitude!  When she came back upstairs, I thanked her for being so willing to change."  She said, "Thank you for telling me that it was immodest."  WOW!!

Yesterday afternoon, ZJ and I were making dinner together, just talking up a storm.  ZJ randomly said, "What would I do without you, Mom?"  I teased and said, "You wouldn't have to clean your room."  Her response surprised me.  She walked to the entryway where I have a cross-stitch hanging, based on this scripture:  " Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."  ZJ read it then came back into the kitchen and said,  "That's true, Mom, but if you weren't here, we wouldn't have a House of order and faith and prayer and learning."  

Times like these... Parenting doesn't get any better.  Enough said.

 Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.

it's just another day

a few very quick thoughts:

• I'm off, bright and early this morning for a root canal.  I'll be wearing my iPod, cranking it up loud (s0 as not to hear a thing) to go along with the happy gas (so as not to feel a thing)!  Lovely.
• Here's another photo of my favorite Son-in-Law, Buddy.  I'm trying really hard to make up for not posting his picture on his birthday here on the blog, can you tell?  (Although, I'll never live it down anyway!)  I wish this one were in focus more because it's a great shot, but I was laughing too hard at him when I took the picture. 
• I got to visit with my granddaughter, Willow,4,  on the phone for a few minutes last night.  She sang the ABC song for me.  I loved it!  She has the sweetest little personality. 
• Have I mentioned eight dentist visits in the past two weeks for our family.  YIKES.
• Tomorrow, I'm taking Kelly to SLC for a doctor's appointment.  The surgeon is still trying to correct the problems with the tendon that he stitched while doing her surgery.  I did do some checking and hear that he is a reputable and good doctor.  This has just not been the best experience of Kelly's life.  Doctor, Doctor, Gimme some GOOD news!
• ZJ had a tablescape all set last night when I got home. She had wrapped gifts and put them in layers on the table and then added her little Precious Moments figurines on top of them.  The gifts were empty boxes.  It was no one birthday.  She "just felt like doing it".  :D
• It's 22 degrees outside with an 80% chance of snow tomorrow.  Happy Spring, Cache Valley!
• My life this week is consumed with parent teacher conferences, visits to the dentist and the doctor.  You'd think I was a mom or something.  

Life is gooooood!  Just because I'm in the mood and have two more minutes to blog before I go, here's ten things that I'm celebrating in life right now:

my continually growing testimony of Jesus Christ
sitting at our dinner table with family for good food and visits and to play fun games
long lunches with girlfriends in the afternoons
reading in bed on my Kindle and the fact that it doesn't even bother Doug's sleep
listening to great music on my Bose dock (everything sounds better on it!)
having a company clean house that we can still live in and enjoy
the anticipation of lovely flowers and cherry tomatoes
"gentle falling snow, yes, even in late April
Miki drops everything and comes running when she sees her Grammie
walking in sunshine!

There are exactly as many special occasions in life
as we choose to celebrate. 

How to Tuesday... time well spent.

First, three notes:

1. Buddy teased me this past weekend about not putting his photo on the blog on his birthday, which was a Sunday and I posted a picture of the girls instead.  So not much blog attention to his birthday. I immediately grabbed my camera.  He teased, "No, it's too late now."  I took a few shots anyway.  Here's Buddy looking away, making a face and not letting me take his picture for the blog.  And Buddy, Happy birthday again, a week and a half later. We love you. You're my favorite!  Note to self:  Try to right every wrong.

2. Yesterday,  Denise and I met for 20 minutes to grab a sandwich.  The girl making our pitas didn't add my cheese.  When I asked her to add some, she, literally, slammed my sandwich down and gave me the crustiest glare.  Hey, I didn't leave off the cheese!  Later in the day, a brand new product purchased from Overstock.com. broke. I called to ask about a replacement.  They went out of their way to make sure that I was a 100% satisfied customer.  WOW! I'm ubber impressed!  I'll give them my business again very soon. Note to self: Being nice makes a difference.
   
3. It was ZJ's turn for dental work yesterday.  Two sealants and one filling.  No shot.  Amazing. I love  Brett Skinner, our dentist.  Tomorrow, I am scheduled for a possible root canal and/or a crown.  I get to have happy gas and it will be the best nap I take all year.  Note to self: There's something positive in every "growth experience", as Doug's Aunt Agnes called them.

A few days after I got home from visiting Dad in North Carolina, I had to run some errands.  I was feeling so great about life in general.  I got into my truck and decided that I needed to just express gratitude for as many blessings I could name in the alone time that I had on the road. I turned off my cellphone, got into the drivers seat and began talking out loud in a prayer of gratitude... for everything I could think of.  Literally. 

I started with the obvious big things like family, friends, faith, home, health, for living in this beautiful valley and Doug's patience with me.  By the time I'd driven five miles or so, I was past the normal every day things and really started thinking. I expressed gratitude for things I might have actually taken for granted at times or just come to accept as the norm...the fact that Doug's old van had run on faith and a prayer for so long, for favorite shoes that my extremely flat feet couldn't live without, for things that made the little challenges in my life, such as deteriorating vision, and things that make living with the challenge easier...such as large font options on electronics.  That may sound silly, but trust me, it is a blessing that I appreciate every day.  By the time I'd driven for 30 minutes, I was really focused and expressing deep, deep appreciation for some personal things in my life that really really matter, which I'll not share publicly today.  This exercise was one that can immediately change your outlook on life! It is a great activity that I highly recommend!

That morning, I received a gift by expressing my own gratitude.  It was the best hour I'd spent alone in a very long time. My crazy schedule with a husband, the bigs, the babes, the church, friends and family keeps me running every day.  I can't imagine life without a huge to-do list every day.  But, my busyness involves so much fun!  I thought yesterday about How To Tuesday and decided that I'd share how to have some productive fun in your "spare time".  My first suggestion... make that hour to spend expressing gratitude for everything you can think of.  Take advantage of an hour that you're alone. If you aren't comfortable expressing it in prayer, take the time to write it down, in detail, in a journal.  It's one of the most productive activities I can think of!

After that, here's fifty other random productive things to do in your spare time that you will look back on and consider "time well spent":

1. Make a denim quilt out of your old Levis.
2. Work on a scrapbook.
3. Take a walk.
4. Attend a High School Musical.
5. Decorate some cupcakes.  Share them with someone.
6. Read to children at the Elementary School.
7. Wash your windows. (or just one.)
8. Learn to crochet.
9. Call someone just to say hello and catch up on their life.  Listen.
10. Repot your houseplants.
11. Visit a nursing home. 
12. Inventory your home valuables.
13. Fly a kite with a child.
14. Go to the library.
15. Clean your oven.
16. Practice your handwriting.  Doodle a whole page of quotes.  Frame it!
17. Plant an herb garden.
18. Sketch your next outdoor garden.
19. Wrap any gifts you have purchased in advance now.
20. Practice an old forgotten or rarely used talent or skill.
21. Make homemade ice cream.
22. Get your eyebrows shaped.
23. Visit a museum.
24. Invite a friend over to play a game together for an hour in the morning.  Have treats.
25. Try something new with your curling iron.
26. Organize your ribbons or buttons or earrings or cooking gadgets.
27. Play ball with a child.
28. Dejunk your coupons.
29. Research a famous historical person who's made a difference in the world.
30. Plan a neighborhood get-together.
31. Go for a drive (or walk) all by your lonesome and look for things you've never noticed before.
32. Exercise. Walk.  Swim.  Hike.
33. Visit the taping of a local television show.
34. Clean out your refrigerator.
35. Read a book in the sunshine.
36. Create your own recipe using chocolate or a fruit.
37. Write a will, including your little treasures, who and why you want each individual to have them.  (I promise, you'll feel gratitude for friends and family like you never imagined.)
38. Read and study about a place you'd love to visit in your lifetime.
39. Play jacks with your best friend... yes, on the floor, like when you were a child.
40. Go to a local store and find a random act of kindness to do for five strangers.
41. Cook something you've never tried cooking or eating before.
42. Work on your genealogy and family history.
43. Alphabetize your spices.
44. Write a thank you note.
45. Go to a local bookstore, choose a topic and look through all of the books in that area.
46. Go mini-golfing.
47. Hose down the outside of your entire home.
48. Clean and organize your purse.
49. Plan a dinner party.  Make favors for it.
50. Make a lovely dinner for your family for no occasion at all.

Enjoy!

Count the minutes by sensation, and not by calendars,
and each moment is a day. 

this weekend gets a TEN!

Honestly, we had the best Easter weekend we've ever had.   I seriously can't think of any Easter that I enjoyed more!

Friday:  Aside from Doug's mom's birthday lunch, I spent much of the day studying my lesson and then took a break after the family was fed and went out for a quick bite and fun gab session with Connie.  We didn't even have date night because Stott's niece was visiting from Texas.  Doug was exhausted from a long restless week, so my little getaway for 2 hours with Connie and then a casual rest of the evening for us all.  The babes didn't  stay at Mom's for their Friday night sleepover because we wanted everyone to get a good nights sleep and be ready to head to SLC early Saturday morning.  Loved it!  It was just what the doctor ordered!

Saturday:  We attended the funeral of Doug's Aunt Agnes. What an incredible experience.  Keeping in mind that I absolutely live and breathe for every experience possible with any of Doug's extended family, how could it have been anything else?  Aunt Agnes was 94 years old.  She lived a marvelous life filled with raising four remarkable children, serving in the church, teaching and traveling the world and in a marriage that was made in heaven.  She passed peacefully in her home last week, eight years after Uncle Ivan had passed away.  Aside from the fact that we will all miss her deeply, we could only celebrate her passing and reunion on the other side with her beloved husband and those others who've gone on ahead of her.  And so, this was not a sad funeral.  It was a glorious celebration of a life well-lived by a woman of amazing dignity and grace.   The funeral service, I sit shaking my head as I type, were just remarkable.  The Spirit that was felt in this service was tremendous.   Words can not express my gratitude for being a part of Doug's amazing family!

 
Easter Sunday: The day was just perfect.  Perfect weather, perfect company, perfect meal, perfect feelings among everyone.  It was just a wonderful day.  My Relief Society lesson went well.  I'm always humbled by the comments made after I teach and am grateful for this gift that Heavenly Father has blessed me with.  

I have to mention that I was most excited to hear a report from Doug after visiting with his cousin, Janet, who also teaches Relief Society in her LDS ward.  He told me that Janet had mentioned that she studied all  month long for her lesson.  Doug was impressed and surprised to discover that I'm not alone in the demands that I put on myself to study for hours, every day, all month long for the 40 minute lesson that I'll teach at the end of each month.  He teases me all the time that I could teach the lesson on the second day of study and preparation, but  I would never feel comfortable with just that.  This is the reason that I love teaching the principles of the gospel to the sisters in our ward... I am the one that benefits the most from all of the study in preparation!  A selfish confession, I admit!

I'd had mixed feelings about having Testimony Meeting on Easter Sunday because it felt like Easter take a backseat, but I was so wrong.  A wonderful meeting, that I can't remember any even coming close in comparison.  No thankfulmonies, no travelogues.  Just tender, sweet feelings of our Savior, His exemplary life lived in our behalf.  I couldn't help but weep and when we came home, I gathered the babes and expressed my own feelings and testimony to them. It's so important to let your kids know why you live the way you do and make the choices you do!  Enough said about that!

We are "different" about Easter.  This is not an LDS thing... this is a Doug and Sophia thing.  We've always played down the whole Easter Bunny thing.  After church, ZJ was telling me about a few of her friends and their Easter Basket hunts. We do give a family Easter Basket, filled with treats and usually books or a movie.  (This year, the new Harry Potter DVD.) We also hunt eggs in the yard, without the Easter Bunny hoopla.  I asked ZJ if she felt sad that we don't do all of the fuss over Easter.  She, in her ten-year old wisdom, answered, "Mom.  Easter is not about a bunny or treats or presents.  Easter is about Jesus Christ and that is why we celebrate it - not for baskets."  A definite proud mommy moment!

After a week of discussing whether to have our family gathering at our house or the B's, and since I'd had such a busy weekend, I happily accepted Wendy's offer to have the family gathering at their home, so that I could focus on my lesson until after church. Again, I felt overwhelmed with joy all afternoon.  Liza and Buddy, Kelly and Zaylee, my mom, Connie, the B's and the five of us were all gathered together for the best meal since Thanksgiving and an afternoon of fun and games. 

Seriously, the meal was a feast  ~ roasted turkey (Doug's best ever, we all agreed), Wendy's baked ham,funeral potatoes and homemade stuffing (oh my!), my gravy, deviled eggs, homemade rolls and spinach strawberry poppyseed salad, Connie's to-die for chocolate cakes (both of them!) Liza made yummy pretzel salad.  She'll now be getting that assignment at Christmas too! Mom brought pies.  The perfect meal! Check my cooking blog for the recipes to everything! 

After dinner, we played games, had the egg hunt, enjoyed watching the kids all playing together and just gabbed until 9:15.  I did not want the day to end!  It was so great to have everyone there.  I thought about it and only Dale, Willow and my Dad were not there.  As I was cooking, I thought about Dad's cancer treatments and imagined what it would be like to have him well enough to join us for a big family affair such as this.  I love family times! It truly was the perfect day! 

Here's some shots from our little hunt:

Buddy was helping with the egg hiding.  Just for the record... Buddy is my most favorite, wonderful and awesome son-in-law, who I did not say enough about his birthday last week, so he gets first shot!  I love you Buddy!  AND your twin-sister, Cami! 

 
Stott hiding eggs and laughing, as always!

 

My favorite man in the whole wide world!  Doug is not who you want to have hiding Easter Eggs.  He hides them in places that they will never be found... and is quite proud of it, too, I must add.

 

Kayson, Stott and Wendy's oldest son.  He's outgrown the hunting and now gets to hid the eggs with "the men".  He also won our seriously played card game last night! Go, Kayson!

 

Miki didn't look for eggs, she just kept us entertained with her little chatty babytalk.  Have I mentioned how much I love being a grammie?

 

Zaylee took this egg hunging seriously.  She couldn't be bothered to do anything like smile for the camera because she had "work" to do!   She actually ended up finding the most, with all the big kids help.  Next year, she'll have to share the fun with Miki!

 

Grampie was showing Zaylee that some eggs had quarters in them too!  She wasn't too impressed by quarters or even jellybeans.  Zaylee prefers chocolate.

 

I was so busy following the babies that I didn't get too many shots of the babes!  Grace was checking out the action across the lawn.

 

ZJ and Alyssa were taking inventory of their stash.

 

Quayd found the highest hidden egg, tossed his whole bag of eggs into the tree to knock it down and scored!

 

It was so fun to have Kelly with us for a family affair!

 

Since I didn't get Liza in one shot, here's another of Buddy to make up for it. 

 

And my most favorite shot of the day... Miki is just too dang cute!

 

I express my gratitude for my family often on the blog, to each family member, to friends and to Heavenly Father every single day.  But, there was something about this entire weekend that separated it from just any weekend or time with family.  It was unique and special, positive and uplifting.  I am blessed.  Enough said!

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.
  It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

He is Risen!

All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

 

 Don't put all your eggs in one basket. 

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans.

Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey..

May the joy of the season fill your heart.

 

Happy Easter!

two little sisters and some Friday musing

Yesterday was a happy day for this mom! Favorite niece Brooke sent me a few links to the photographs she took of the girls last week and the video to her awesome online photography class.  I had not checked her website in a while and loved the intro to her website.  If you've got a few minutes, it's worth taking the time to "meet" Brooke, the niece that I carry on so about all of the time.  She plays piano in the intro and, honestly, there's no music that I love more.  She's amazing. Below are a few of my favorites of the pix.  I posted a gazillion on Facebook yesterday, but couldn't wait to share them here today.

Liza and Buddy dropped by last night at about 8:30 for a bowl of minestrone soup and cornbread.  (They'd both worked late.)  Liza came into the gallery to see the girls photos and noticed the lamp on my desk (the one that was purchased in January when I redecorated.)  She said it seemed different.  I thought about it for a sec and noted that I had changed the lightbulb (which did brighten it completley.)  Doug walked into the conversation to hear only, "I changed a lightbulb."  He immediately responded with a high five and "Good job!" as if it were the first and only bulb I'd ever changed! I resemble that comment!  I've changed at least two others in my life! ;)  Oh how I love having a husband that takes such good care of me... and that is such a tease!

Liza called yesterday morning just laughing.  She said that she'd had a dream that we were already on our trip to North Carolina.  (We spent some time last night checking flights and can't wait!)  She said that in the dream, we were eating hushpuppies and I found a bandaid inside mine.  I took out the bandaid and said, "It's okay, it's still good!" and ate it anyway.  She said out loud, "Mom sure loves her hushpuppies!"  I love that she dreamed about the trip because it tells me that she's really as excited as I am about going back to see Dad and meet her cousins!  Can't wait for September!

Yesterday, we had quite the surprise storm that blew in...microburst winds, thunder, lightning, rain, hail.  Awesome storm!  But.  It did quite a bit of damage across the state.   Definitely, a soup day!  Today, the sun is shining and there's not a cloud in the sky.  Lovely!

This morning, I won two tickets to see the 70s band "America" on the radio.  When I called Doug to tell him, he said, "Congratulations, I think?"  The free concert will cost a night in a hotel in Wendover Nevada.  (We hate casinos!) two meals eating out and a tank of gas.  Lucky!  ;)  We have always been big America fans though.  Hmmm.  We'll see.

This weekend, we'll be attending the funeral of Doug's Aunt Agnes.  She is the wife of his oldest Uncle Ivan.  Her son is Elder L. E. Corbridge of the First Quorum of the Seventy in the LDS Church.  Aunt Agnes was such a lovely woman, tall and thin and always so graceful.  She was always full of encouraging words and an exemplary wife and mother.  She lived well into her 90s and was still completely living independent.  What a gift!  This weekend, we'll gather together as family to celebrate her life and shining example.  I'm anxious to learn things that I never got to know about Aunt Agnes.  Doug and I love every opportunity to spend time with his extended family.  Aunt Agnes will be greatly missed.

Also on the agenda... Doug's mom's birthday today, a family gathering with our children and the B's for Easter, teaching my Relief Society lesson and date night.  At some point and time, we may color eggs and have a hunt.  We aren't big "Easter Bunny" players.  We do baskets but they are from Doug and I, not the Mr. Bunny.  We do celebrate the reason for this season, the atonement and resurrection of Christ, with much joy and gratitude! 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 Joy is not in things; it is in us.

three Rs

Soapbox time again:

Last night, we were watching Survivor. Phillip, this season's crazy guy who says that he was a former CIA agent), got upset because the other team,which he's been treating like dirt for days now, wouldn't share their rice container (not the rice, mind you, but the container.)  He went off!  Then, white guy Steve called him crazy.  Phillip, who's black, got all kinds of cranky and said that what Steve "really" meant by crazy was - "the N word".  Holy cow!

The entire group were all stunned by the way he went off.  NOTHING had been said about race and from the looks of it, nothing had even been thought along those lines. I think that all of America watched in disbelief as this man went ballistic throwing his little crazy tantrum over something that he'd conjured up in his head.  It was hard to watch.  I've been totally entertained by the "weirdness" of this guy, who we refer to as "Pink Panty Phil", since Day One of this season of Survivor.  (It happens to be my favorite season ever.)  BUT.  This wasn't funny, it wasn't entertaining, it was plain offensive.  He was the only one there with a problem! 

I once knew a father and son, who had been at battle for years.  In his later years, the father wrote the son a letter 20 years ago apologizing for all of his wrongs.  In the letter, the father accepted responsibility for his wrong-doings and acknowledged that he knew that he would have to pay the price for his own actions at some point in his lifetime.  The words he used were "what goes around, comes around".  The son read the letter and immediately was on the defense, reading "between the lines" that the father was threatening him with "I'll get even with you for what you did to me."  From "I'm sorry" to "You'll be sorry".  I'd heard both sides of the story several times, as well as watched from a distance, the events that brought this situation to a head.  It was heart-wrenching to see these two men, so alike, lose such an important relationship because one was looking for a reason to be angry or take offense and so unforgiving.

Having raised six children, I've seen it in my own children.  We all do it at one time or another.  We take offense when none was intended.  My favorite Brigham Young quote, which I've repeated here many times is this: He who takes offense when offense was not intended is a fool, yet he who takes offense when offense is intended is an even greater fool for he has succumbed to the will of his adversary."

A while ago, I was hurt by a situation that just did not make sense to me.  It still doesn't.  My first reaction was to call the person on their actions and let them know that I wasn't stupid, but fully aware of what had actually happened. Others had confirmed the truth of the matter and encouraged me to because I would have been justified. I didn't act on that impulse and gave it time.   It would have been much easier to react and it was hard not to.  BUT.  In thinking about it, I'd have just been feeding the fire and made the situation worse. Instead, I kept quiet, I smiled through it (although I did shed a few tears on my own) and I'm still alive.    I've learned from the situation and at this point, I have no regrets in the matter.

This month, I've been studying and preparing for the lesson that I'll be teaching Sunday in Relief Society.  It's by Thomas S. Monson and is about the three Rs of Choice.  They are 1. The right to choose. 2.  The Responsibility to choose. and last, the Results of Choice.    For some reason, while watching that show last night,  I thought about the lesson.  We choose our actions, yes.  But, we also must deal with the consequences.  There's a great quote in the lesson:

No temptation, no pressure, no enticing can overcome us unless we allow such.  If we make the wrong choice, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

I love this quote. I tell the kiddos, "Make good choices" as they go out the door each time.  We quote "the choices we make today determine our happiness tomorrow" often.  I write about this at least once a month, but it's a mantra worth repeating.    We choose whether to take offense, we choose whether to act or to react.  We choose our own happiness and mood.  We can choose our choice, but we can't always choose the results of that choice.  We just get to deal with them.  I say it again, "Choose wisely."  Enough said.

 May we be filled with gratitude for the right of choice,
 accept the responsibility of choice and ever be concious of the results of choice.

the stuff that dreams are made of

How about How To Wednesday this week?  A few quick ramblings first:

• ZJ asked for grits for breakfast this morning!  Score!
• Carol's got baby chicks in her Kindergarten classroom.  One was born while we talked this morning.  I can't wait to take the kids over to see them.
• Yesterday, we saw Soul Surfer.  It's uplifting, inspiring, clean, wholesome entertainment for the family.  ZJ wants to find the book.  They loved it.  We'll buy the DVD, for sure.

Last weekend, on Friday night, Doug and I stayed up very late watching old clips of the 70s Saturday Night Life. On Saturday, we raced from activity to activity.  At one point, he stretched out in the Lazy-Boy for a nap, was just about asleep when the phone rang and I told him we had company on their way.  He barked, "I need a nap!"  I started laughing out loud so hard!  Doug doesn't bark.  Doug is gentle and kind.  But, he was tired.  He was not being rude, but it was just the way he said it and it was so out of character for him!  He never got the nap.

Then on Saturday night, I was tired because we'd been up so late the night before.  At 10:30, I was ready for bed.  Doug was working on a project at the computer.  I waited until midnight, kissed him goodnight and climbed into bed.  For the next hour and a half, I heard Doug on the computer.  He'd set a goal to complete the project and wasn't stopping until it was done.  (Remember, Doug is not a computer savvy, but he's learning.)  So.  For the next hour and a half, I heard Doug grunt and grown and "what the?" at the computer from our bedroom next door.  Finally, I fell asleep.  Mind you, I was getting a bit cranky because he was tired to begin with and I knew that he wasn't going to be alert in church.  (Don't ya hate it when your husband snores in Sacrament Meeting?)  ANYWAY.  Doug finally came to bed after the project was complete, his shower and his 20 minute flossing ritual at almost 2.

At 2:3o, the phone rang.  We were both dead to the world.  It rang.  And rang.  And finally we both realized that it was ringing.  We answer the phone in our bedroom about three times a year, so Doug was pushing unfamiliar buttons in the dark trying to answer it.  By now, I was wide awake and starting to panic because the only two middle of the night phone calls we've ever received were when our nephew David was killed in a car accident and when my Granddaddy died.  So, Doug gives up and hands me the phone to answer it.  I finally push the right button and it starts that scratchy nasty FAX machine sound.  Doug had sent a fax just after 1AM and this was the receipt call.  At 2:30 in the morning!!!  I was C-R-A-N-K-Y!  I barked! I had imagined all sorts of bad news during that nine rings!  Doug was so exhausted that he'd forgotten he'd even sent the text.  NOT. AMUSED.

Now, by Sunday afternoon, we were laughing at the fact that we were both so dang tired and that the scene the night before had to have been quite humorous to the dust mites in our room.  But, the point is, we needed more rest because neither of us were functioning on what little sleep we'd had.  I've laughed and teased Doug about his barking and the FAX all week.

And so... without further ado... here's my How To Tuesday, on Wednesday, because yesterday, I was too tired to think about it.  How to improve on your sleep, thus making yourself healthier, happier and less likely to bark or snap!

I've been reading about the importance of getting a good nights sleep.  Facts appear that getting 8 hours of sleep regularly helps you live longer and healthier.  It's not something that I've ever been able to do on a regular basis, but when I do, I am in heaven!  You'd think that I'd try to do it more often!  One study shows that getting one more hour of sleep a night can do more for a person's daily happiness than getting a $60,000 raise.  Another great benefit to getting sleep, according to some studies, is that it affects your mood.  A well rested person doesn't bark. ;)

1. Turn off the light!  Our eyes rest much better when we have total darkness.  Our rooms are lit up with LEDs everywhere... iPods and iPhones charging, laptops, routers, printers, TVs, battery chargers... all of those little things that have one or two little green dots make a difference.   Cover them, turn them off, Make the room as dark as possible!
2. Doug's number one rule for getting a good night's sleep... Do not have a TV or computer in the bedroom! Nothing further to say about that.
3. Go to bed when your tired.  Don't wait for the second wind.  If your body says it's tired at 9:30, go to bed at 9:30.  Listen to your body!!
4. Get ready for bed earlier.  Sometimes, we'll watch TV and be so exhausted that we can't get up and get ready for bed.  We stay there in front of the TV just because getting up to wash our face and do our teeth and nighttime routines just seems like work, so we sit "like a zombie" (Doug calls it) and just prolong our agony.  Just do it!  Get ready early, and when you're tired, it's not such a demanding task to "get ready for bed".
5. Before bedtime, don't do anything that requires deep thought.  Don't discuss or work on finances, work projects, anything that requires your brain to wake up.  Think relaxing thoughts.
6. Just do it. Never lie in bed and stay half awake because you have to "go potty" so bad that you can't relax.  If you're cold, force yourself to get up and get on a pair of socks or cover up with an extra blanket.  Don't miss out on sleep because you're uncomfortable.  Force yourself to get comfortable so that you can sleep better immediately! Oh, and if you have an important thought in the night, rather than fighting the fear of forgetting it, keep a pen and paper by your bedside.  Write it down and forget about it for the night.
7. Don't look at the clock!  Cover the clock.  People with insomnia sleep much better when they don't have a clock to keep checking all night long.  If you have no idea that you woke up four minutes ago, you won't increase the frustration level.  You don't know that it wasn't four hours ago.
8. Try to set a sleep schedule so that your body clock works better.  While I was in NC, my body woke up every morning at 7:55, which was 5:55 Mountain Standard time.  I tried to stay on that body clock's schedule so that I felt rested and had the energy to do all that I needed while there visiting Dad.  It worked.  I think that the time change took more of a toll a few days after I got home.  Don't throw your body out of whack (like Doug and I did last weekend) by killing it on the weekends and then trying to be regular during the week.
9. Decide whether your body needs white noise or not.  Doug hates any sound in the night.  I like white noise to diffuse the sounds of the furnace kicking off and on, the occasional growl from Go-Go or the kids coughing.  It complicates things when we both like the opposite, so I keep the headphones to my iPod under my pillow and let it run with Sleep sounds (ocean waves or thunderstorms) soft enough that I can hear them and Doug can't.
10. Don't eat late at night.  I've read over and over that it's healthiest to not eat for 3-4 hours before your bedtime... better for diet control and for getting a good night's sleep.
11. Don't watch things on TV before bedtime that will stimulate your senses.  I can't watch the latenight news, other than the weather.  Watching violence before bedtime gives me nightmares and makes my blood pressure go up because I get angry over senseless crimes.  We forward through the headlines and watch the weather then head to bed.
12. Once you're in bed, take a few deep breaths and imagine every muscle in your body relaxing starting from your toes and working all the way up to your head.
13. Let your mind take you to someplace relaxing. When we were younger and I couldn't sleep, Doug would talk softly and gently and take me places all over the world to help me unwind.  We'd go from the ranch in a hot air balloon one night to lyingon the beaches in Zijuatanejo the next night.  Today, when I can't sleep in the middle of the night, to keep my thoughts off of worries or trouble, I decorate homes and plan tablescapes until I fall asleep.
14. If you can't sleep, stop worrying about sleeping and focus on relaxing.  Soft music, visualization, prayer.  All of these can help you focus on relaxing rather than the frustration that keeps you awake.
15. Exercise is a great thing during the day to help you sleep better at night.  I'm sure that there are plenty more, but these are the things that have stuck in my mind as I've read about sleeping better this past year.

I'm one of the world's worst sleepers.  Anyone who knows me, knows that.  For years while I worked for the magazine, bedtime was 3-4 in the morning.  Wake-up was at 6.  As I get older, I am slowing down and my body needsat least 5-6 hours of sleep to function well.  So, I'm making a more concentrated effort to get more rest.  When I do, I'm ever so glad.  When I don't, I may be known to bark too.  Enough said about that.

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.

a title, a table, a window and some other stuff

Last night, Buddy's birthday dinner ended up not being a dinner made with TLC by me, but a double date at Chili's.  The babes were invited to go to an iceskating birthday party with some good friends for their Family Home Evening.  So, we made a very rare exception to our family home evening activities and dropped them off then, met Liza and Buddy at Chilis. (Still Family Night, just with a different part of the family.)  It was one of the best times I ever remember with Liza and Buddy.  Just a fun night, all around.

Doug, by text message, sold our old van while I was rearranging my living room, not giving a second thought to any of it.  Then, late last night, when Doug asked me to grab the title, I pulled out my "Big Black Book", where all of the important documents in our lives wait for my beckoning call, GASP!!!  No title!!!  Iwent through every single file in the file cabinet and took the Big Black book apart three times, then woke up early (on a morning that there's no school, so we could have all slept in) and never did find it.  

Doug was just sick this morning because he had told the guy that we had the title. I don't get how a person who tries to be so organized lose something so important.  I would never just lay down and not put away! Every important thing goes into the Black Book. Grrrr! I did find the title to another vehicle that we no longer own, so, I think that, possibly, I threw the wrong old title away.  Anyway, the guy came, I took a little off the price for his inconvenience (even though it was me, not him that stayed up late looking, but whatever).  All is well.

 
In the meantime, I ordered and have waited for.ev.er for the "Bay Window" curtain rod to arrive and when it came, it was flimsier than I'd hoped.  But.  For now, until I figure out Plan G, it's up and the curtains are hung.  It's a huge change and the tablescaped table is no longer in the bay window.  Different and it will take me some time to get used to a darker living room, but I like it.    

 

Today, with the kiddos out of school,we're going to see Soul Surfer. Carol saw it last week and she couldn't wait to see it again.  I will also squeeze in a dentist appointment before.  We'll make the most out of this day that I have a feeling I'll be yawning through.  Speaking of sleep (or lack of it), we've slept with the windows open for two nights!  HAPPINESS!!!

I've made some new connections with my North Carolina family on Facebook.  This morning, I received a request from my dad's cousin, who I remember as a little girl and had not seen her since Granddaddy's funeral in 1988.  So much fun to get to know my family again!   (By the way, after a few very rough days of cancer treatments, Dad was in good spirits yesterday!

Also, I didn't discover this, but, my cousin Debbie (on my mom's side) had found someone who had done the work and shared...yesterday,I was fascinated to find one line in our family history that went back into the late 1400s!  My ancestors moved from England to Connecticut to Pennsylvania then Kentucky and West Virginia through the generations!  So intriguing!  I'm hooked on genealogy! 

There's never a dull moment.  All the more reason to make every one of  them count!  Enough said!

The feet may learn the steps, but, only the spirit can dance!

Weekend update and some rambling...

Friday:  I snapped a few pix of the girls when they got home and can't wait to see Brooke's photos this week!  I love that my favorite niece Brooke loves to photograph my girls! They loved every minute of it!  After running the girls to school, I met Connie for lunch then raced back home for date night.

Stott and Wendy and Doug and I went to see "Hanna".  It's no thriller...more what I'd call it suspense. It's violent, it is suspenseful, but predictable and slow moving in the middle.  The story is dark and for me, very sad.  I've decided that I like happy endings and should stick with romantic comedies.  In my opinion, it's not worth spending big bucks on at the theater, unless you're in the mood for theater popcorn.  I liked the suspense of it all, but Saturday afternoon that I realized that the darkness of the movie that had me feeling kind of down.  I won't be adding Hanna to our home movie library. Carol saw it the next day and hated it for the same reasons.  Like I said, I think I should stick with happy movies! Enough said.

Saturday: It was our family's turn to help clean the church, Mom came over for a bit in the afternoon, I went shopping for a birthday gift for Buddy then Denise called to meet for a quick bite.  It  was one of those days when I was quite content to just stay at home and nest all day.

Sunday:  An excellent Relief Society lesson on tithes and offerings, Sunday School was great, as always.  Sacrament Meeting consisted of a most excellent arrangement of hymns on the piano, a youth speaker who spoke from the heart and taught us all and a new family in our ward spoke. Great meetings! We came home and prepared to go to Carol's for Doug's dutch oven dinner, Carol's delicious veggie casserole and apple pie and ice cream. I've got to get that recipe for the veggies! Definitely a quiet, non-eventful weekend. 

It rained most of the weekend.  Yesterday, our city passed out flyers through the wards in Smithfield to prepare/warn us of the anticipated flood dangers.  While Doug was out distributing the flyers, I sat down with the babes and we discussed how important it is to avoid the creek right now and talked about 72 hour emergency kits, which we will update ours for Family Home Evening.  We're under Flash Flood watch right now.  Our home is relatively safe, so no fears.  But, we have neighbors who are definitely in danger.

A few random thoughts this rainy Monday morning:

• Buddy's birthday was yesterday.  We didn't even get to talk with him, but did sing "Happy Birthday" on to his iPhone. Tonight, they'll come for dinner and we'll celebrate. 
• I did spend a lot of time this weekend working on Family History.  I've been excited to discover a new website called "FindaGrave.com".  I was stunned to type in my mother's parent's names and find actual photographs of the little family cemetery on the top of a West Virginia mountain that mom has told me about so many times.  Wow, the internet makes the world so much smaller.
• This week looks to be pretty quiet.  But, then again, it's only Monday morning!  No school tomorrow, a Relief Society social, Doug's mom's birthday lunch.
• I was not amused this weekend to find that Amazon has raised the prices of E-books to the point that some are cheaper in hardback at the big box stores.  They advertised that Kindle would lesson the cost of reading.  Now, that people have bought a gazillion of them, they raise the price.  There's just something wrong with that!
• It's tax day, the official one this year.  We closed and moved into our home thirteen years ago this past weekend.  So much water has gone under the bridge in this past thirteen years, it's hard to believe.  The biggest surprise ~ we're still here!  When we bought this home, we said that we'd "landed".  I believe we have!
• That's it today!  Happy Tax Day!  Happy Monday!

Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble.

Zeej and Gracie

 

A sister shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams. 

One kind word can warm three winter months.

Previously posted in March 2007

One of the first signs of spring in Northern Utah, or should I say in my neck of the woods, is when I see my neighbor, Tim, out in her yard with her gardening gloves and one of her cute little hats on. I know that within a few days, I’ll also see these little beauties popping up in her front yard. Yesterday, on my afternoon walk... Voila! Winter is almost history. We’ll probably still get a few snow flurries, but it’s all good. We got six inches of snow on June 2 two years ago. But, it won’t be long until we hear the sound of lawn mowers way to early in the morning! We even grilled hotdogs tonight for dinner! 

After dinner, we re-watched American Idol so that Doug could see it before the results. When Haley broke down at the positive comments made by Simon, just how close these young kids are to breaking down was so apparent. To put yourself out there in front of 30 million people for the soul purpose of being critiqued and judged, week after week, in hopes that you’ll not be forgotten ten minutes after it’s all over takes more courage than I think I could ever muster. (The next statement is an observation, not a spoiler.) I’m in absolute shock that Sanjaya has survived all that he has ... not because he was or wasn’t voted off but simply because he’s taken more flack than any Idol contestant that I can ever remember. He’s 17. He is inexperienced. I don’t care for his singing or his lack of stage presence, but, Simon was right when he said that he is brave! He’s smiled, week after week, song after song, bashing after bashing. I’d have left long before now. I don’t think I’d have what it takes to take that verbal lashing week after week - especially about something that is so personal and from the heart, such as the gift of singing that they’ve all been given.

The one thing that this has brought to mind, over and over, tonight, is that regardless of who we are or what we are doing in life, everyone needs to hear that kind word spoken directly to them! And so, tonight, these few questions become this week’s blog challenge:

• One of the kindest words ever spoken to you: A few weeks ago, Doug came into my scrapbook room, sat down and randomly said, "I think that a lot of people really consider me to be a lucky man." When I asked him why, he went on to say that it was because he was married to me. (I’ll spare the mushy details but it was really a tender moment and I felt very appreciated and loved.)
• The last kind word spoken to you: I’m speaking at a Relief Society Social next week and someone told me that they knew that I’d do a great job, no matter what I did or said because everything I do is above and beyond and always inspires people to do better.  (I wish!!)
• The last kind word you spoke to someone else: I told Gracie that I was so proud of how she works so hard on her homework. She’s very self-motivated, where homework is concerned.
• Someone who always makes you feel special because they always have a kind word to say: Cheryl Downs, a neighbor, who’s been a hero of mine for decades. She always makes everyone feel as though they are the best friend, greatest example, most wonderful person that she’s ever met.)
• Someone (don’t name them because they may secretly read your blog, but tell about them) who needs a kind word but probably hasn’t had one in a while: Another person I know who is sort of cynical and acts as though her face would crack if she were to smile.
• Someone you commit to speak a kind word to before the day is over: I’m going to drop a little card in the mail to another neighbor who does an outstanding job at whatever she does but I honestly think that it often goes unnoticed because she’s not a front and center, in the limelight kind of person.


Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.

friday musing

1. We've having lovely afternoons but waking up to crunchy snow!  It's gone by noon, but it's COLD!
2. Last night, I didn't make it to book group.  Doug had a stake meeting.  The girls needed me at home .  So, we watched American Idol.  (Remind me NOT to go to my Facebook page just before Idol.  That's two weeks in a row that I knew who went home because people posted spoilers.  Grrr.) Gracie asked me to curl her hair into a million curls.  Today, she and Zeej are helping  my amazing niece Brooke with a photoshoot.  All I can say is "YIPPIE SKIPPY! " when Brooke needs their "help"!  Her skill and talent with the camera are incredible, so I'l excited that soon, we'll have some fabulous new photos of the girls, taken by the best photographer I've yet to meet!  Woohooo!
3. Holy cow, this week has flown by.   It always seems that once the time changes, the days whiz by and we're into summer vacation before we know it.  Other than the holidays, it's the busiest time of the year.  Our weekend plans include date night, yard work, Buddy's birthday, a baby shower and some honey-do chores. 
4. When Dad and I visited yesterday, his treatment effects are starting to kick in.  He's tired, he's sick, he's not loving life today.  Yesterday, he wondered if it's all going to be worth it.  It's hard to see him hurting so and especially, when I can't be there to help him like I did my mother when she had cancer.  Continued prayers are appreciated.
5. Gracie spent three hours tearing her room apart, going through every inch of our home looking for the vest that she received as a Christmas gift.  To no avail.  How, exactly, do things disappear in a home that gets dejunked as often as this one does?  I don't get it.  Then, this morning, when during our morning chat, I mentioned it to Carol.  She said, "Um, I think that's at my house.  I'm off for a quick drive to pick it up so we can meet Brooke in time."  Nothing like a little added excitement to the morning!
6. Last night, ZJ did a table display of stuffed animals  in her room.  She has a tendency to want to share her enthusiasm about things just at bedtime.  She spent 30 minutes describing each of her animals and why they were dressed the way that they were.  I had to take a picture and share.  This girl is so right brained!
7. Someone has sent me a subscription to Real Simple Magazine.  No card, no note, just the magazine started coming a few months ago.  I thought it must have been a trial sample at first but it continues to come. To my "Real Simple friend", thank you.  I absolutely love it!  And so does Liza!  
8. This month's question page in Real Simple is "How do you snap out of a bad mood?"  I loved the question and the answers...from pounding a punching bag to donate to a charity, to vent to a friend for 20 minutes to watch Saturday Night Live. For me, I've thought about it...when I'm super cranky, I clean.  It's like purging my frustrations as I wipe away fingerprints and dejunk.  OR I walk.  There's seriously nothing like walking out the door feeling ready to explode and breathing in the fresh air, even when it's freezing outside!  Within a block, the endorphines that kick in usually have me looking at everything from a brighter perspective.  Love it!  Love Real Simple.  Love my secret friend!

 That's it, this morning!  No spell check.  No double check.  Sorry for the mistakes!  Have a wondermous weekend! 

For every minute you are angry,
you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

worth a try

Last night, Denise's pregnant daughter, Ashlee was in a car accident.  She was driving to pick up her kids from Denise's when a woman came straight at her on the road.  Ashlee had no other choice but to swerve to avoid being hit and she ended up crashing into a tree.   Thankfully, she's okay... sore, but okay.  Her car, not so much.  The woman who was driving right at her didn't have a clue.  She continued driving and doesn't even know what happened.  She went on so fast that Ashlee couldn't even get a license plate number to report her. Clueless.

About eleven years ago, we were driving home from a Youth Conference at Utah State University.  I was in the passenger front seat.  Liza was in the middle of the back seat.  The driver of our car was pulling out onto the highway when a car, flew through and changed lanes in the middle of the intersection.  ON THE HIGHWAY.  A large lumber delivery truck was behind us.  Our driver slammed the brakes to avoid being broadsided.  The truck behind us smashed the trunk into the back seat of our car.  The girls, including Liza, in the back seat were not injured.  I was seatbelted but twisted around talking to/facing the girls.  Being twisted in the seatbelt caused injuries to my pelvis, my kidney and my neck.  This earned my first ambulance ride and also I had permanent damage to my shoulder and neck.  (This is why I can't lift anything over my shoulders or push a vacuum today.)  Again, the driver of the car that changed lanes in a major intersection was clueless!  To this day, he has no idea that he changed my life forever by his poor choice.

I won't bother mentioning the details, but recently, a person's actions have made an impact on my life causing a paradigm shift that will forever be changed. I highly doubt that this person has any idea of the damage done to many people because of their actions.  They won't be hearing it from me. It's one of those times in life when I just "lower my expectations and move forward. Regardless...

I was thinking about how little selfish choices that we make every day impact so many other people and things in our lives.  I'm guessing that more often than not, do we even realize or give second thought to the fact that one little gesture or act on our part could hurt, hinder, deter or impact those around us.  I hope, for the most part, that we wouldn't do whatever it is, if we did realize it, making it ever so important to ...Think before you act.  Think about those involved (and sometimes not involved) and how your actions could affect them. 

Last summer,  I had a situation with someone very dear to me where I had caused them deep hurt and I had no clue.  As a matter of fact, when it came up, months later, I was shocked.  When reminded, only vaguely did I even remember the event.  I had inadvertently caused another pain. It was a good reminder to me that if we all were to give a little more thought and reason to our actions (intended and sometimes not), we could actually make the bumps in the road a little smoother for others. It's really worth a try.

Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.
Ezra Taft Benson

7

1. Two days of lovely spring weather!  The rain has come at night, the snow has been in the mountains.  Perfect!
2. Another crazy day today.  It's ten before I even get to the blog.  BUT, I've accomplished a whole task list already this morning.  Teacher Conference in a bit, game night tonight, seven errands to run between now and then, plus dinner, laundry and perhaps getting the house ready for company and making some hushpuppies for the girls.
3. The saddest thing I've ever seen... this sign went up across the street yesterday.  The pasture where my horse friends have lived and entertained me for 12 years now is listed for sale.  I highly doubt someone will purchase the land to put a horse on it.  Sadness.  On the flip side, a few new homes would mean a few new neighbors and friends. 
4. Holy cow!   I just realized that yesterday was How To Tuesday and I didn't how to anything!  
   I'm such a slacker!  Here's a quick how to make a nummy quick and easy dinner:  Using a rice cooker, add about two and a half cups of rice, some salt and enough water to just cover the rice.  Then, touch the top of the rice with your finger and add two digits of your finger more of water.  Our Japanese friend showed me how his grandmother always used the "two finger rule" for perfect rice.  As soon as the rice cooker switches over to warm, UNPLUG it!  Nummy!   Put about 4 tbsp. soy sauce, 4 Tbsp. of cornstarch, 1/2 cup of brown sugar and about four cups of water in a saucepan.  Stir and bring to a boil.  Add some chopped cooked chickenbreast.   Steam some fresh brocolli.  Serve a bowl full of rice, covered with the steamed broccoli and smother in the soy sauce with chicken.  Dinner!  Voila!  Off the top of my head, that's one of our favorite quick meals!
5. Our current bushes are budding.  I had strawberry shortcake for breakfast.  I've walked twice this week, so far.  It's feeling like spring may be coming... that is, the Utah spring, which means only about fifteen more snowstorms before we put the pool up on Labor Day and then wait until July 1st to start swimming!  Happiness!
6. Mom called to ask me what Doug thought of the cobbler she brought over.  We never had a chance to talk about it last night.  She asked what Doug said about a purchase we are making.  I never had a moment to ask.  She asked what we were planning on doing for something else.  We haven't had time to discuss it yet.  Hmmmm.   What did we talk about last night?  I thought about it.  In the few minutes that we had in passing, not much.  I think we need to go on a walk together tonight just to say hello!
7. With all the to do lists and the appointments here and there and running that's going on, you'd think that it's May already!   Life is busy, but good!  I may actually sit down long enough to write a real sentiment here in the next few days.

The most effective way to do it is to do it!

crazy, busy, expensive!

a busy day:  By 7:15 this morning, I'd already made the first of my four trips to Logan today.  Yesterday, I made three.  It's time for fifteen trips to the dentist until everyone's bi-annual work is done.   We were just informed that ZJ needs braces.  That's $4000 off the bat.   The joys of parenthood.   I guess I shouldn't complain.  Only three of the six kids needed them, right?  And we love our dentist!!!

a mission: Last night, Doug and I went out to test-drive a new vehicle for him.  His old van is on it's last leg. We'll be buying Used, of course, because we could win the lottery and Doug would never buy a brand new vehicle or have a car payment.  He's too much of a Dave Ramsey fan.  ""PAY CASH!"  I was raised that you get a brand new car every other year and having a car payment was part of life.  Another difference that makes us work so well together.  Live and learn. 

an activity: Last night, for Family Home Evening, we went for a walk in the beautiful weather and discussed things that we saw around us that reminded us of scriptures.  It was amazing, what the kids came up with.  A fence reminded Gracie of the Walls of Jericho coming down.  Quayd said that we were walking into the wilderness like the Lehi's family and like the people of Moses.  A thorny bush reminded us of the crown placed on the Savior's head before he was crucified.  It was really a fun activity.  Oh, and we had strawberry shortcake for dessert!  A taste of spring, even it the weather won't bring it!  Last night, more snow in the mountains and rain in the valleys.

a friend:  As we were about two blocks from home, we ran into "the other Doug Corbridge"(I know, what are the chances?) and his lovely and wonderful wife, Dorothy, who I adore, adore, adore.  We stood on the street and caught up on eachother's lives for almost an hour.  We've not seen much of each other since the ward and stake boundary changes last May, even though we live four blocks up the same street.  Oh my gosh, I love Dorothy.  She is one of those people that makes everyone feel like they are just her best friend and that they are the most wonderful people on earth.  It's a gift that she has and I love her for it.  I never leave Dorothy without feeling wonderful and happy and without a deeper appreciation of her example.  Dorothy just plain makes me want to be a better person.   Doug teased as we walked away because he enjoys seeing us both just talking ninety miles an hour to each other anytime we meet .  Her husband Doug is as quiet, gentle and kind as my Doug.  Dorothy and I are both chatty and social.  We can go to lunch and sit without realizing that it's been three hours.   Seeing them made my day!

a couple funnies:  Speaking of Doug teasing me, here's two conversations with my sweetheart, who always makes me laugh with his dry humor, another reason that I love this man:

• Me, holding a necklace, asking for help with the clasp: "Babe, can you please put this on?"
  Doug:  "Yeh, but, it would look much better on you."
• Me, as Doug is reaching over the stove with an open gas flame while I'm making oatmeal:  "Careful, it's on high.  I don't want you to catch your hoodie in fire."  Doug:  "I hate it when ya catch on fire. It can ruin your whole day."


a schedule:  This week is insane!  Tonight, we have a parents meeting about Quayd's week long scout camp. Tomorrow night is game night.  Thursday night is Book Group.  (I might want to start reading that book today or tomorrow.)  Friday night is Date Night.  Saturday, we're looking for a car.  It's always funny to me how you can have a week long vacation or go on a trip and then come home and do double time making up for the time you had off.... you need a vacation to rest from your vacation or to recoup from catching up from the vacation.  Life is good... I'd much rather be busy and involved than have nothing to look forward to each day. 

Enough said!

It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy.
The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.

a totally rambling Monday morning...

After a relaxing weekend including hour birthday breakfast with Carol, relaxing at home, a movie night with the B's and a day at church and resting with the family,  I was ready for spring break to end this morning and send everyone out the door.  I'm ready for my own life back.  Summer vacation is totally different because everyone's not cooped up inside in a blizzard.  It's hard to imagine that summerbreak begins in 52 days!  Carol calls on her way to school each morning and we laughed at the fact that we'd almost forgotten the routine!  By the way, there are only 38 more school days. ZJ moaned at the fact this morning and said, "If we could just run around the halls with our friends and play on the playground all day, that would be great."  Poor ZJ.  ;)  This morning, some rambling thoughts...

• With all of the snow that we've received this past week and plenty more expected over the next few weeks, this could be the worst spring since we were married was the spring/summer that Liza was born.  1983 brought floods and damage that won't be forgotten in our lifetime and from what we are hearing, we're gearing up for what is expected to be worse unless we have some changes in the forecast.  Crazy!  We live a block away from the same creek that ran right through our backyard in 1983 and it was ugly.  We'll see what happens.  The photo below was Friday, the one above today.  Go figure!
• I have already been eye doctor appointment this morning.  Everyone at church yesterday kept asking, "WHAT happened to your eye?"  I have vessels in my right eye...harmless but ugly.  And he had to get in a dig that the font on my Kindle was rather large.  Hey!  At least I can read! This afternoon, another trip with Grace and Quayd to the dentist.  We started over with our annual deductible this month.  Isn't insurance just lovely?
• Stott and Wendy came home a day early from their trip to Southern Utah canyonlands.  On Friday night,  Stott sent me a text with a photo of Miki.  I wrote back that I missed them and asked where they were because I could tell that the photo was not in their trailer.  He wrote back to look closer at the photo for a hint of how close they were.  I had to email it to the laptop to see the photo.   Miki was in her highchair at home in their kitchen!  We raced over for a quick hello after the babes were in bed.  I wasn't sure who I missed more, Wendy or Miki!?  It's great to have us all at home where we belong!  Between my trip and then theirs, we'd not seen eachother for two weeks!  TOO long!
• Since I've received some emails asking...Kelly's really had a hard time with this second surgery and the doctor has said that they may have to go in and do more.  I'm getting cranky about this whole situation. I think that her little "enhancement" surgery has become her nightmare. A mom has to worry, right? Kelly does love the outcome of the second surgery.  She looks nice, but is it worth it to go through all of this?
• My dad and I speak every day  on the phone.  My mother isn't sure how to take this.  She's always had me in her life on a daily basis, even though it was on the phone up until three years ago.  Now, she's "sharing" her daughter with her ex-husband and I'm not sure that she's loving it.  To me, this is like having another baby... you don't love the previous children less when the newborn arrives.  Your heart just grows and has more love for them all.  I love my dad and my mom.  Who'd have thought that at 52, this would be an issue.  It's not for me!  Dad is doing well with the radiation treatments.  We're planning his trip here in June and my next trip to North Carolina in September.  Liza and I can not wait!  PS...All of the sweet notes and prayers are so appreciated.  Thank you.
• This weekend, I received another beautiful gift from my North Carolina cousins (who are more like nieces), an awesome print of an indian and his daughter, very symbolic.  Beautiful.  I'll get it framed immediately.  The letter that came with it moved me to tears, as much as the gift.  They are such a thoughtful group of girls.  I'm touched, once again, by our connections.  I'm loving having family ties to Dad and my family on his side!  This sounds strange but I've seriously missed them already.  This is good! 
• I've spent hours since I got home, doing more geneology and have found nine generations in two lines.  I've learned much about my heritage and it's all very fascinating.  Like a giant puzzle and when you find a piece, there is huge cause for celebration.  Doug has been entertained by my talking out loud to these people, as I ask out loud, "Where are you?  Now, how did you get there?" and when I discover a new link, I really celebrate.  It's been an amazing journey, but I'm finding that nine generations in the deep southern woods is a miraculous achievement and not hopeful for much more. 
• This morning, it's so lovely outside.  I decided to walk, to take the stairs instead of the elevator and feel like walking again later today!  It's great to have sunshine and blue skies for a day before the next storm!
• Life is goooood!


Begin your life today, and again tomorrow.

Friday morning in my backyard...

 

 
 

 

Life: It is about the gift, not the package it comes in. 

A match made in heaven... because no one else would have put us together!

 Previously posted in February 2008

Since it's Valentines week and because I've probably been asked twenty times now how Doug and I met, I'll do it today... a long post, indeed. Doug, to this day, cringes when someone asks us, how we met.  Because, truth of the matter is, we met while he was on his LDS mission in Florida.  You know, the two boys in white shirts and ties with backpacks on, riding bikes everywhere ... Yep. The short of it... Doug taught my step-dad the gospel while on his mission in Florida, connected with the family and kept in touch, came back after his mission to visit the family when I graduated from High School and he was at BYU. We married a year later.  Now, for the juicy details that make Doug cringe, read on.

First of all, and most important, Doug was the best missionary!  He followed the missionary guidelines and we were not inappropriate in our relationship while he was a missionary at all!  There, he can relax now and I can tell the story.  Back then, these young men were told to "Lock their hearts" and leave the key at home before they went on their two year mission in service to the Lord and the church.  Doug was probably the most surprised to realize that he'd meet his wife while on his mission.

I had only joined the church a few years before.  My parents were divorced. Mom was not that active in the church, so I didn't have quite the same dress standards imposed at home that most LDS girls my age had. I was sixteen, a Junior in High School.  I dated a lot. I was a tease, or so my reputation would have it. I flirted and kissed the boys, but that was as far as it went because I was scared to death that Mom would ever catch me doing something that I shouldn't!

I had a little crush on one of the missionaries serving in our ward, Elder Chambers. I had sluffed church one Sunday afternoon and gone to the beach.  Elder Chambers had a new companion assigned and meeting "the new guy" would be a great excuse to say hello to Elder Chambers.  I timed it to pull into the church parking lot just as church was ending.  Elder Chambers and Elder Corbridge were just walking out of the building when I honked my horn to get their attention. They walked over to my car, where I was waiting, sixteen years old, tanned body that I'd kill to have again, in a white string bikini.  Elder Chambers took one look at me and said in his best Utah twang, "GARBAGE!!" because I was so totally immodest and inappropriately dressed.  (Aren't we grateful that we grow in wisdom not just size as we get older!)

I began asking Elder Corbridge where he was from, about his family, how long he had left on his mission, all the normal questions.  When Doug tells this story, he says that he was so shy that he was afraid to talk to himself! I scared him to death!  We talked for just a few minutes. I said goodbye and spun out of the parking lot in my little red sports car.  Doug/Elder Corbridge turned to Elder Chambers and said immediately, "And we will be staying away from that young lady, won't we, Elder?!"  (Nice first impression, I made, eh?)  At that point, Elder Chambers explained that they would be teaching the second discussion at our home on Tuesday night.

My mom and soon-to-be step-dad, Bill were dating at the time.  I didn't care for him at all.  He agreed to listen to the missionaries in effort to get on my good side.  When the missionaries arrived at our home on Tuesday night, I was wearing a pair of "hotpants"(today known as Daisy Duke short shorts) and a halter top.  Elder Corbridge took my mom aside and asked if I could not be in the room during the discussion because I was a "distraction".  (I told you he was obedient!)  Not amused, I did spend the evening in my room until dessert after the discussion/lesson.  We visited a bit that night and I could feel that Doug was different. I asked him if he planned to come back to Florida to visit after his mission ended.  He said, "Why would I do that?"  After all, he had cows and horses and a pick-up waiting for him at their family ranch in Idaho.

Over the summer, Mom fed the missionaries almost nightly while they grew closer to Bill.  We all did!  In July, Mom and Bill were married.  He became "dad" to me, instantly!  Dad adored Elder Corbridge.  Elder Corbridge had a classic 56 Ford Pick-up at home.  Dad bought a 53 Chevy pick-up to restore just to have something to get Elder Corbridge talking.  Dad just thought that the world was a better place because of Elder Corbridge.  And so did I.

In the meantime, Elder Corbridge watched me dating a lot of boys.  The missionaries spent July 4th at our home and he watched me leave and return on five different dates with five different boys that day.  We talked about the boys that I dated, some of which Mom didn't care for.  I was pretty open with him and making him blush many many times.  He was always honest with me in his responses, like a big brother should be.  He was five years older than me.  One conversation that really impressed me was when he said, "I think that the more modest a girl dresses, the more beautiful she is."  He was shocked when I showed up in church the next day with a modest outfit on! I never wore another halter top or short skirt again! (I did keep my bikinis though. °U°)

In August, my brother had a terrible bicycle accident, requiring nearly two-hundred stitches and almost losing his arm completely.  It was on that day that I realized how much I had begun to care for Elder Corbridge because all I could think about was asking him to come to the hospital to give my brother a blessing.  It was their "preparation day", their day off so that they can do laundry, write letters home....  It wasn't until evening before we reached the missionaries and I was so relieved to see Elder Corbridge! 

Elder Corbridge was always very thoughtful and helpful whenever they visited our home.  He'd offer to help Mom clear the table after dinner, to do things for Dad, whatever he saw needing to be done.  The next night, after dinner, he offered to help wash the dishes.  I'd never washed dishes!  Mom did everything so that it was done her way...right. I offered to help with dishes, too!  My mom warned me, "Leave Elder Corbridge alone! While handing over a dish, our hands brushed next to each other in the sink and I could feeeeeeeeeel the sparks fly!  And they weren't big brother sparks at all.

One week later, Doug asked his Mission President to be transferred to another area because, he admitted, he was beginning to have feelings for me.  President Nielson said, "Please don't tell me it's with Sophia Bell."  (He knew me well, oops.) Doug was transferred to the Tampa area to finish the last few months of his mission. Elder Chambers baptized Dad a week after the transfer. A baptism is such a huge thing for a missionary and to ask to leave just before Dad's baptism had to be one of the hardest things Doug had ever done. During the remaining four months of his mission, Doug wrote to our family.  I wrote to him for the family.

His mission president allowed my family to see him at the mission home on the night before he left to return home to Idaho.  That night, Doug told me that he didn't know what the future would hold, but that he hoped that we'd have a chance to find out together.  He flew home the next morning and we kept the phone company in business for the next year.  *Note:  the photo to the right was at Disney World, not the last night of his mission.  We stayed arms distance apart at all times!

Four months later, Doug flew to Florida the week before my graduation. Our first official date was overnight with my entire Senior Class to Walt Disney World for Grad Night.  We watched the sun rise every morning for the week, spending hours and hours talking and getting to know each other.  Doug was still ever so shy, but we just connected, like we'd been waiting for eternity to get together!

Everyone had bets placed on when and where he would propose that week.  It didn't happen.  Doug's not  at all impulsive.  He went back to BYU and then the ranch. By Thanksgiving, we decided that I would fly to Utah, get a job and we could "get to know each other" better.  Doug sent me a one-way ticket to Utah for Christmas.  My mother and I took that as a proposal.  Again, everyone expected that he'd have a ring waiting for me at the airport on Christmas Day 1976 when I arrived in Utah.  It didn't happen.  Or the next day when he took me to the ranch for the first time.  Or the next day when he took me to a family reunion at Sundance Resort to meet 100 Corbridges.  Nope.  Not Doug.  He wanted to be sure!

We took a few marriage prep classes at the LDS Institute that winter quarter and the teacher used Doug and I as the example of the couple who should not get married because we were so different. Different backgrounds, different lifestyles, different personalities. We had nothing in common! Finally, on February 19th, Doug and I hopped in his plum purple 56 Ford pick-up, headed up the canyon and made it to the summit of the mountain, after several attempts all winter long.  We got out and started walking through the snow.  Doug picked up a stick and wrote in the snow, "Will you marry me?"  Then, he got down on one knee and proposed! I thought he'd never ask! That two months seemed like years!! We were married in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple in April of 1977, almost four months after I arrived in Utah. Now, thirty-one years later, our differences have come together somewhere in the middle quite nicely.  I'm thinking this marriage may just work out. ;)  And now you know, the beginning of the story! 

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction.

Winter Wonderland Again!

We woke up this morning to four inches of fresh snow and it's just beautiful out there.  A little late, but beautiful just the same.  

 

Doug and I made the most of our anniversary...every minute counted.  We slept in and got ready for the big day at our leisure, then headed to the big city.  It was snowing/raining every inch of the way until we were almost in SLC. I was not loving the drive, especially when the car in front of us on the freeway lost it and started sliding all over the place.  Weather has never slowed Doug down for anything, so he was unaffected.  The kids were clueless in the back seats of the van, keeping busy with their electronics.

 

We arrived in Salt Lake City and headed over to Temple Square.  We hadn't been there for three minutes before we ran into our next door neighbors from the very first home in Smithfield that we'd bought 33 years ago.  Doug and I laughed because we've never been to Temple Square without running into someone from our past.  It's the joke, "Who will we see today?"

 
The kids loving going to the 26th floor Observation Deck of the LDS Church Office Building. The wind and rain prohibited a lengthy stay but they thought that was pretty awesome.  ZJ was more impressed with the fact that she'd ridden in an elevator.  (Cache Valley has only about five of them and no escalators, so it doesn't take much to excite her.)  Following the Church Office Building, we went over to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and watched the new film in the Legacy Theater.  We then walked around Temple Square under our five umbrellas (tossing one into the trash, but grateful for the other four) and took just a few photos in the one ten-minute break from rain and snow all day long.

  

Next, we took the TRAX over to the Gateway Mall.  The kids had never done this either and thought it was pretty awesome, even though we only rode about four blocks.  Lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, a viewing of the Mt. Everest film in the IMAX theater and then another TRAX ride back to Temple Square for a tour of the LDS History Museum.  The kids were intriqued by the death masks of Joseph and Hyrum Smith and the lifesize ship bunks for those who came across the ocean from England back in the 1800s. (I counted my blessings once more that I was not born in the 1800s!)  I was fascinated by the quilts that were on display for a quilting celebration.  It was surprisingly crowded with quilters because of the event.  The weather didn't slow too many down.

 
One last walk through Temple Square when we realized that it was 7PM, so we headed home in  nasty blizzard-like conditions.  Snow, sleet, slushy roads, low visibility.  Doug was as casual as always driving through it.  The kids begged for McDonalds for dinner, so we went through a drive-through for them.  I'm not a McD fan, so we stopped and got something else, but they thought that McD's was the perfect way to end a perfect day.  Okey dokey, then.

 

We were all totally exhausted when we got home, watched Idol results and headed to bed.  It was a long but wonderful day.  I was just thankful to be home, safe and sound.  Two crazy blizzard drive from SLC in one week is more than enough for me! 

 

It was a great day and as we were climbing into bed, Doug said, "It was a perfect day, being together, having the kids with us, celebrating exactly what we love to do the most - being together."  It was.  34 years of being with Doug... I can think of nothing better, unless it is 34 more and then lots more!

 

 
A few other ramblings this Friday morning:

• Happy Birthday tomorrow to Carol!  Happy Birthday tomorrow to Carol!  Happy Birthday tommorrow to Carol!  Happy Birthday tomorrow tooooooooooo Carolllllllllllllllll!  (in my best singing voice!)
• When I arrived home, there was a package waiting in the mail for me from Megan, my cousin Kent's daughter.  This beautiful dreamcatcher will now hang in my window and remind me of my trip to North Carolina, of my Lumbee Indian roots and those wonderful feelings of being near my family even more often! I loved it and was so thrilled for the surprise! 
• Sorry that I forgot to put the hushpuppy recipe up on my cooking blog.  It's there now!
• Stott and Wendy will be home tomorrow!  I. Can't. Wait!
• Kelly is supposedly having a thirdsurgery today.  Liza told me that Kelly had asked her to keep Zaylee. Kelly's not answered her phone, so I have no details yet.  But, I'm not amused by this whole situation.
• I keep looking outside and have to ask myself, "Is it really April?"  It feels much more like December this morning.  I'd planned on starting my morning walks this week when I got home.  Hmmm... maybe next week! 

There is no wealth but life.

34 years ago today...

Doug and I officially began our life together thirtyfour years ago today.  We stood at the altar in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple and made our marriage covenants, surrounded by family that I'd never even met and today adore and cherish.  We'd known each other for two years, written each other for 18 months, actually dated each other in person for 9 weeks and had been engaged for seven more. We had no clue where the road ahead would lead us.  (This photo was taken the first week that I moved to Utah "to get to know each other.  We're still doing that.)  Today, thirtyfour trivial facts about Doug and I together...

1. We've loved and raised/are raising six beautiful children through thick and thin, good times and bad.
2. We've been blessed with three wonderful grandchildren in our lives
3. We have three other beautiful grandchildren who were adopted by wonderful parents, who allow us to see tidbits of their lives, as well.
4. We've lived in sixteen different homes, eleven towns and four states.
5. We've owned four pick-ups, four vans and nine cars.
6. We've had fifteen dogs, seven cats and three fish.
7. We've owned five televisions, four stereos, three iPods, six computers and one laptop.
8. We have snowmobiled, cross-country skied, parasailed, biked, hiked, four-wheeled, swam, snorkled, scubadived, slid alpine slides, jet-skied, water-skied, snow-skied, snowshoed and ridden horses.
9. We've traveled from Mexico to Canada, LA to DC, Miami to Portland.
10. We've been to the Idaho Falls, Salt Lake City, Logan, Ogden, St. George, Las Vegas, Washington DC, Atlanta, St. Louis, Chicago, Provo and Bountiful LDS Temples.
11. We've been to Disneyland and Disneyworld, the Washington Monument and the Redwood Forest, Nauvoo, Illinois and, Kirtland, Ohio (two prominent LDS historical sights), the Grand Canyon and the Golden Gate Bridge.
12. We've been to Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon, California, Arizona, Nevada, Montana, Texas and Utah together.
13. We've seen Oprah, Arsenio Hall, Morgan Freeman, Maya Angelou, Donny Osmond, Collin Raye, Martina McBride and William DeVane.
14. We've gone through five living room sets and four dining room sets.
15. We met while Doug was serving an LDS mission in South Florida in 1975 and I was a wild teenage girl.
16. The first time that Doug said he loved me, he said, "I love Sophia" in his Donald Duck voice.
17. We slept in the Marriot Hotel in Salt Lake City Utah on it's very first night of opening in about 1980.
18. We are both the oldest children in our families.  (He is the oldest of six.  I'm the oldest of two.)
19. We are both lovers of fruit trees and have planted four cherry trees, three plum trees, a peach tree and an Asian pear tree in our back yard.  We have also planted grapevines and strawberries.
20. One priority on our bucket list is to fly to NYC and while there, tour over the city in a helicopter.
21. We've painted and/or wallpapered over 100 rooms.
22. We've recarpeted three homes, repainted two homes and resided one.
23. We've owned one in-ground pool, three above-ground pools and one season pass to a local pool.
24. We both are winter people... we love a great blizzard... the more snow the better!
25. With the exception of our recent hushpuppy obsession, we eat very healthily... we eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, homemade wholewheat breads, much less meat than recipes call for and most of our food is prepared from scratch.  (This makes GranolaMan smile.)
26. We turn off the TV (the Dish) from May to September.
27. We read books aloud to each other and our children.
28. We celebrated our marriage with a three and a half week long honeymoon across the country, seeing both oceans in the same day and then driving from Miami to Utah.
29. We bought a waterbed on the morning that we got home from our honeymoon and slept on it until nine years ago when we bought our first real mattress.  Doug sleeps with all of the blankets on his side of the bed.  I prefer just keeping my feet covered with the sheet.  It works.
30. I gave Doug a haircut on the Monday after our honeymoon.  It was the only haircut I've ever given him.   
31. We love new age music, country music and the oldies.  The Eagles are our favorite from the 70s, Windham Hill from the 80s, Garth Brooks from the 90s and this last decade, we played it all!  "Our" song in the 70's was "Miracles" by Jefferson Starship.  In the 80's, it was "Happy to Be Stuck with You", in the 90's, "Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks".  For the last decade, it's been "Blessed" by Martina McBride.
32. Our favorite movies are Man from Snowy River, Princess Bride, French Kiss, Sleepless in Seattle and the Mission Impossibles. (I typed these movies and then asked Doug.  He said the same movies.)
33. We love eachother and are best friends.  We don't argue, we discuss.  We kiss each other everytime one of us leaves the other and we always say "I love you, goodbye", even if it's just to run next door. We laugh together... at ourselves, at everything possible...as much as possible.
34. We both love the gospel of Jesus Christ and aspire to  live and follow His exemplary life, which is undoubtedly the best commonality that we share.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABE!  Je t'aime! 

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.

birthdays, anniversaries and some family ramblings

A few ramblings: 

• birthday ~ Today is our granddaughter, Willow's fourth birthday. We've spent exactly one week in her little life together.  But, she's our California cutie.  How grateful I am for technology that, at least, allows me to see her picture on occasion. 
• recovery ~ Kelly is still struggling after this second surgery.  It hurts, but, she is on the mend. I think that she has definite second thoughts about the matter.  But, she looks very nice.  Is it worth it, is the question?
• sweet sounds ~ I always ask ZJ to call everyone to the table, "Kids, it's time for dinner."  It's the sweetest little song and lights Doug's eyes up everytime.  When I asked her to call the kids up for dinner Monday night, Zaylee raced over to the top of the stairs and called down, "Kiiiiiiiiids.  It time for dinner.  Dinner!  Dinnnnnner!"   The look on Doug's face was priceless.    Zaylee now calls Mojo, her little pomeranian puppy, "Mojorito" like Doritoes.  It's adorable.  He's a very tolerant pup. Oh, it's wonderful to be a grammie!
• cooking ~ I made eggs and grits for breakfast yesterday.  ZJ surprised me by not liking them.  She loves everything, even Doug's blender drinks.  EEWWW.  Quayd said that they were okay, Gracie liked them.  BTW, grits without the bacon grease are just not as good.   I made hushpuppies for dinner. (Thank you, Pam, for the new recipe!  I'll post it on the cooking blog today.)  Everyone, even Doug lovedthem.  During dinner, ZJ said, "I'm thankful that Mom has become a country girl again."  We all laughed out loud.  Liza and Buddy dropped by later and I made their share.  Liza's comment:  "If it weren't for Dad, I think we'd have eaten like this our whole lives."  She loved them and is very anxious for us to take that trip down south!
• hope ~ Dad has gone ahead with his plans and begins his first radiation treatment today. (Fifteen minutes every day for six weeks.)  Please keep him in your prayers.  Dad and I had a long conversation last night.  He is full of hope and now, is planning to beat this cancer!  It's amazing what we can do with a purpose.  Family is the greatest purpose of all!
• reconnect ~ Speaking of Dad, what a wonderful surprise yesterday my cousin, Sherrie, on my mom's side, called.  I've not seen Sherrie since 1980.  I had no idea that she reads my blog and she wanted to say how fun it was to see "Uncle Buddy" (my dad) in the photos last week.  Mom and Dad divorced in 1971, so Sherrie hadn't seen him since about 1970.  It was so fun to catch up!  Another great blessing that has come from my blog and from my trip!  We discussed the fact that we need to take a trip to West Virginia and find some of our moms' roots.  So much to do in life and so little time to do it.
• separation ~ I'm missing the Bs immensely.  With me gone for a week, and now they are away for spring break, it will be the longest we've ever been apart since Miki was born.  We'd tossed around going on this trip too.  My trip to NC made the decision for us.  So, it's been too long! I can't wait for their return!  I'm loving the pix that Stott has been sending by cellphone!
• photo ~ I was asked to post a photo of Dad when he was young.  So, here's Dad in 1975.  He'd have been about 20. I was about one.  Ironically, this photo was taken in the same place as the one of Dad sitting in the chair last week...50 years later.
• cookies ~ The cookie jar was empty when I got home from North Carolina.  Gracie informed me that this is just wrong.  "We can't have an empty cookie jar!  It's time to make cookies!"  Trip or no trip,  there's no slacking for this mom!  I love that my kiddos count on me for certain things that are of no import to the rest of the world but mean "home" to them.  Now, if I can just finish the catch-up on the laundry!
• Tomorrow is our 34th Wedding Anniversary!  Doug informed me last night that he's taken the day off and we are going to Salt Lake City.  The kids are on spring break and want to go with us. I've missed them enough to want to take them.  As of this minute, Doug's suggestinga trip to the top of the  LDS Church Office Building, an iMax show or a movie at the big SouthTowne theater complex.  We'll see what tomorrow brings, but it will be great to spend the day together.  I'm excited!  I heart my husband!


Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you. 

 

North Carolina ~ Day 5, the trip home

Lonnnnnnnng entry, but one that I didn't want to forget.  In short, my trip home was a lonnnnng nightmare, but, I made it!  For details, read on:

As I wrote yesterday, my goodbye with Dad was tender and sweet.  I drove away in tears, thankful that I was leaving him with my cousin, Kent.  I had allowed myself three hours to get to Raleigh and turn in the rental car, then another two hours before my flight. I actually had given myself an extra two hours of wait time at the airport, if everything went well, and was slightly irritated at myself for wasting that two extra hours that I could have spent with Dad and Kent.  However, as it turned out, I was wise to have given myself that time because I could have never guessed what the rest of my day would be like! 

I drove straight to the airport with ease in less than 2 hours, even with crazy busy traffic.   I pulled into Raleigh/Durham Airport with ease and then the trouble began.  When I had landed last Tuesday, that the shuttleride to the rental car place seemed extremely long and I remembered thinking, "I hope I can find this place when I get back".  Little did I know that the rental car place was not even on airport property.  That mighthave been a good thing for them to tell me before I drove away in their car.  I followed the rental car return signs at the airport and found no company for my car.  Over.  And over.  And over.  For 40 minutes.  With an airport security guy's directions.  With some guy out at a gate at the runway where planes were flying in over our head.  I searched everywhere!  Through the airport, back on to I-40, again and again, five times. The number to call was an 800#, so I knew that they couldn't help me.  Finally, I found some local advertisement and a very kind old black man stayed on the phone with me and, literally, drove me one step at a time until I pulled in.  I was in tears, thanking him for his help.

Airport security at RDU Airport is even tighter than SLC.  WOW.  I got the whole treatment, and they went through my bags.  I'd brought some sticks from a holly tree at my grannie's parents' cemetery because Quayd has wished for Holly wood to make Harry Potter wands with.  (They are mentioned in the HP books, I guess.)  It was worth the extra effort to see his face when I gave them to him.

And from then on, the trip could be summed up in four words, "Hurry Up.  And Wait."

When I got to the gate, the flight was already delayed 40 minutes.  I had no idea that almost all SWA flights had been delayed because of the big incident that's been on the news all week. I'd called SWA several times with questions about my carry-on luggage to double check that my things would fit, that I would be able to get help lifting the luggage into the overhead bins (because of my shoulder) and that no cranky flight attendant would tell me that I had to check things at the last minute.  I'd been assured that they'd love to help me.  Hmmm. 

I was boarding pass A30, the thirtieth person to board the plane. I asked a man in line if he'd be willing to lift my luggage up when we boarded and he said, "We'll see."  Huh?  When we got on the plane, he literally raced to the back, leaving me with a piece of luggage that I could not lift up into the overhead.  I stepped into my seat area for a sec looking for a man who might help when the flight attendant snapped that I needed to put the luggage above.  I said, "I'm sorry, but I have an injury and am unable to lift anything over my shoulders.  I was looking for someone to help."  She gave this big disgusted sigh/moan, rolled her eyes, then growled, "Next time, CHECK YOUR LUGGAGE!!!" She loaded the piece up into the overhead storage, grabbed my laptop bag and threw it up there too.  I was sitting in the bulkhead.  Before she grabbed it, I was going to pull my Kindle out of the top of the bag and she said that I could not hold anything in that seat!  PERIOD!  Excuse me? 

Now, normally, I'm very friendly and cheerful.  But, when someone is rude, I'm not afraid to ask, "Excuse me, but who pooped in your oatmeal this morning?" However, I was in such an emotional state... saying goodbye to Dad, the rental car mess, the extra security check, the delayed flight and having not slept the night before, I just sat down and burst into tears.  With my iPod headphones over my ears, I cried from that moment through the take-off and for the first half hour of our five hour flight. That's so NOT me.

Later in the very turbulent flight, a man got up to use the bathroom... the only passenger on the plane who was standing at the time.  The flight attendant had not noticed him until he came out of the bathroom, announced over the speaker, "Ladies and Gentlemen,  the seatbelt sign is turned on for a reason! STAY IN YOUR SEATS!"  Now, I realize that she was doing her job in keeping us safe.  But, every eye in the plane was on the man as he walked through the aisle to his seat.  I was so embarrassed for him.  A woman seated on our aisle commented about how rude this flight attendant was.  She, obviously, woke up on the wrong side of the plane!

When we landed, a kind gentleman offered to grab my luggage overhead. I raced from one terminal to the next with my two bags in hand, arriving at the gate, literally, as they were beginning the boarding.  We got situated and we waited.  And waited. About 45 minutes later, the flight attendant announced that there was a delay.  A few minutes later, the pilot came on and announced that one of the baggage carts had accidentally crashed into our plane's engine, making a 16" gauge in it.  They were working on getting it repaired and then we would leave.  Fifteen minutes later, he came on and told us that now, they had to take photos of the repair and send them to Dallas so that the FAA could approve the repair and take-off.  Fifteen minutes later, they told us that we could get off the plane and wait at the gate inside the airport.  It was 93 degrees in Pheonix.  The terminal was hot.  The plane, at least, was very cool, so I opted to just wait in my seat.  Then, this awesome and wonderful flight attendant, Matt, announced that now, we had toget off the plane, but we could leave our luggage on.  Everyone deboarded.   Ten minutes later, Matt announced that we all had to go back on the plane to get our luggage off because the plane had been grounded for the time. 

About this time, my cellphone rang and it was the airport shuttle dispatch calling to ask me if I knew why the plane was delayed and what time I'd be landing.  She explained that she could not locate another driver scheduled until Sunday morning at 8AM.  I had just overheard the SWA people discussing the possibilities of us all spending the night in Phoenix and taking a morning flight.  So.  The shuttle girl told me that I would have to get my own ride home or spend the night in SLC and they'd pick me up at an airport hotel.  Lovely. I thought that their advertisement for 24/7 shuttles meant 24/7 shuttles.  Oh well.  She was friendly and apologetic and at this point, I was ready to just change my flight to the next morning regardless. I was hungry and tired and anxious!

We waited.  And waited.  Finally, they announced that the SLC passengers were to go to a different gate, that a new plane was coming in at 9 and that we would leave as soon as that plane landed and the check-in luggage was transferred into it.  A cheer from everyone.  We all moved to the new gate.  No sooner than we were situated there, having hauled all of our belongings to the new terminal gate, they announced that we were to go back to the original gate because we would be using the original plane after all.  They announced that the plane that was grounded for more repairs ten minutes ago was now ready to fly.  Go figure.

I was posting little Facebook updates on my phone to pass the time when I got a surprise call from a friend from our valley.  He and his business partner had just landed at the SLC airport. He asked if our issues were resolved yet and offered to wait in Salt Lake until I arrived so that they could bring me home.  HAPPINESS!! 

We all went back to the original gate, they boarded us by name. It was now well after 10PM.  I should have been home by now. Matt, the amazing flight attendant, entertained us for the next hour and half.... until the minute we landed, asking trivia questions, telling jokes, giving themost entertaining presentation of emergency procedures ever.  At take off, he literally threw the peanuts on the floor at the front of the plane.  With the thrust from the take-off, the peanuts slid down that main aisle of the plane all the way to the back with aisle passengers grabbing and passing them out.  It was non-stop laughter and entertainment until his final word as we got off the plane in SLC.  I heart Matt!

The flight wasvery turbulent and the snowstorm that we had first been told we were two hour ahead of was coming down fullsteam!  Dave and Kelly were waiting for me at the doors of the airport in their truck and we drove at about 35 -50 mph in the storm from Salt Lake City until we got into our valley.  They insisted on driving me all the way home, even though Doug had offered to meet us.  Even with the winter driving conditions, it was great to be with friendly faces and to know that I was almost there!  We pulled in at 1:36AM.  CRAZY!

Now, I say often that from every challenge comes something of greater benefit.  I have been looking for the good in this situation.  First, the cranky flight attendant really was disturbing.  I kept thinking that this woman would have cost SWA a lot of customers if she'd been a part of the fiasco that took place on the second plane. Rather, Matt had us laughing and so entertained that we would have been happy to fly another few hours to get home.  He was a delight.  Customer service is what it's all about!  Love that!

Second, I got to spend some time with Dave and catch up on his family on the drive home, which was awesome!  His friend, Kelly, is neighbors with a man that Doug and I credit for our ever getting engaged.  We've not seen him in years and it was so great to hear about his family. What a blessing that Dave happened to check his FB as he turned on his phone!

Third, when I got home, Doug and I sat up talking and looking at pictures alone, which would have been much more chaotic if the kids had have still been up.  That was great! 

Fourth, I was able to use that time thinking about how some things matter in life and others are just little bumps in the road.  We can react or we can roll with them.  It was a good lesson in patience.

Last, when you're planning on seeing your family, planning on getting a good nights sleep next to your sweetheart and waking up to make cinnamon rolls and watch LDS General Conference and the possibility of something so "normal" (a tradition in our family for 35 years) not happening occurs, it makes you really think and appreciate it all the more.  When we woke up Sunday morning, I couldn't get enough of the babes and Doug.  I enjoyed making the cinnamon rolls more than ever.  I watched the clock all morning, thinking, "I could still be in Phoenix.  I could be on a plane right now..."   It was grand to be home!

I've spoken with Southwest and told them of my experience, thanking the for having an employee like Matt, who turned an ugly mess into entertainment and good memories.  (I wish I'd have recorded his stand-up act. He really was great.)  They thanked me for the input.  I've also talked with the owner of the shuttle, who'll be refunding that fee since they weren't able to get me home, as promised.  In the end, it was all good. 

Last night, Liza and Buddy, Kelly and Zaylee came for dinner and Family Home Evening, where I told the tales of my North Carolina adventure and shared all of the photographs.  Liza has decided that she's going with me on my next trip to see Dad.  She's starting her savings for the trip today.  The girls had plenty of questions and felt the connection to their roots, as well.  It was exciting.  Doug just beams as he loves my native american/southern roots as much as I do.  It's great to be home and greater to have a trip in the future to look forward to.  I talked with my dad a few times yesterday.  He sounded so good. i miss him.  The babes are out of school for a week long spring break. We have planned nothing spectacular yet, but are trying to decide on a few things to do close to home to make it memorale.  We'll see what the week brings. Life is good. 

Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. 

Day 4 ~ North Carolina

Oh my gosh, I'm writing this on Monday morning.  Day 4 was Friday and it seems like two months ago already.  But, Day 4 was definitely one of interest and excitement, to say the least. 

Friday morning, when I woke up, Dad was ready and raring to go.  The rain was gone, the wind was blowing and the sun was shining on occasion.  It was a different world.  Aunt Verdia had made eggs, bacon, sausage and more grits for breakfast, which suited me just fine.  I assured Dad that I'd eaten more on any day this week than I do in a week at home. And at home, I don't think that I've fried one pound of bacon in the past year.  The food is so different!  Being married to Granolaman, I think that hushpuppies and BBQ pork will happen once a year here at home.

 
We did more running, had BBQ sandwiches and hushpuppies for lunch, and headed out for more cemetery hopping back to the Sampson Cemetery again,  discovered two more generations there.  There were two more that I had names and no date for that I'd love to have found.  Right near the headstones of most of the people that we located were a dozen older headstones that had broken off and were no longer legible.  I felt certain that there among those were the people we were looking for.  I can not describe the joy that I felt in discovering these ancestors and having dates and a location to bring them to "life" for me.  It was exhilarating.  Even moreso, was seeing Dad's enthusiasm.  He was in tears, as was I, over the same joy.  We found a commonality that connected us even more.

 
Pembroke is a small town, where Dad knows everyone.  We were stopped at a traffic light and were flagged to pull over to a gas station by a man.  Dad said that he'd been wanting to meet me.  While stopped two other men came to the car to meet us.  Wherever we went, people commented that they knew I was coming to visit and had hoped to meet me.  Many of these people were names and faces that vaguely came back from my childhood. It was so interesting how some people just reappeared in my mind as soon as we spoke.  Dad and Aunt Sue both commented on how shocked they were by my memory. (I'm so glad that I can remember my childhood because I can't remember five minutes ago, in my old age! ;)  )  

 
Much of Dad's and my activity came from me sharing a memory from my childhood and then Dad taking me to the place to recall it.  I had described one fun memory of swinging on a rope from a tree into a river.  (I don't believe that I actually swung alone, but do remember Dad swinging me and playing in the water on the bank while the big people did it.) I described the river being down a little hill from an old church and woods and a bridge. Later that afternoon, as we drove around a curve, there it was!  Dad said, "That might me the place you were talking about" and before he could get the words out of his mouth, I was saying, "Dad!  That's the river!"   We stopped and took some pix. There is a sign posted for no swimming now and the swing is gone because Dad said that too many people had drowned there in the deep waters.  But, I relived the memory, just as well.  It's fascinating how our memories come back to us.

Later in the afternoon, one of Dad's cousins, Shelby Jean, came to visit with her daughter, Terri. Terri is my age and they had moved to Miami just before we did in the late 60's.  I could remember staying at Shelby Jean's home on Saturdays in Miami when Mom worked.  Terri and I would play Barbies (they were new then) all day long and how I loved it. It was such a thrill to see someone who I actually was older and had many detailed memories of.  So much fun and oh, my heck, we laughed through the whole visit!  I'd loved to have had more time with them!

 
My cousin, Kent, (Aunt Sue's son) had offered to take Dad and I out to get fresh seafood for dinner and so, we all met at the restaurant and this was one of the highlights of my week.  Visiting with the whole family together, getting to know Kent better than I ever have, making connections with his family and eating this delicious southern seafood, how could it not be!  Oysters, clams, fresh flounder and shrimp.  I do believe there were some hushpuppies involved (the best yet).  Great food and better company!

 
After dinner, we went back to the house to settle down for the night.  I did not want the night to end.  Kent and Aunt Sue came over to visit until late and I so did not want them to leave.  I loved every word out of Kent's mouth.  He invited us to drop by in the morning before I left.  Interestingly enough, whenever I travel, I plan to leave in the mornings, as early as possible because I'm always so ready to get home.  I knew that when he made that invitation, it would probably never happen,  but, when I woke up, I couldn't wait to get over to Kent's house and spend more time with him!

  
After everyone left late Friday night, Dad and I decided to get ready for bed then reconvene for a latenight visit.  I walked into the kitchen and the evening plans were abruptly changed when a knock came at the door.  Dad looked at Aunt Verdia and I knew that something was up.  In walked Aunt Verdia's grandson, who's lived a very hard and rough life.  A tractor ran over his head in the tobacco field when he was seven years old.  His face is disfigured.  Today, he is a homeless transient, and he shows up, Dad said, about once a month for a shower and then disappears again.  He was intoxicated.  When he came in, he stopped and just stared at me, as he didn't expect me to be there.  Standing there in my nightgown, I quickly excused myself and went to my room.  He stayed the night in the living room, so my latenight visit with Dad was cut short. I do have to admit, the whole situation made me nervous.  I slept with my door locked, although Dad told me that he'd probably be gone before I woke up. He was.  This was an interesting experience worth mentioning because, although the thought of a drunken transient sleeping outside my door frightened me, my heart ached for this man, who's circumstances of life were changed by an accident caused when he was just a child.  Aunt Verdi and I were talking about it and I told her that I believe that the special ones are here as a test to see how we'll treat them.  (Ironically,  I'd set up my Blast from the Past blog entry for that same morning on this topic, two weeks before, not knowing that I would be facing this on that very morning.)

On Saturday morning, I was up bright and early, packed and ready to go.  After goodbyes with Aunt Verdia, we went over to cousin Kent's home and spent an hour and a half visiting with Kent and Ronda.  I. Did.  NOT. Want. To. Leave.  Saying goodbye to Kent was harder than I thought it would be.  He could sense my feelings and said, "You don't want to go, do you?" He then commented that he had noticed that I had found a peace here and it showed.  I did.  I felt so connected to my dad, to Kent, to our past and so many good memories of my childhood had come back.  Maybe it was because I wasn't old enough to see that my parents marriage was headed nowhere, maybe it was because we moved every few months and no longer than a year while I was a child, maybe it was because of the roots that I knew and had discovered more of.  BUT.  I do feel that this was the only place from my childhood that I could or would ever call home.   My dad had built our home there. It's still in the family.  My memories of grandparents and cousins all took place there.  It is home.  Saying goodbye to Kent was hard.  Just before I left, he gave me a Native American gift made from a tortoise shell.  Kent dances or danced at powwows, his home is all Native American decor.  He wears our heritage proudly. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness.  I just love Kent and his family!

Saying goodbye to Dad. I don't even think that I can put it into words. Dad is very close to Kent's wife,  Ronda.  She watches out for him, keeps track of his medical situation, just loves him like he was her father.  When I arrived, Dad was planning his death.  This was to be goodbye.  Ronda kept teasing Dad that he needed to make a Plan B because he might still be here in 20 years.  Dad was fine with Plan A. He was pensive the first day that I arrived and I could feel that he was just reliving his life, with many regrets.  Each day, he seemed to lighted up a bit, although he never did become the boisterous, jovial man that I remember.  We talked a lot during our hours driving from place to place all week.  I have no resentments to my dad.  I adore him. Always have.  Always will, regardless.  By the time I left, I truly felt that he knewthis.  I said to him many times, "Dad, do you know how much I love you?"  He does.  So.  Our goodbye was tearful. I think that Dad thought of it as "the last time".  I wouldn't accept that and said, "You get better and come out this summer.  Then, I'll come out and see you again next spring!"  I wouldn't say goodbye.  We were both bawling and he held me like he was never going to let me go.  Kent had left us alone for a time to say our goodbyes, but he walked back as I was getting into my car to drive away.  I was so grateful that he was there for Dad.  It was a long and tearful two-hour drive alone to Raliegh Airport.

 
Now, I must skip ahead.  I'll write about the trip tomorrow.  What a day.  But, I must share that yesterday, I came home and spent some time on Ancestry.com putting together the facts that I discovered while they are so fresh.  I talked with Dad four times yesterday.   We laughed and cried.  He told me over and over how much he enjoyed the time together.  BUT.  Here was the good news. He told me that he'd called Ronda yesterday morning and told her that he has a Plan B!  He told her that he's going to get better and come to see me and my family this summer.  As we talked Family History through the day, I had discovered a few more facts.  We'd planned to go to Ten Mile Cemetery on Friday, even though we doubted that we had people there, but I'd offered to pass on it because I could tell Dad was tired. As I discovered some death certificates yesterday, I found that we have a whole other family line at this Cemetery.  Dad said that he'll go and get the dates for me.  We discussed my going back and doing more of this together when I return.  He said, "Now we have a Plan C, too, darlin!" 

My dad has found new reason to fight this cancer and to not just give up and let it beat him.  This came, as a direct result of our time together.  He realizes that he's not just going to die a lone man in the world, but that he has purpose and reason.  I cry as I write these words.  I feel as though we both gained so much from the experience of being together.  Dad wasn't there much when I was growing up. But, never once in my life have I questioned that he loved me.  He just never grew up himself.  I think that we both did some growing up together last week.  What a gift to us both. I love my dad. Enough said about that.

Now, one last huge surprise from the trip... Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm OCD about germs and have very quirky anxiety (from being raised by my over-protective and paranoid mother.)  From the moment that I stepped off that plane, to the moment that I walked in my door at home, germs never bothered me one second.  I touched doorknobs, moldy moss covered headstones, went into places that normally would have had me climbing the walls, ate things I'd never eat.  I didn't use hand sanitizers once. I didn't wash my hands obsessively at all.  I didn't worry about who had touched my food first.  Very strange.  But, so awesome.  I'm hoping that whatever clicked in my North Carolina brain doesn't unclick here at home.  It is something that I've prayed for for quite some time! 

The whole trip couldn't have been better.  Seriously, four of the best days of my life. I came home to a clean house and a lot of laundry.  Doug and the babes were sound asleep when I arrived at one thirty six in the AM.  I didn't wake the babes but Doug and I sat up for an hour talking.  It had been a long and emotional day.  Details of the flight home tomorrow... a few good laughs, a few more tears.  The babes were so happy to have Mom home. Doug and I couldn't hug and wink at eachother enough.  General Conference, cinnamon rolls, relaxing family Sunday at home. And the whole family is tawking a bit lak me today.  Life is good!  Enough said.

For some moments in life there are no words.

dad and moi!

 

 

NC ~ Day 4

I'm on my way home!  My plane doesn't land until 9 tonight, then a shuttle ride from the airport home.  A long day!  Pictures and more stories tomorrow!

Special Ones

PS.  LDS General Conference is available online today and tomorrow at 10 AM and 2 PM.  I'll be on a plane heading home during the afternoon session.  I can't wait to hear every minute of it!

Today's entry was previously posted in October 2006. 

I’m so embarrassed. Several months ago, the babes noticed a woman pushing a severely handicapped boy in a wheel-chair. This boy was mentally challenged, as well as physically. The loud sounds that he was making and his physical appearance were blatantly different. His noises caught the attention of the babes instantly and they began to snicker, thinking that the boy was being funny on purpose. Fortunately, the mother did not see or hear their reaction.

I took them straight outside to the van and gently explained to them that this little boy was one of Heavenly Father’s most special children. As I told them, I remember that tears filled my eyes (as they do now when I think of it). I explained that sometimes Heavenly Father allows people to be born with these special challenges and that part of our test is how we treat them. We discussed that we never make fun or light of their bodies because those bodies are guaranteed to go straight back to heaven. They are most special. We talked about how many of those bodies are imperfect with minds just as sharp and smart as we are, but their body has no way to communicate their feelings and thoughts. So, if anyone is being unkind or mean to them, they can be truly hurt because they are aware of the teasing. The babes captured it completely. Since then, we’ve had several opportunities to see children like this, including one little boy in Quayd’s Cub Scout Pack. They’ve been wonderful to be friendly and kind to say hello, to never stare or talk about them in their presence. If they have questions, they know to ask later. Okey dokey. THAT said....

Today, I had to run into Wal-mart. (I hate Wal-mart. But, that has nothing to do with this story.) Liza, the babes and I were in the lightbulb aisle when a girl was being pushed toward us in a wheel. I noticed her foot was covered in a bright yellow plastic sock-looking thing. I immediately assumed that this was some new snazzy surgical sock. I said to the babes and being friendly to the girl, "Hey, look at her cool yellow foot!" The girl’s quick response, "Yep, and I even have a cool knee with hearts on it too!" as she lifted her pants leg and showed us her artificial leg! My heart skipped a beat! NEVER would I have said this, had I realized that this was an artificial limb! NEVER in a gazillion years!

And then, as only Gracie could, "Hey! You don’t have a real leg! What happened to your leg? Were your born with that? Did you used to have a leg?" Her questions would not stop until the girl said, "No, I had a leg when I was born but I had to have surgery and I got an infection and then I got this leg." Gracie became very sober as we walked away and said, "Mama, her leg is worse than my stitch." (Gracie calls her recent appendectomy her "stitch". When someone else gets a boo-boo, she compares it to her stitch. Hers is always the worst "stitch" ever.) She was humbled by this. As we walked away, she said, "Mama, is she one of the special ones?"

Later, Liza said, "MOM! I can NOT believe you just said that!" I felt so lame! I truly thought it was a real foot with a cool sock! She was in a wheel chair, for Pete’s sake. I’d never have said that it to make her feel bad! I felt awful!! When I shared the experience with Doug, he was glad that Gracie had realized that there were worst things than her "stitch", that she was sympathetic to someone with a worse situation than her own, that the girl had responded so kindly. This was one of my more embarrassing moments, but it was worth it.   It was a humbling opportunity for a lesson to be learned. It was a great reminder to look at another person's challenges with respect and concern.  It gave us each a chance today to reflect on and appreciate our own healthy bodies, as well as our own challenges (aches and pains included), no matter what they are!  After all, we're all special ones!  Enough said.

 

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you,
they're supposed to help you discover who you are. 

North Carolina ~ Day 3

Can I just say that I'm loving every minute of this trip!  I've not mentioned in all the talk of rain, just how beautiful and colorful everything is here right now in NC.  There are the most beautiful purple grape type flowers climbing the pine trees.  Gorgeous!

 

Yesterday, Dad wasn't feeling so well.  I think that I wore him out the day before.  As a matter of fact, I was up and completely ready to go before he woke up.  He'd gone to bed at 9:30 the night before and slept until 9:30 in the morning.  To be totally honest, his cousin and I were almost afraid to go into his room and wake him.  He'd been feeling so poor the night before that him not waking up had us worried.  We discussed it and decided to go in and check on him together.  We were both nervous about it.  We opened his door when he didn't answer and called out his name a few times before he even moved.  It was a fright, no doubt.  But, he was sleeping deeply, which was good.

 

So.  We took it easy for the day.  We decided between storms to take a ride out to the Locklear Cemetery again, since we'd only found the one name there.  Dad was pretty sure that his Grannie's parents were the only ones there that we'd recognize there.  I took my family history papers and pedigrees along and we began the search for his great-grandfather and mother.  He doubted seriously that we'd find them.  I have found two documents mentioning a "Zenith" and a "Zena", but wasn't sure about either of them, only that they both had a husband by the name of Daniel.  Sure enough, we found them buried next to eachother... My Great- Great Grands on Grannie's side... making them Great-Great-Grannie-Grands.  :)Dad was as excited as I was about this!  These tiny cemeteries are so fascinating.  We actually drove by one just up the road that had about 12 graves in the middle of some crop.  Fascinating!  In Utah/Idaho, most cities have one cemetery and everyone's buried there.  Here, every family has their own.

 

I would have to say that the highlight of my day was visiting Aunt Hattie, one of my Granddaddy's sisters. I hope I look so great and am as sharp as she is at 82!  wow!  She'd barely changed since I was a little girl.  What a thrill to visit with her after all these decades.  Dad said, "Go ahead,  Ask her your questions."  And so I asked a few details on names and such, but then I asked her to just simply tell me about her parents (my great-grands).  Oh my gosh.  What a choice hour that was to learn the first and only things I have ever heard of my granddaddy's mother (who died when Dad was young) and more about my great grandfather than I'd ever known.  Two things that really stuck out in my mind.  1.  As children, Aunt Hattie said that they never ate a hot breakfast because her father would pray so long every morning in detail for the upcoming day of their lives. He was a minister. And 2...she said that her father "was a preacher, but Mama was the Saint" as she shared some tender thoughts about her mother.  Could this trip be any more wonderful?  Spending time with Dad and learning these things together?!?  WOW!

 

After our cemetery venture, we headed out for lunch... imagine... BBQ pork, coleslaw and hushpuppies!  I've decided that I'm going to stop on my way to the airport and get the biggest order I can to take home and let the family try them, plus I'm going to buy some mix to make at home.  Neither will be as good as these, but they'll get the idea.

 

Dad needed some rest in the afternoon, so after lunch, I took a drive myself.  I chatted with Denise on the phone for a bit (because we can't live without a daily visit regardless of where we are) and then just enjoyed driving on my own and revisiting my childhood.  It was pouring the rain, but I enjoy every drop!  The one thing I miss most in Utah is rain, so this weather is divine to me!  Everyone keeps apologizing for the rain.  I'm loving it!

 

Dad rents a room from his cousin's widow, Verdia.  She's an 82 year old wonderwoman/angel sent from above.  I adore her!  She takes such good care of Dad.  She's known Dad since he was a little boy and "mothers" him like Grannie did.  He looks up to her so much.  She has a daughter who's my age living next door and between the two of them,  I feel good knowing that Dad is in good hands.  Last night,  Verdia and Jean made a country dinner of fried chicken, rice in gravy, field peas and fried cornbread.  oh. My.  I'm certain to gain five pounds a day.  And then there is that late night piece of homemade pound cake. 

 

I've written before but I'll say it again... part of the reason that I didn't see my dad for all those years was that he was a convicted cocaine dealer.  He spent almost 14 years in prison.  Last night, for the first time, I asked him about it.  It was intriguiging to hear of his experiences, which I won't share here and now, but suffice it to say, it is a world in which I'd never even be able to imagine.  And then, the conversation led to regrets and repentance and forgiveness and the gospel.  We sat up late talking about it in detail.  I'd prayed for opportunities to discuss these things.  I will add that it was interesting to discuss my LDS faith with Aunt Verdi joining in with her Pentecostal Holiness beliefs. ;)

Here's a photo of Aunt Hattie.  Isn't she lovely!?  Being with her was like having a little time with Granddaddy!

 

It appears that my every prayer has been answered so far on this trip.  My anxiety about the flight, my worries about the family at home, my fears that Dad wouldn't be well enough to enjoy the time... it's all been so perfect.  As we were driving today, I reminded my dad once again that I don't care that he sold drugs, that he was an absent father, that he was a womanizer.  None of that matters to me.  He's my father and I love him.  It's not my place to judge him or carry ill feelings toward him.  He's never been anything but adoring and loving to me.  That's ALL that matters to me.  I love this whole experience!

 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,  or home, I should say, the kids are missing their mama.  No question.  I told them that they could call anytime and they have.  Morning, noon and night, which I believe has compensated greatly.  Liza called to share a huge decision that she's making.  Kelly called last night to inform me that she's going in at 6Am today for surgery.  Her surgery from three weeks ago has gone awry and she is having to have more surgery to fix the problems.  This will be more invasive than the last.  I'll be anxious to hear from her today.  BUT.  I will enjoy this last day with Dad and make every second count.  We've got plans to visit one more cemetery today, to revisit Grannie and Granddaddy's grave, to see and photograph that my great grandfather built with Granddaddy and his brothers and that Dad carried the bricks to them for as a little boy and then we're going out for dinner with my cousin, Kent and his family... seafood and I'm sure, some more hushpuppies.  I said it before I came, I'm glad to be here and have this experience but I also will be glad to get home tomorrow with my family.  Being away from each other makes us all appreciate eachother even more. Life is, oh, so good.