North Carolina ~ Day 3

Can I just say that I'm loving every minute of this trip!  I've not mentioned in all the talk of rain, just how beautiful and colorful everything is here right now in NC.  There are the most beautiful purple grape type flowers climbing the pine trees.  Gorgeous!

 

Yesterday, Dad wasn't feeling so well.  I think that I wore him out the day before.  As a matter of fact, I was up and completely ready to go before he woke up.  He'd gone to bed at 9:30 the night before and slept until 9:30 in the morning.  To be totally honest, his cousin and I were almost afraid to go into his room and wake him.  He'd been feeling so poor the night before that him not waking up had us worried.  We discussed it and decided to go in and check on him together.  We were both nervous about it.  We opened his door when he didn't answer and called out his name a few times before he even moved.  It was a fright, no doubt.  But, he was sleeping deeply, which was good.

 

So.  We took it easy for the day.  We decided between storms to take a ride out to the Locklear Cemetery again, since we'd only found the one name there.  Dad was pretty sure that his Grannie's parents were the only ones there that we'd recognize there.  I took my family history papers and pedigrees along and we began the search for his great-grandfather and mother.  He doubted seriously that we'd find them.  I have found two documents mentioning a "Zenith" and a "Zena", but wasn't sure about either of them, only that they both had a husband by the name of Daniel.  Sure enough, we found them buried next to eachother... My Great- Great Grands on Grannie's side... making them Great-Great-Grannie-Grands.  :)Dad was as excited as I was about this!  These tiny cemeteries are so fascinating.  We actually drove by one just up the road that had about 12 graves in the middle of some crop.  Fascinating!  In Utah/Idaho, most cities have one cemetery and everyone's buried there.  Here, every family has their own.

 

I would have to say that the highlight of my day was visiting Aunt Hattie, one of my Granddaddy's sisters. I hope I look so great and am as sharp as she is at 82!  wow!  She'd barely changed since I was a little girl.  What a thrill to visit with her after all these decades.  Dad said, "Go ahead,  Ask her your questions."  And so I asked a few details on names and such, but then I asked her to just simply tell me about her parents (my great-grands).  Oh my gosh.  What a choice hour that was to learn the first and only things I have ever heard of my granddaddy's mother (who died when Dad was young) and more about my great grandfather than I'd ever known.  Two things that really stuck out in my mind.  1.  As children, Aunt Hattie said that they never ate a hot breakfast because her father would pray so long every morning in detail for the upcoming day of their lives. He was a minister. And 2...she said that her father "was a preacher, but Mama was the Saint" as she shared some tender thoughts about her mother.  Could this trip be any more wonderful?  Spending time with Dad and learning these things together?!?  WOW!

 

After our cemetery venture, we headed out for lunch... imagine... BBQ pork, coleslaw and hushpuppies!  I've decided that I'm going to stop on my way to the airport and get the biggest order I can to take home and let the family try them, plus I'm going to buy some mix to make at home.  Neither will be as good as these, but they'll get the idea.

 

Dad needed some rest in the afternoon, so after lunch, I took a drive myself.  I chatted with Denise on the phone for a bit (because we can't live without a daily visit regardless of where we are) and then just enjoyed driving on my own and revisiting my childhood.  It was pouring the rain, but I enjoy every drop!  The one thing I miss most in Utah is rain, so this weather is divine to me!  Everyone keeps apologizing for the rain.  I'm loving it!

 

Dad rents a room from his cousin's widow, Verdia.  She's an 82 year old wonderwoman/angel sent from above.  I adore her!  She takes such good care of Dad.  She's known Dad since he was a little boy and "mothers" him like Grannie did.  He looks up to her so much.  She has a daughter who's my age living next door and between the two of them,  I feel good knowing that Dad is in good hands.  Last night,  Verdia and Jean made a country dinner of fried chicken, rice in gravy, field peas and fried cornbread.  oh. My.  I'm certain to gain five pounds a day.  And then there is that late night piece of homemade pound cake. 

 

I've written before but I'll say it again... part of the reason that I didn't see my dad for all those years was that he was a convicted cocaine dealer.  He spent almost 14 years in prison.  Last night, for the first time, I asked him about it.  It was intriguiging to hear of his experiences, which I won't share here and now, but suffice it to say, it is a world in which I'd never even be able to imagine.  And then, the conversation led to regrets and repentance and forgiveness and the gospel.  We sat up late talking about it in detail.  I'd prayed for opportunities to discuss these things.  I will add that it was interesting to discuss my LDS faith with Aunt Verdi joining in with her Pentecostal Holiness beliefs. ;)

Here's a photo of Aunt Hattie.  Isn't she lovely!?  Being with her was like having a little time with Granddaddy!

 

It appears that my every prayer has been answered so far on this trip.  My anxiety about the flight, my worries about the family at home, my fears that Dad wouldn't be well enough to enjoy the time... it's all been so perfect.  As we were driving today, I reminded my dad once again that I don't care that he sold drugs, that he was an absent father, that he was a womanizer.  None of that matters to me.  He's my father and I love him.  It's not my place to judge him or carry ill feelings toward him.  He's never been anything but adoring and loving to me.  That's ALL that matters to me.  I love this whole experience!

 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,  or home, I should say, the kids are missing their mama.  No question.  I told them that they could call anytime and they have.  Morning, noon and night, which I believe has compensated greatly.  Liza called to share a huge decision that she's making.  Kelly called last night to inform me that she's going in at 6Am today for surgery.  Her surgery from three weeks ago has gone awry and she is having to have more surgery to fix the problems.  This will be more invasive than the last.  I'll be anxious to hear from her today.  BUT.  I will enjoy this last day with Dad and make every second count.  We've got plans to visit one more cemetery today, to revisit Grannie and Granddaddy's grave, to see and photograph that my great grandfather built with Granddaddy and his brothers and that Dad carried the bricks to them for as a little boy and then we're going out for dinner with my cousin, Kent and his family... seafood and I'm sure, some more hushpuppies.  I said it before I came, I'm glad to be here and have this experience but I also will be glad to get home tomorrow with my family.  Being away from each other makes us all appreciate eachother even more. Life is, oh, so good. 

Comments

[Grace Kelley Deese]

Words cant express what I feel right now!!! Thank you so much for coming!!!!

[Debbie Rensing]

Oh, Sophia! I loved reading all about your trip to see your Dad. What a gift! I am so glad that you have such a sweet and forgiving heart towards your dad, the comfort that will give you in the years to follow will warm your heart.

My man was in your neck of the woods this week, picked him up from Dallas/Fort Worth airport last night. He was in and around SLC working on Life flight helicopters. He took lots of photos of the mountains covered with snow! Loved looking through them!

Have a safe trip home!!

[Pamela K.]

I am so glad that everything is going so well for you on your visit, Sophia. I'm sure since you have spoken to your dad about so many things, he is/will be feeling more at peace. God is so good!

I believe those plants are wisteria. They were everywhere in Atlanta when we went down there to visit my SIL. I'm sure you have at least a dozen recipes for hush puppies, but I'll email you one more from one of my "Southern Living" cookbooks.

[Gayle]

So much fun again to read of your days! What peace you have given your Father. Does he ever hear from your brother? Travel safely. The family will be so grateful to have you back in the fold. Does Kelly's employer support her in this trial? It is good to be reminded of how valuable we are as Mothers'!.

[USE]

I'm so glad that your trip is going so well! You sound happy and good. Blessings! Marilyn

[Jenny N.]

Those beautiful purple flowers are called Wisteria. We have them here in Texas a lot and they are in full bloom right now. My mom had a small bush at the house I grew up in.

I am really enjoying reading about your visit with your Dad. I can literally hear the joy in your voice through reading your blog. Enjoy this last day with your family.