Soapbox time... Say so. What's it going to hurt?

Previously posted in August 2007
 

I've mentioned before my sister-in-law's beautiful garden. There is only one word to describe it and that word is inspirational.  I never leave her garden that I don't feel inspired by her amazing green thumb, motivated to do something more in my own garden or without thinking of this beautiful world we are blessed to live in.

My friend, Sally, who is a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has been blessed with the most amazing, beautiful voice. Last year, Sally sang simple Primary Children's song called, "As I have loved you, love one another" in my kitchen with our little lunch bunch. We were all in tears before she was done.  She's truly gifted.

Another friend, Linda, has a knack for decorating and she has the means to enjoy her expensive talent!  Our tastes are quite similar, which makes her gift even more appealing to me. Linda always motivates me to rearrange a room in my home, to relocate my "what-nots", as Grannie always called them or to be more creative. Linda has passed this talent on to her two beautiful daughters, as well, and is generous to a fault in sharing with others.

Of these three friends, I can look at each one and say that when God was handing out talents, someone jiggled his elbow because they've each been blessed abundantly.

Recently, a friend shared one of their "talents" with another friend. Rather than the other friend saying, "WOW!", they said something like, "Oh, I can't do anything like that...Now, I'm depressed because mine's not this good...How would it be?"  There came no praise or enthusiasm, only a little self-loathing.  As I heard this story, I became really, really bothered. I'm stepping up on my soapbox.  Can you feel it coming? 

I believe that withholding praise is a cardinal sin in relationships that we commit against ourselves.  I remember reading once, years ago, that to withhold praise is cheating the person deserving of the praise, but that even more so, it is cheating yourself of an opportunity to serve.   How great does it feel to know that we are helping someone else feel good?!  Visiting Linda's home without oohing and aahing over her latest decorating spree...walking through Barbie's garden without expressing gratitude for her ability to create something beautiful or delectable... feeling those warm goosebumps up and down my spine when Sally sings and not expressing appreciation for the experience would be to self-depriving.  I believe this with all my heart!  When someone does well, say so!  When someone succeeds, congratulate them! When someone looks great, tell them!  It makes their day and you feel better too for having done so.

There's a gal in my ward who I think has the "it factor". She wears just the right shoes with just the right outfit and just the right jewelry all the time.  Her hair is always done in some fun style.  She's bubbly and has a great body and is as cute as can be.  Would I love to dress like her?  Absolutely!  Would I love her hair?  I'd give up my iPod for it!  Would I love her fun personality?  OH, YES!  She's adorable and from my perspective, everyone loves her to death!  I have to admit that when I see her, there's always this little twinge of "How would it be?!" but and it's a BIG BUT... BUT, I decided long ago to embrace her "awesomeness" and become friends rather than sit off in the distance "wishing" to be more like her or resenting her "it factor".  And from that embracing, we've become friends, so I get the benefit of being around her even more.  I realized years ago that sitting in the corner and being jealous or resentful that she (in this case, but it could be any other scenario) had it all would do me no good whatsoever. 

Bottom line...When someone has been blessed with a talent you may be missing, embrace it and enjoy their gifts!  It's painless. And it's soooo beneficial!  Regardless of the tangible rewards, it is those little "attaboys" that are remembered and can make the difference. Think of how great it felt the last time someone told you what a great job you'd done on something!  Enough said.  Stepping down now.

We increase whatever we praise.  

Comments

[Pamela K.]

Amen, Sista! :-)