let me introduce you...or NOT

This morning, I took 239 pictures of Miki...her 18 month pictures.  She was so sober, but we managed to get some very cute shots.  Here's a few of my favorites.

 
 
 

And tonight, I'm just thinking out loud with my fingertips, about friends... 

Today, I was visiting with a friend about friends. This friend is much more reserved than I, but a loyal and true friend.  It was an interesting conversation. She said that she'd never had many close friends at one time.  I have been so so blessed with many friends.  Sometimes, it's difficult to include everyone in the things that I want to do and that leads to hurt feelings.  My home is only so big.  My table seats twelve.  That's generally the number that I stick with when I do things indoors.  It's tight, but, it works.  

Years ago, Doug and I would host a large Halloween costume party every fall.  We had space in our family room for 28 couples.  (The room was the front half of our home in the basement.  PERFECT!  Smallest house we ever lived in but that room made up for the other tiny spaces!)  One summer, a neighbor was passing by while I sat on the front porch.  He stopped and said, boldly, "So, what does a person have to do to get invited to your Halloween Party?" Pretty bold on his part, but it was effective... I felt squirrelly because we'd never even considered he and his wife as guests.  That year, Doug and I decided to invite people who generally didn't get invited to gatherings, as well as our closer friends.  Oh. My. Heck.  It was the most quiet calm party we ever had.  The "wallflowers" were so quiet and reserved that the closer circle of friends were even quiet.  Lesson learned. 

Some groups blend really well and others don't.  For that reason, I don't mix friends.  Never.  When I turned 40, a few friends threw a surprise birthday party for me.  It was really thoughtful.   Carol and I were supposedly going to lunch at Cafe Sabor.  On the way there, I said, "I'm not really in a Sabor mood today.  Do you want to go someplace else?"  She calmly said, "Well, it's your birthday.  We can go wherever you would like."   Knowing me, and that that I am usually easy and roll with whatever Carol suggests, she remained calm, knowing that we'd still be heading to Sabors because that's where she would say she wanted to go.  (Me, I'd have been freaking out!)

We walked into Sabor's and there were fourteen of my closest friends.  Surprise!  And was I ever!  It was a lovely lunch, but I've never felt so divided in my lifetime.  Who to talk with?  Which conversation to listen to?  All of the friends that I was closest too...all from different circles of mine...all together... all at once.  They all know eachother through me.  Most of them would stop and chat for a minute in the store if they ran into each other.  But, I was the common thread.  YIKES!  Today, most of my friend know that my little rule is "No mixing friends!"

In the past year, with the changes in our church and school boundaries, there are the "old friends" and there's the "new friends" and there's the gals who know each other from both.  Also, friends who are moms with kids the same ages of my babes and friends who are moms/now grandmas, with kids the same ages as my bigs. 

When I want to have a gathering, my biggest concern is never what to serve or how to decorate, it's always Who to invite!?  A really simple solution would be to build a very large room on the back of our home because I would love to invite everyone!  However, that solution doesn't fit in our budget.  And from experiences past, I'd probably still keep things smaller and more intimate.

I'm rambling tonight, but this has been on my mind all day.  In all humility, I do feel so blessed to have so many friends.  I hate excluding anyone.  The holidays are coming.  Entertaining is already on my mind and who to invite when.  However... my biggest concern and goal really is how to be a great friend in return to each of them every day, regardless of who's on which guest list, right?!  That's what really matters.  Maybe, I will just have to have a few extra get-togethers!  Enough said. 

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have,
and one of the best things you can be.

Comments

[Holly F.]

Gotta agree with you here. I've had that situation and you spend so much time trying to make people feel comfortable that I never get to just enjoy myself. I don't like feeling like I have to carry the conversation. On the flip side, I absolutely hate to go to bridal showers, baby showers, etc. for that same reason. I'm not super outgoing and it always seems to be just me (as the only friend of whoever the party is for) and all the relatives. Awkward!

[audra]

I was wondering the other day how u divided time among your friends. That was a very informative post... am facing the delima of having a party for my 4oth birthday. My mother-in-law, so graciously said she would have a lunch or dinner at her house for me. I don't feel comfortable with that....she has so many nick knacks etc...and I want people to be comfortable. But even though I have some acquaintances, that I would like to invite, where ever it ends up being, I'm afraid no one will show up. At my baby showers this year, aside from the hostesses and relatives, only a couple and I mean 2 or 3 showed up. What does that say about me? There were lots of invitations that went out. Maybe I shouldn't have a party after all...

[JaYne]

Who to invite? It is a horrible problem to have when you are blessed with so many friends. I've found I just enjoy my friends in different situations. Some aren't "party" people, some aren't "movie" people, and some sure don't get my "crafty" side. But all of them are blessings!