Not many people really knew that I've been gone, but I have. For a while. Not physically. I've been here. But emotionally, I checked out a while ago. I had two different situations that hurt me deeply some months ago and as a result, I withdrew in a way that, even I didn't realize until recently. I've had several emails asking me why I wasn't partying and hosting the way that I have in the past several years and really, I had no answer. Over the past few months, I've really been doing some self-examination and realized what the problem was, only weeks ago. And I feel like, now that I have some answers, I am becoming more of myself again. And it feels good. Very good. And...
My brain is just going a hundred miles an hour planning and dreaming up all sorts of fun again! I'm back! Happiness!
I'd mentioned that Quayd has really been wishing for a neighborhood swim party this summer. Last summer, we had several. This year, none. Until tonight. And it was so much fun! This afternoon, we decided to go for it, called several families and said, "Bring your own meat to grill, something to share, your lawn chairs and kids towels. We didn't mow the lawn, didn't clean a window...I made a huge potato salad and a few hours later, we had 43 people in the back yard. Everyone brought their good stuff and we played and laughed and gabbed and had a great end of summer Family Home Evening neighborhood barbecue. I gave a short message while the kids rested at the edge of the pool and some on the tramp and some on the swings... totally casual and it was an awesome evening getting to know our neighbors from "the new ward" better. For Doug and I, the "new ward" is just plain "our ward". We're settled and happy. It's a good thing.
This morning, I was able to finish up most of the school shopping (with the exception of three size exchanges and shoes). Carol, her two daughters and I went to Village Inn for breakfast and gabbed a couple of hours. I heard Carol's tales of Josh Groban's concert last weekend, teased with the girls and just enjoyed our time together. I came home and made the invitation phone calls for tonight, then went visiting teaching before setting up the party. It's been a productive day!
Then after all the guests had left, Gracie vacuumed the gazillion flies that had found their way to my kitchen ceiling. If you know me at all, you know that my germophobia rears it's ugly head the most when there is a fly anywhere nearby. There were a gazillion!! Gone now, thank you, Gracie! My vacuum my fly away in the night, but they won't be in my house. Tomorrow morning, I'll re-sanitize the ceiling and walls! Eewwww!
After Doug and the babes went to bed, I came in to blog and Liza sent me several photos by text. She was arranging things on her wall and wanted my opinion. It was another reality check that we aren't just minutes away from each other but how awesome is technology that she could rearrange, take a picture and show me in seconds. Yagottaluv that!
Annnywhoooooo, as Carol would say, Life is good. I'm so happy to feel more and more like myself again. I have this quote that I repeat often, "It is a fool who takes offense when none is intended and a bigger fool who takes offense when it is." I try really hard to live by that. These two situations got the best of me for a while. But, I'm moving forward. And it feels good to let it go and move ahead. I guess another thing to remind myself is that if you can't forget, at least, forgive and move on. I'm moving! Besides, holding on hurts me the most, right?
Oh. Speaking of moving... there's an offer already on the house that I was hoping to check out today. I may still get to see it again tomorrow, but if it's under contract, it will be just for fun. Doug and I were talking before he went to bed. We love our humble abode. We love to share what we do have with others... the yard, the pool, good food, good laughs, but mostly, the good spirit that we try to have in our home. That, we can have wherever we live. Enough said.
It is our choices … that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
Love the quote, glad you're back!
Posted by: JaYne | Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 05:15 PM
I think of you often. I love you so much. I hope I can find myself again- This year has been more than I can even face between Cooper's accident, my dad and my grandpa. WE always make it through, right? Love you lots!
Posted by: Katie | Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 04:03 PM
you know you are amazing, right?
Posted by: susan | Tuesday, August 16, 2011 at 04:43 AM
Oh Sophie, You have been on my mind. I was taught to pray for the person that comes to mind. I am in our camper for the summer and the connection is sporadic. I could sense that you were stressed the last I read your blog. I kept thinking about you and I prayed for you and yours. In Jeremiah chapter 29 verse 11 you will find the promise of hope you have. Patty N
Posted by: Patty Norton | Monday, August 15, 2011 at 11:54 PM