I will acknowledge that the following entry is a little "preachy". I can not apologize, however, because my heart is so full of thanks and gratitude this day.
For Family Home Evening last night, we talked about one of my favorite things ~"tender mercies". I love this verse from the Book of Mormon. "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." (1 Nephi 1:20)
Over the weekend, Grace commented, referring to Zaylee being gone, ZJ being so sick, her finger recovering slowly and a few other things, "This is the worst week of our life, Mom!" Knowing that all three of the babes have been worried sick over Zaylee and we've all been concerned about ZJ, it was time for a little reminder of this important principle of life.
I explained that a tender mercy could be something huge, like Kevin calling to let us know how Zaylee is, to something as simple as the box of chocolates delivered by a friend this past weekend. Tender mercies are those little happenings in our lives that reconfirm that we do have a Father in Heaven who is very aware of who we are and of our needs, even when they are sometimes small and trivial. Tender mercies confirm to us that He is there! I asked the kids for some examples of tender mercies in our lives. I was touched by how quickly they all came up with answer from the present to years in our past. Of course, the first was our family adoption. But, they were thoughtful in remembering how Go-Go came to our family immediately after Fancy was put down, how sometimes things just work out perfectly when by all rights and means, they shouldn't, how we receive love and kindness when we least expect it. I was happy for their recognition of the many tender mercies in our every day lives.
And then, we discussed what "being mighty" means. "Being mighty means being Strong", ZJ confirmed. And one interpretation of "being mighty unto the power of deliverance", simply stated is that we must have faith, even in the toughest of times. When life gets tough, we must be mighty unto deliverance. Our faith must be stronger. Our actions and our faith must be "mighty". Rather than whine, "Why me?", we need to ask, "What is it that I am supposed to learn from this experience?" And then... and only then, in Sophia's strong and firm belief, do we grow and gain from our challenges. Lastly, I shared that throughout this past week, I've had, in the back of my head almost constantly, "Know this, that all these things shall give the experience and be for thy good." Because it's true!
That was our lesson/discussion with the kids. They got it. Their prayers last night were as tender as could ever be...giving thanks that Kevin's heart was softened, that he called us, that we were able to speak with Zaylee, for Kelly's well-being and then for others... for Taylor's surgery today, for my stomach (which has been a wreck since the word that Zaylee was gone) and for ZJ's recovery. They got it. We all have our challenges and trials...and rather than complain and whine, we need to be thankful for opportunities to grow. And boy! Has this week ever given us ample opportunity!
With that in mind... here's the lastest at the Corbridge...no whining. No complaining. Just facts.
Zaylee. Kevin called. The second that I heard his voice, I started to sob, thanking him for calling, rather than screaming, "YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?" Those thoughts have crossed my mind, but again, after much prayer and thought, I know that this would have been wrong. And I was sincerely grateful. They are in Arkansas, living with his birth father and family. Zaylee is doing well. He was calling from outside on the lawn, where Zaylee was riding her bike with her "new" cousin. Zaylee talked with me a few times during the call and was able to talk to her very best friend in the world, ZJ. This was great for both of them. She sounded great, and, after our hour long conversation, Kevin immediately took a photo of Zaylee in the new swimsuit that he'd bought her and texted it to me.
Kevin explained his reasons for leaving. I can not go into detail, because the details are not mine to share. However. Kevin is within his legal rights to have done this. Although I'm not one teeny tiny bit happy that Zaylee is 2000 miles away from us, for now, this is how it is and Doug and I will have to be patient with the situation. Kevin assured me that we will be able to speak with any time that we want. He gave me a landline, his cell number, as well as their address. He was very emotional and apologized profusely about taking her from us. I don't think that he'd realized the impact that this would have on the babes. It was a positive and straightforward conversation. For now, we will accept the situation as it is. He texted me a few times later in the day. That's all that I can say for now. We would appreciate your continued prayers in Zaylee's behalf. I felt a peace that I've not felt for a week, knowing for certain where she is. I do have to say this and I'd be lying if I didn't. I hate this. BUT. It is what it is. Now, it's time to "be mighty".
ZJ. After almost 16 hours on Saturday and Sunday in the ER...after bloodwork, X-rays, ultrasound, several IVs for rehydration and pain, we still have no clue what is wrong with Zeej. Monday was her best day in almost a week. We were sent home, quite frustrated, I might add, with a "colonoscopy prep" drink to "flush any possible virus through her". She didn't mind the taste of the nasty lemon drink, but, as for it making a difference... not so much. She will be seeing a surgeon on Wednesday. The ER doctor's bottom line, "Take her home, bring her back again if it gets worse, and eventually, we'll go ahead and remove the appendix. But, for now, she looks too good on paper to do anything." Seriously? An eleven year old child, curled up in a ball, sobbing with pain at a "9-10" on the pain chart for five days and that's all ya got? I wasn't amused. BUT. Again. It's time to "be mighty".
Doug gave ZJ a beautiful father's blessing and in the blessing, he said, "We're given pain to appreciate the perfect body that Heavenly Father has created for us." Boy, is that the truth! It's so easy to appreciate our health when we don't have it!
Mom. Help me. ;) I can't even go there, but suffice it to say that I never anticipated at age 53, I'd be worrying about my mother, her dog and her manfriend!
Rick. My brother cracks me up. Totally. He invited himself over, with a pizza, to spend the day yesterday. I was not alone for one minute all day long. It was fine. ZJ was lying on the couch. I caught up on seven loads of laundry since I've been a little preoccupied. (The laundry truly brought home the realization that Zaylee is gone more than anything else has, as her little socks and clothes would come through. I will be sending her clothes to Kevin today. Ouch.) So, Rick and I watched Mamma Mia, which he'd never even heard of. Big, burly, rough and tough Rick likes ABBA and he laughed out loud through the whole movie. I thought that Rick living up the street with Mom would be a nightmare. I'm enjoying him. He's loud. He's obnoxious. He's crude. But, he's very entertaining and he becomes an instant teddy bear around the kids. He's really trying to be a good uncle, bring treats and snacks and, very much, respecting our "house rules". ZJ said, "Uncle Rick makes me laugh, Mom." Me, too, Zeej. Me too. Rick loves to "escape" to our house for a break from Mom and Boyd. My favorite thing is listening to his whispered messages on my iPhone, "Help me. Save me. You neeeeeeeed me to come down right now."
Dad. During all of the other "drama", for lack of a better word, my dad had to have two stints put into his heart. He's doing much better. He's been worried sick about Zaylee and Zeej, calling a few times a day. Who'd have ever guessed, after 35 years of living without my family in my life directly, that they'd all be right here all the time, even if only by phone. Again. No complaints. Just fact.
There are several other things happening in our world right now, as well. But, I've share more than enough for one day. I admit, it has been one of those weeks that I've struggled with being the open book that I am. I've not wanted to sound like a whiner or a martyr. While I was in church on Sunday, I looked at another sister in our ward and my heart ached for her. Her trials made mine seem almost insignificant. That was, again, a tender mercy for me...the reminder that no matter how tough things seem, someone else always has it tougher!
I've appreciated every single good thought, phone call, text, email and visit over the past week. I've barely had a moment alone since Zaylee left and that, too, has probably been a tremendous blessing to us. I'm grateful for the love and support that we feel when it is time to "be mighty".
If I could share one lesson learned this week, it would be this message. Trials and struggles are the only good time to ask, "What's in it for me?" Because with every fiber of my being, I believe that, like it or not, the tougher the challenge, the bigger the lesson is in it for each of us. Enough said.
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries
with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.