Sentiments by Sophia

ten things on a happy thursday

1.   During dinner last night, I received a photo by text and a few minutes later, a call from Zaylee!!  It made my day!  She talked with the kids and Doug, as well.  She said that they have a baby raccoon and she's learning to skateboard.  WHAT? She asked us all to come to her new house, which is heartbreaking, but, it does mean that she's thinking of us.

2.  Doug calls every day on his way home from work to say that he's on his way and to ask if there's anything that I need at the grocery store.  Last night, as we were hanging up, he said, "I love you, Babe."  I said, "I love you more."  I do that with the kids all the time but I've never said it to him, so he was a bit taken back.  He stopped for a few minutes and finally responded, "Oh yeh.  Well, I love you more morefullyness."  I do love that man.

3.  Today's the last full day of school.  All three of them have huge activities and fun.  Tomorrow, just a short short day, long enough for yearbook signing.  And let the summer begin!!!

4.  Yesterday, Natalie and I did our errand running together then had lunch at Chili's.  No sooner than we'd sat down, Kevin, one of the managers came out and said, "Sophia!  Lookie, Lookie!  I brought you a cookie!" and he served us the best brownies as an appetizer!  It was a simple looking recipe... Brownie, layered with marshmallow cream, covered with broken, not crushed graham crackers and then topped with broken pieces of hershey bars.  OH MY HECK!  I've never been a marshmallow fan and will eat maybe one S'more a summer.  BUT, this was gooo0-oooooD stuff!!!

5.  Today, I'm picking Taylor up from school, her last day and then we'll spend the afternoon together...a little vampire time...before my kids come home.  I've missed her!  Tonight is ZJ's late night at the school.  Doug is chaperoning.  ZJ attends a school that is 100 years old this year.  This latenight event is a tradition for the graduating students. They get to go up on the roof of the school, as well as down into "the dungeons", which never get to be entered by students except at this one event each year... a rite of passage.  She can't wait!!!

6.  We're waiting till this afternoon to find out if Doug has to work this weekend or not.  If not, we're thinking of a fun "Way to start the summer" activity.  More on that later!

7.  Liza began her new job at the new branch this week.  On her first day, Tuesday, she called me as soon as she got home.  She said, "Hiiiiiiiii!  I'm hommmmmme!  I clocked out exactly five minutes ago and I'm standing in my living room!"  This is huge for her, after a year of riding the bus and light rail for two and a half hours after work every day that Buddy worked or had late classes.  ZJ made a comment yesterday morning... "Mom, Liza and Buddy sure are having lots of blessings in their life right now, aren't they?  Why do you think that they are?"  Without a thought, I was able to respond, "Because Liza and Buddy are making so many good choices and doing so much good in their lives, they are definitely being blessed."  She agreed.

 8.  As I've mentioned, for the past few weeks, my escape from reality has been Vampire Diaries on DVD.  This is so not anything that I'd ever indulge in.  EVER.  I'm not a sci-fi or fantasy fan.  Never have been.  And this show is simply sick and wrong.  But, it's definitely taken my mind off of reality.  After watching a few episodes, I went into the bathroom.  It was broad daylight.  As I came out of the bathroom, I opened the door and Doug was standing there in the doorway, in a statuesque pose, looking down at me as though he was "compelling" me, like the vampires do.  I didn't expect him to be standing there and I about jumped out of my skin.   He's still laughing.  

9.  Two words.  S'more brownies.  Okay.  Three words.  Seriously!

1o.  Life is good.  

 Think happy.  BE happy!

the truth is...

Since I've been asked many times...and most of the time, I just don't want to go there.  An answer...

Tuesday was a good day.  A really good day.  A much needed good day.  Not that I did anything wonderful or amazing.  I spent the day alone.  I got the truck inspected and registered, grabbed Costa Vida for lunch all by my lonesome, came home and ate it while I did laundry.  We had mustgoes for dinner and I treated ZJ with an A&W Rootbeer Float after dropping Quayd and Grace off at the church for their youth activities.  A good family friend dropped by for a short visit with Doug and I and then we called it a night. That was the whole day.  Absolutely nothing exciting, new or wonderful.  

BUT.  Yesterday didn't hurt quite as much as most days have for the past month.  It was four weeks since Kevin took our sweet Zaylee away.  And honestly, even though we are going through the motions of every day life, it's been the hardest four weeks of our lives.  We smile.  We carry on.  But, it's felt like a death has taken place in our family.  We are all, literally,  in mourning.  Zaylee is everywhere in our home.  Something as simple as seeing a bowl in the cupboard.  It hurts.  And there's nothing we can do about it.  Nothing, but pray for her well-being.  We miss her immensely.  All of us have had dreams about her.  We speak of her often.  But, there's nothing that we can do.  I've never felt so incapacitated in my life.  Someone said yesterday, "I can't even imagine what you are going through."  My response, "It is unimaginable."  

I remember, several years ago, an old neighbor of ours lost their toddler child in an accident.  After the funeral, the mother went home and removed every single reminder that the child had ever existed...from photos to clothing to toys to furniture.  Everything.  For all of these years, I've questioned the mother's actions, wondering, "How does a mother do that?"  I have a little more insight her actions today.  The little reminders sting and bring the memories front and center and they hurt.  I understand that mother's actions a little more than I ever thought I would. (There's a lesson there on judging, isn't there?)  Aside from photos, I continue to put away Zaylee's things as they appear...dishes, a pair of pajamas that were mixed in with some bedding, toys that keep surfacing.  It makes it easier.  I smile when I see her pictures throughout the house and celebrate and cherish each and every experience we had with her.  And at this point, I just look forward to and hope for more.  And the sooner the better.

Yesterday, Zaylee was not my every other thought.  A few other thoughts happened in between my Zaylee thoughts.  This is a good sign.  Seriously, I'm not whining or complaining.  It is what it is and we're dealing with it as best we can.  Summer vacation begins Friday.  This will be good.  I want to keep us all busy and active so that we can continue to move forward.   It's all we can do.  But.  We miss her so.

So this morning, carrying on...a few high hopes and fun things I'm looking forward to this summer...

• The Corbridge Reunion
•  Time in the pool with the kids
• A great tan
• Shrinking another size before I buy new fall jeans
• time in the trailer
• fresh peaches and cherries right out of our back yard
• walking 300 miles
• fresh tomato, basil and balsamic vinegar sandwiches
• a few thunderstorms
• three day weekends with Doug
• picnics and cookouts with the Bs
• a few TV guilty pleasures
• a new laundryroom
• trips to the ranch
• a backyard Corbridge reunion
• 4th of July fireworks
• sleeping in until 8!
• movie marathons
• watermelon with sprite
• reading in the sunshine
• tomato and cucumber salad
• cards with my girls

Life is good.  My favorite quote... reminding myself today...

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be perfectly wonderful.

short and sweet

This will go down as the most tame Memorial Weekend in our history!  Asidde from attending church, we didn't do a thing all weekend long!  Doug worked hard Friday and Saturday, over 12 hours each shift.  We totally chilled the rest of the weekend... didn't even do any yard work.  We avoided drama, played with the kids, grilled steaks for Memorial Day dinner and took it completely easy. And it was all good.  

Here's a few short ramblings and I'm off for the day...

• It's the last week of school.  The kids go all week and have a short day on Friday.  The end.  Bring on the summer! 
• Seriously, try the recipes I posted yesterday!  WOW!  That cake was delish!  I'm anxious to try the same cake with fresh peaches in August!
• This morning I "get to" go to town and get the Explorer inspected and registered.  That deserves a reward, doesn't it?
• Goal for the week:  Update the cooking blog.  I know...it's about time.

A good friend is cheaper than therapy.

memorial day

Here's two recipes we've tried and loved this holiday weekend.  Happy Memorial Day!

Strawberry-Yogurt Bundt Cake.  

Another recipe found on Pinterest. This was our Sunday night treat and seriously, you need to try this recipe!  It was divine!!!!  The only thing I'd change is make a little less glaze.  It doesn't need that much, but the lemon is a perfect touch to this cake!  It was so dang moist!  love it!

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

2 cups sugar

3 eggs

3 Tb. lemon juice, divided

zest of 1 lemon

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, divided

½ tsp. baking soda

½ tsp. salt

8 oz. plain or vanilla, Greek yogurt

12 oz. fresh strawberries, diced

1 cup powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 325*. Grease and flour a 10 inch Bundt pan. Sift together the 2 ¼ cups of flour, baking soda and salt. Mix in the lemon zest and set aside. In a separate bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in 1 Tbsp. lemon juice. Alternate add the flour mixture and the yogurt, until just mixed. Toss the strawberries in the remaining ¼ cup of flour. Gently mix them into the batter.  Pour the batter into the Bundt pan. Bake 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Allow to cool at least 20 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Once cooled whisk together the remaining 2 Tb. of lemon juice and the powdered sugar. Drizzle over the top of the cake.  Enjoy!

I also found this recipe this weekend and made some rice pudding for the kids. They'd never tried "the real thing" before and they loved it.  I've always liked it but not loved it. This recipe, I loved!  It's a perfect way to use your leftover rice.  I found the recipe, where else, but it on Pinterest through The Hungry Housewife. Although, here's my version because I made a few adjustments to suit our tastes.

 4 cups leftover rice

    6 cups milk

1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp salt

1 Tbsp vanilla

1 cup craisins

1/2 cup coconut

1 tsp. cinnamon

All add ingredients to the cooked rice in a large saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring frequently and at the end, constantly.  I stirred this for, literally 45 minutes.  It took that long to bring it to a boil because the milk and rice were ice cold.  I boiled it for about ten minutes stirring constantly. Once most of the milk is absorbed, remove from heat. Serve hot or cold!   We served it hot vanilla with ice cream.  (Corbridge Rule:  Breakfast is always better with ice cream.)  The kids were in heaven and then ate the leftovers for dessert later that night.

Have a wonderful holiday!

The greatest glory of a free-born people is
to transport that freedom to their children.

calm

Sometimes God calms the storm...
sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.

pray

good stuff!

A few random happy thoughts on a busy Friday morning....

Here's my brother Rick tasting his first strawberry ever in his life.  My mother raised us so abnormally, where eating is concerned.  She never made us try things like most moms.  Instead she would say, "You won't like that."  S0, when I got married, I'd never tasted any veggie, other than corn, canned peas and green beans.  Never tasted spinach, broccoli, squash, none of the good stuff.  Fortunately, I married Granolaman and I have learned to try everything!  And I love most everything! (except mustard and olives!)

 Rick lives on beef and chicken and dumplings.  When he comes to my house, he never wants to eat anything because he's afraid that I may put an onion or a spice in it.  I remind him that there are spices in lasagna but he tells me that he chooses to block those thoughts out of his mind.  Last night, I made homemade tortillas/burritos and strawberry shortcake and the girls convinced him to stay for dinner because he could make his own burrito...meat and cheese.  No homemade salsa for him, but, hey.  He tried the strawberries.  And get this.  He didn't like them.  Earlier, while I was cooking, he took a backyard tour with ZJ and Doug of our garden and fruit trees, watching Doug and Zeej as they showed him which weeds are even edible.   ZJ got him to commit to try every fruit in our yard but a pear this summer.  SHOCKER!  But, then he would do anything for my kids.  Seriously, though, how can anyone not love strawberry shortcake? 

Here's a sweet moment... Quayd and Grace checking out something on his iTouch last Sunday morning.  Doug came into the gallery and said, "Babe, grab your camera."  I snapped a few pix of them before they even knew it but this was my favorite.  Doug commented on how Quayd and Grace have always had a special bond.  They are so close in age (15 months apart) and when they were toddlers,  before they came to live with us permanently, they pretty much had to fend for themselves, so they stuck together.  And they still do, for the most part.  This isn't to say that they don't get on each other's nerves and drive each other crazy on some days, but for the most part, they are two peas in a pod.  I heart my kids.

Here's Zeej, who's the little fashionista...always concocting something new and different to do with her clothes or her hair.  She told me last night that she's not one of the "popular" girls or one of the "mean" girls at school.  She's just one of the weird ones, but that her teacher calls her one of the "unique" ones.  I told her, "I hope you stay unique, Zeej.  Being popular really isn't that cool and the older you get, the more you'll realize it.  Be true to you , not the crowd!"

And this was one of my favorite things of the day.  The doorbell rang last night.  It was our friends, Dave and Christie.  They are an awesome and fun couple who live in our ward.  Christie is one of those ubbertalented women and Dave is totally cool.  He's the same Dave that helped with our roof last month.  He rocks.  He's also the Ward Mission Leader, who'd set up the dinner appointment for the missionaries with our family.  They dropped by with this little gift, which Christie said that Dave made the little card, wrapped the gift and everything all by himself.  I was so completely impressed and totally touched that a man would be so thoughtful!  Is that awesome or what!?  And the gift, after you read the card, made me laugh... if was filled with Scentinel Scent Cubes for my burner and two yummy lip balms.  All men should be as thoughtful as Dave!  I love this couple!

I didn't mention it yesterday because I didn't want to be a spoiler.  But, I am thrilled for Phillip Phillips, our new American Idol.  I was absolutely bawling as he choked up while singing his victory song and walked down to embrace his family.  Like I told the kids, he could have been up there saying, "Look at me!  I WON!!!" but instead, he stepped off that stage for a group family hug and tears. "  I wish his a huge success and can't wait to buy his first album!

Another favorite thing about the day was hanging out with Natalie.  We did some shopping and went to a new place in town called "Herms" for brunch.  It's a 60s-ish type restaurant and was packed the entire time.  Great food.  Not a place for a quiet private little date but a fun lunch.  I digress... Nat was showing me the progress she's making on her home makeover projects when I saw her newest find, this iron sign, and said, "WHERE did you get that!?   I need, I need!"  So, we ran back into town to Hobby Lobby and picked one up for me!  I thought it was fitting.  (hee-hee)  And like Nat said, "It's really a good reminder."  LOVE IT!

This morning, we're heading to see ZJ's History Fair.  She chose Laura Ingalls Wilder as her person of interest.  She's done a great job preparing for the presentation, has her little costume and is excited for the fair.  I'm excited because this will be the last official time that I, as a mom, ever have to attend at the Elementary School!  Second time around, done with this phase of life again.  Now for the hard years...three kids in middle school and high school for the next seven years!  My knees will be worn out from praying them through it!

Memorial Day Weekend!  The funace is running.  I may even make soup for dinner.  It's cool and rainy until Monday.  The garden is in, so it can soak up the moisture and grow, grow, grow!  Doug's off for a few days.  No solid plans at all other than to enjoy being home together.  Life IS good!

"Don't give up. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." ~Jeffrey R. Holland

 

 

lemons to lemonade...

ZJ and I had such a fun day date!  We did a little shopping, went to Elements for lettuce wraps, then to the movies to see Mirror, Mirror and did some grocery shopping on the way home.  I loved our time together and she must have said "Thank you, Mom!" a gazillion times!

Once home, we raced around the kitchen like crazy to get dinner done by 5:00 because the missionaries were coming.  Having the missionaries is a big thing when you live in Utah.  There are a gazillion members of the LDS Church, most of them have family members (sons, grandsons, nieces and nephews or even parents) serving LDS missions all around the world.  I like to think that when we are feeding the missionaries that someone is serving my nephew Dillon a good hot meal in Florida at the same time.  

When you live outside of Utah, there are often six or eight missionaries serving in one ward.  Here in Utah, there are only two missionaries serving in sometimes 20-30 wards.  So, outside of Utah, there's plenty of opportunity to feed the missionaries dinner and have your kids have an experience with them.  Here, in Utah, each ward gets assigned about two weeks a year to feed them.  That's ten opportunities a year divided by 50 -75 families.  So, my point is, that we get excited at the opportunity!

And so... I digress.   We hurried home and made ZJ's choice of dinner, Hawaiian Haystacks, Homemade Rolls and Fizookies (chocolate chip cookie bars with ice cream, hot fudge and hot caramel over them).  Gracie helped with the cooking, Quayd vaccummed and did a few little "company clean" jobs.   ZJ set the table all pretty and made a sweet little card to greet them.   While preparing dinner, I had each of the babes think of three questions to ask the missionaries during dinner for our Table Talk. 

Everyone was gathered at the table and and waiting at 5:00. 5:05.  5:15. At 5:30, Doug called the Ward Mission Leader (who arranged the dinner appointments and then lets the missionaries know where they have dinner that night.)  He said that he'd get right back to us.  A few minutes later, Dave called to say that he had gotten a text from the Elders, saying that they had had transfers (when missionaries move to different areas of the mission... an all day ordeal) and that they would still be free for dinner at 8:00PM.  Sorry Elders.  Dinner is on the table now and Doug's in bed at 8PM.  So. No missionaries after all.

The kids were very disappointed.  Quayd was even a little annoyed.  We had a conversation with them about the fact that although they are set apart and ordained as ministers of God, they are still 19-21 year old boys and they are human.  People forget, especially on a day like transfer day when they are saying goodbye to old friends and meeting new people, moving, getting a new companion.  They had a lot on their plate that day.  The kids were quickly forgiving.

So, during dinner, I asked the kids what their questions were for the Elders.  This turned into quite the fun little dinner, which Quayd referred to as a Wednesday night Family Home Evening.  I had to jot down some of the questions and comments.  Before it was over, they were asking Doug the questions about his mission, as though he were the missionaries and then... before long, Quayd started answering the questions, as though he were were the missionary.  We had a some serious conversation and some more humorous discussions, as well.  Definitely memorable.  Here are what were our topics of discussion.

Quayd's questions were:What's your favorite hymn and why?  (I thought that was interesting for a 14 year old boy to come up with.)  

1. Were you an Eagle Scout? (This led to much discussion about Doug being raised on the ranch and working from the time he was 6 years old until he left for his mission, leaving little time for scouting and campouts.)
2. How many baptisms have you had so far?  (When Doug answered this question, we talked about each of their baptisms, which was fun.  Also, Doug remembered a few people he'd taught in Florida on his mission in 1974- 76.)

Grace's questions:  

1. What's your favorite scripture? (I didn't know what Doug's answer to this question would be, which led to an interesting conversation  about obedience.)
2. What temple do you want to be married in? (Doesn't that sound like a 13 year old girl's question.  Doug's answer was, "The only answer to that question for any returned missionary should be, "whichever one my bride wants to be."  Good answer, Doug.)
3. How have you been treated as a missionary?  How have your companions been?

ZJ's questions:

1. Have you ever had the door slammed in your face?  (I was surprised that this was her first thought.  We talked about rejection and persistence.)
2. What's the best meal you've had on your whole mission?  (The answer should always be, "This one!")  
3. Have you watched the movie, "The RM"?  (This is a very funny spoof about returned LDS missionaries.)

Doug asked:  

1. What do you enjoy most about your mission?  
2. How did you gain your testimony?  (Quayd talked about how he gained his testimony, which was sweet.)
3. How do you think being a missionary differs today than it did when your father was a missionary?  (Doug talked about how shy he was on his mission and how difficult it was for him to learn the discussions.  Today, it's much more diverse and he is so social, he would have an entirely different experience with his age and experience.)
4. How do you feel about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith?

My questions were:

1. "What advise would you give our son who is preparing for a mission? (Doug's answer was "Don't buy a flat screen TV."  By now, we were getting a bit silly.)
2. Did you always have a goal to serve a mission or did you have an experience that changed you and made it an absolute decision? 
3. What's the best advise your parents/family gave you before you left to come on your mission?

I have to say that this dinner, as frustrated as I was for the extra effort and expense we'd gone to, did not turn out for nothing.  It was one of those , "Make Lemonade" moments, where something not so good turned out to be even better.  The kids will remember the experience I'm certain.  Too much fun!  AND they got a nummy dessert!  

A few other short ramblings...

• My brother came over last night.  We had the best talk we have ever had in our entire lives.  I feel good about it.  Rick has now experienced the tornado path that we call "Kelly". My heart broke for him because, as rough around the edges as Rick is, he's loved our kids with all of his heart.   And Rick, my wild and crazy little brother, has a big heart. We hugged before he left and I was grateful for that special few hours together. Family is so interesting.
• No weekend plans here.  Just yard work, camping in the trailer in the yard! We get teased about it..."You know that you can hitch that trailer up and take it with you, don't you?"  Yes, we do, it's worth the price of the trailer just to have it at home for our enjoyment... with internet, showers and a full kitchen only feet away.  We love it!
• The movie... Mirror, Mirror.  I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!  ZJ loved this movie. Julia Roberts is too cute to be the wicked Queen, so even wicked, you adore her.  A cute storyline with lots of adult humor... not sexual innuendos, but comments that are meant for the adults not kids.  I will buy this movie the day it comes out.  No swearing at all.  No skin.  An EXCELLENT PG movie!  
• Life is good!

The happiness in your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

 

focus on the positive

• I'm in LOVE with the song, "Home", that Phil Phillips sang last night on the Idol finale.  LOVED IT! I downloaded it already and can't hear it enough.  I am sad to see American Idol come to an end, but look so forward to more music from Phil in the future! I was in tears, watching Phil Phillips as Ryan Seacrest  was announcing the phone numbers to vote.  Phil just looked over that audience, seeing the thousands of people screaming, and you could just see that this kid was overwhelmed or humbled by it all.  I do love American Idol!  Each time I think of Carrie Underwood's success today and where she came from, WOW!  How awesome is that!?  I wish the same success to Phil, whether he wins tonight or not!  I love to see people succeed and have great lives!
• Speaking of which, a friend just won $1800 on a radio contest!  I was so excited for her!  I won $20 once and still celebrate it!  I love it when good things happen to good people!
• Today, ZJ and I are having our own personal fifth grade graduation party celebration together.  Her class is going to the Fun Park for the day, but ZJ has opted to pass and have a day date with me.  She's gotten sick every single time she's ever been there for a birthday party or to skate.  "It smells bad and gives me a headache."  (It is the smelliest place I've ever been!)  ZJ she has never been a Fun Park fan.  So, instead, we'll be doing some shopping, going to lunch and a matinee of Mirror Mirror.  We can't wait!
• Everyone's asking... Yes.  Kelly got out of jail on Monday.  She showed up at our home at 6:55AM on Tuesday morning with attitude and demands. I told her, nicely, that that I would not discuss any of this without her Dad by my side.  She is very angry because we hadn't bailed her out or taken her calls from the jail.  With my health issues, I, literally, emotionally or physcially, am not able to take her verbal abuse any longer.  I have three other children at home who need a mother and these "episodes" just leave me drained.  
  When I would not respond with any thing other than "We're not discussing this without your dad" to every single threat, question, accusation or excuse, she became angry and said, "I'm never coming back here again." I stood in silence.  Two or three minutes.  Finally, she said, "Ever" and walked outside to the front porch step, where she sat for quite some time before she was left.  A few hours later, she called, asking when her dad would be home. We've not heard from her since.  We love this daughter of ours. She has no clue as to the pain and heartache she has brought to our family. Enough is enough. We can do nothing more for her until she wants to help herself and accept some accountability for her actions and choices. It hurts. Then, and only then, we would do anything to help her.  But, for now, it is what it is. Enough said about that. 
• Dad called or his daily family update while Doug, the kids and I were all outside in the yard, finishing up planting the garden. I told him the latest drama...with Kelly,  my brother, my mother, all of which, I'm trying my best to stay clear of.  Dad said, "Baby, you just focus on the five of you right there.  Don't worry about what's happening five houses away (mom's) or with anyone else.  Those kids need a happy mamma and Doug needs a happy wife.  That's all that matters.  Let everyone else deal with their own problems."   It made me cry and laugh at the same time.  I'm fifty-three years old.  For the first time in my life, I have a father.  He's there for me, calling every single day.  He recognizes from "Hello" how I'm feeling and where I'm at at the moment.  He's sensitive and caring and validates my feelings.  And he has such a kind heart, encouraging me, continually to be forgiving and loving, but firm.  It's awesome.  I'm so thankful that my dad has come into my life at this time.  It's a tender mercy, indeed.

Life is good.  Here's ten quick reasons why!

1. I'm having with lunchdate on the river and going to a movie with my favorite eleven year old girl in the whole wide world!
2. It's the American Idol finale tonight!
3. The garden is planted!
4. Summer vacation only a week away!
5. The missionaries are coming for dinner tonight...always interesting and fun.
6. It's not raining and it was supposed to.  So lunch on the river and not inside will be awesome!
7. Movie popcorn is only hours away.  (My tummy will pay for it, but it will be worth it!) 
8. I love my Mother-in-Law!
9. I bought a dang cute pair of capris and I didn't even have to try them on first to make sure.  I just grabbed them off the rack!  SWEET!

The best is yet to come.

 

Taking the day off

I'll be back tomorrow.  Other than the drama, life is wonderful.  ;)

 

monday

It was a pretty mellow weekend.  Doug worked, Quayd worked for a neighbor/friend, Grace hiked with the Young Women and ZJ and I just chilled at home.  We did make a family trip to Kohls for some summer clothes.  We also purchased all of the plants for the garden and got it tilled. Tonight, for Family Home Evening, we'll get it all planted.

I have to make a little statement about clothes shopping for the girls... WHY would I want to pay $46 for a pair of capris that look exactly like the jeans that the girls have at home...just could cut them off at the worn holes in their knees, roll them up  and call it good... they are already faded and raggedy.  For dressing up, I get it.  But, to play in the back yard,  I'll pass.

Last night, I realized, a little too late,  that I took out my frustrations on myself, by eating several things over the past few days that are not on my gastroenterologist's "allowable" list.  I've done so well for ten months. But, seriously, I gave all caution to the wind last week, eating a chili-dog, a cheeseburger, chinese orange chicken, Chili's shrimp tacos, a boston creme donut and a few Pepsi's.  And my body told me, "There's a reason your GI doc told you to stay away from these things!!!"  I spent much of my weekend "paying for it". Enough said.  But, suffice it to say, I'm back on my good eating habits and want to remember this past few days in detail for a lonnnnnnnnnnng time!  That's the worst I've felt since last July!  No repeats, thank you!  Couldawouldashoulda!!!

I discovered a new crock pot recipe for the family Sunday dinner.  We took it over to Carol's for dinner and it was a hit.  I made a few alterations, so here's my version of our dinner....

 Garlic Sauce Crockpot Chicken

1 large package of fresh chicken tenders
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
2 cups sour cream
1/2 pound fried bacon, crumbled
1/2 cup flour
2 Tbsp. minced garlic (I buy it in a large jar at Sam's Club!)
Lots of salt and lots more pepper

Mix up the sauce in the crockpot, toss in the chicken, stir and cover the chicken with the sauce.  Cook on low for 5-6 hours.  We served it over hot rice.  Everyone loved it!  

I've mentioned many times that Doug says, "Thirty-eight percent" or the number thirty-eight a lot.  Over the weekend, we were watching Vampire Diaries.  Elena said, "I've been asked 'Are you okay?' thirty-seven times...."  I teased Doug, "She only said thirty-seven."  Ten minutes later in the show, Stefon, the vampire asked her, "Are you okay?"  I'd already forgotten the conversation from minutes before.  Doug piped up, "Um, that would be thirty-eight."  He's too funny!

I was telling Liza about the experience filming the advertisement for my dentist.  I explained that I doubt they'll use my footage at all because I made this weird facial expression at the end of each question in the interview.  Liza asked, "Did they numb you first?  Because if they did, it's their own fault you were making faces."  We laughed so hard! I love my girl.

This, discovered on my friend, Natalie's Pinterest boards, made me laugh too:

Today, we'll plant the garden. I'm taking lunch to Doug at work and doing my errands.  It's a busy day and I hope my tummy co-operates better than it has the past few days!  Life is good... even with a wonky pylorus!

Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says,
"I'll try again tomorrow."

 

the little things

Gracie set the table.  They're learning.  Happiness.

The beginning is the most important part of the work.

who couldn't love springtime?

 

GrAtiTuDe iS tHe FaiReSt bLosSoM wHiCh sPriNgs fRoM thE SouL.

 

fantabulous friday morning

Already been to town, filmed the little interview for my dentist, bought groceries and did some banking.  Off to play with Natalie in a few.  So, here's my quick ten this morning...

1. It's been POURING the rain, thunder and lightning all morning.  BEAUTIFUL storm!
2. The dentist thing took less than five minutes.  I was a dork.  But, I do love Dr. BRETT SKINNER, DDS!  I teased him that I was going to say, "Brett is awesome, gentle, cares about us and he looks like CASTLE!"  As I left, I promised them that I would not take offense AT ALL if they didn't use one second of my footage.
3. Call block is a great sleep remedy!
4. Taylor has turned me on to Vampire Diaries. We watched two episodes yesterday and she sent home the first season.  Hmmmm. 
5. I watched the finale of Greys Anatomy.  Haven't watched it for a few years, but saw the plane crash preview and thought it looked interesting.  Strange way to end for a season finale.  I realized that I don't miss it.
6. Yesterday, I was able to do a service project for a friend.  A surprise service project.  Doing it felt good.  Hearing the phone call upon the discovery was the BEST!  We should all do secret service projects.  Then everyone would walk around with a huge smile on their face all the time!
7. Doug's working this weekend.  All weekend.  No Melaleuca Convention.  No campout with the scouts.  No garden planting.  Nada.  But, the money will be great!  I heart that I have a man who loves to work hard to provide for his family!  I am blessed!
8. Please pass school ending today!  I'm so ready for nothing!
9. I heart my dad.  He's not into drama.  He is always positive and upbeat.  He's awesome!
10. My friend dropped by with a little giftee a few days ago.  After Tessa and Madi's weddings, I'm now a huge purple fan!  Who knew!

Life is good!  Very very good!   Especially on rainy Friday mornings when you have a friend coming to play, your hubby is happy and appreciative of little things like CLEAN SINKS and you want it to be good!  Enough said!

You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it.

i guess that was enough?

Natalie and I spent much of the day together yesterday, going for a drive, running errands, grabbing a bite to eat and best of all, visiting her mom's beautiful home and farm.  Her home is magnificent. Her kitchen is a dream come true.  Their gardens and grounds are incredible.  It was a wonderful afternoon and great to just enjoy!  Lovely!  Later, Doug and the babes ate leftover homemade pizza and leftover tater-tot casserole while I went out to meet Carol and Taylor at Sonic for a Hotdog and an hour gab-session to hear how Taylor's follow-up visit with Dr. Anderson went.  (She's doing so much better and will go back to school next Monday!)

After getting Doug and the babes to bed, I had a latenight conversation with BFF from Ohio, Susan and then finally watched American Idol.  I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up until 2.  Cleaning my bathroom.  That's what I do when I'm stressed.  Although, I didn't really felt especially stressed.  But for some reason, at 10PM, I started scrubbing and scouring and couldn't stop.  Kelly called collect about ten times last night.  I just have to hear that "Collect Call" recorded message and hang up.  I was concerned that she was going to call Doug's cellphone and wake him up.  But, she stuck to my cellphone after I took the land line off the hook.  By, now, one would think that she would realize that we aren't going to help her out of her mess.   Enough said.

So, in discussing the latest happenings in our life, with Susan, we recognized that at the moment, life is giving me some serious growth experiences/challenges.  Currently...

1. My wayward daughter is in jail for serious drug and alcohol charges.  (Hopefully, this will be a wake-up call because we are not having any part in it.)
2. My daughter's husband has just taken my granddaughter 2000 miles away from us with the threat that we will never see her in our valley again and there's not a thing in the world I can do about it because my daughter isn't together enough to take the necessary actions.  (Thankfully, he's keeping in contact with us so that we can speak with her often.)
3. My mother and her manfriend are drama, drama, drama.  (Thankfully, I can graciously say, "No thank you, I'll not be a part of your drama.")
4. My brother, who I have felt so good about for the first time in our entire lives, has reared his ugly OLD head and causing more drama,  drama, drama.  (Thankfully, he's getting that I REFUSE to be part of it.)
5. I've just reached spent $4000 to be paid out of pocket for medical bills for a mystery illness that has had me worried sick then miraculously was cured overnight.  (The good news is  that we've now met our deductible for year.)
6. I want an iPad.  (Now, there's something that is worth mentioning.  NOT!  That's a personal joke!)

AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOT ME MORE UPSET THAN ANYTHING THIS MORNING????

 A SINK FULL OF DIRTY DISHES!!!

I'm suffering from serious Mommy Martyrdom this morning because after one hour away with Carol last night, leaving the family with their very favorite, very tasty requested leftovers,  I never went back into the kitchen when I came home.  This morning, I discovered a counter, full of dirty dried, baked on red sauce and cheesy dishes...NOT soaking in the sink., but just sitting there all over the counter waiting for me. Doug is the most amazing husband in THE world.  He unloads the dishwasher as much or more than I do.  But, for the most part, he leaves the rest of the kitchen patrol to me. And my children know how to put things away, rinse things off, load the dishwasher. Apparently, last night, everyone had a memory lapse because they were in a rush to play outside. I am so not amused. 

Several friends have commented, "I don't know how you do it, I couldn't handle this all at once."  Of course they could.  We all can because our challenges are tailor made for our own benefit.  I believe that with all my heart.  HOWEVER, obviously, that doesn't mean I'm always smiling through the pain. I've cried a million tears this past few weeks.  I've felt completely overwhelmed.  And apparently, all that other stuff listed above has been simmering inside me and the kitchen is what it took for me to lose it.  Trivial, I know! I had my little melt-down, all by my lonesome this morning, cleaned the kitchen and I'm over it now.  The kitchen is back to spotless and, bonus, thanks to my latenight restlessness, my bathroom is super shiny.  I feel much better now.  Wouldn't it be nice if all of life's problems could be resolved by a little cleaning and venting with a few caps and an extra large font?  I'm going to find something good to do for someone else today to take my mind of my own dirty dishes. Enough said. 

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry,
show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

odds and ends

ZJ and I had an awesome Tuesday.  She called me as soon as she was done with her make-up testing and I picked her up from the school.  She chose Chili's or Texas Roadhouse, which isn't open for lunch.  She asked if there was someplace she'd never been.  I suggested a few places...Cafe Sabor and Elements.  She remembered me bringing home lettuce wraps from Elements and also that they have a beautiful patio on the river.  "ELEMENTS!!!!!"  And so.  We had a lovely lunch with Denise on the patio by the river and a mama duck and her baby, who kept us entertained through much of our visit.  (The baby is somewhere in the ground cover.) I loved hearing ZJ's, literally, every other comment, "I love Elements!...Elements is my new favorite place!... I could live right here forever!... This is the best place I've ever been to lunch before!"  She was in heaven.  And truly, it is a little piece of heaven.  Love it!  After lunch, we had to hit A&W for a twisty root beer swirl icecream cone dessert.  It was a fun day date!  The babes are all getting big enough that conversations are fun and entertaining and not about their latest favorite action hero or Little Pet Shop toy!  Loved it!

Doug ended up working late, then racing off to a meeting, then heading up to the hospital to administer to the sick.  (If you are not LDS, that means he and another man from our ward gave blessings to those who requested them.)  It was quite late when he got home and ten o'clock before he got to bed.  It will be a long day for him at work today.  Doug is one that needs his sleep!  But, I'm hoping that he will be blessed for giving blessings! ;)  Since he was gone, we had McD's cheeseburgers for dinner, on the way to the kids youth activities at church.  I ate a cheeseburger... the first one I've had in ten months.  And it will probably be the last for the next ten!

I was told that, after Kelly's video arraignment yesterday, (Hey, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say!), she went back to the jail and tried again find someone to post her bail. To no avail, as far as I know.  She'll have a pre-trial next week, so Kelly will be safe and probably not so sound in an 8x8' cell for another week before she knows her next destination.  In the afternoon, I received more calls from different bail bondsmen (and a woman) and again, had to say no.  The one woman asked me, "I suppose this means I shouldn't bother calling her father, should I?"  I said, "Her father?  He's standing right here.  Babe?  Would you like to talk with this woman?"  He said, "No, not really, thanks."  And that was that. Aside from the prayers of so many, Kelly is on her own.  Our heart breaks for her to be in this place, but she's there because she chose to be there.  Enough said about that.

I've got the usual large pile of papers that have come home this past few days, sitting here on my desk, waiting to be co-ordinated in my planner as to who has what party, assignment, field trip, ceremony until the last day of school.  The countdown is on!  The babes are begging to put the pool up already.  This is the first spring in three years that has really been a spring, not a late winter.  We have the trailer ready to hang out  in. I locked it with the key and now the key won't unlock it. A locksmith will be coming later today to replace the lock.  Ugh.  But, it's not doing us much good if we can't get in.  Oh, the joys of summer, soooooo close we can taste them!

I've been asked and wanted to share what I've learned that has really made a difference in the size of jeans I'm buying.  I'm NOT dieting.  I've simply changed my eathing habits. Hopefully, now I can remember it:

1. Don't eat 3 Hours Before Bed.  If I do stay up late and get hungry, I eat a fresh fruit.
2. Limit how often you eat out.  It's made a huge difference for me!  Even healthy menu items in most restaurants are not near as healthy as what you prepare at home.  Not as fun, but healthy.  Still fighting that battle of which is better, fun or healthy.
3. Eat what you want, but, choose wisely. Don't forbid your favorite things... just use portion control.  I eat a Reeses every now and then.  I love A&W icecream swirls, but I don't do Peanut Buster Parfaits anymore.
4. Walk.  Even if it's only around the block.  Every day.  Ten minutes is better than none.
5. Weigh Yourself Daily.  My GYN just told me that he'd read an article that encouraged this practice.  If you know that you are up a pound today, you're more likely to watch yourself during the day.  He also said that eating breakfast and sleeping 8 hours helps.  I'm still working on that!
6. Don't drink pop.  (My biggest challenge.  I still drink it guilt-free it at the movies and with pizza.)
7. Stay away from greasy, fatty and fried foods.  There's plenty of great ways to serve things without. That's gotten easier and easier.  I prefer lettuce wraps to fried mushrooms.  whodathunkit!? 
8. Don't be in a hurry.  A pound a week or every other week as a goal is so much better/easier on the brain than "I need to lose 50 pounds!"

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.

blessed sunshine!

I have to say that I was quite surprised by the letters that I received yesterday.  Sad to say, but good to know that I'm not alone in this challenge of dealing with "wayward" children.  I wanted to first mention, and I've probably mentioned this before a few times, the mother who asked me "Aren't you embarrassed by the way your kids have turned out?"  My answer.  NOT AT ALL!  First off, they haven't "turned out" because they aren't done!  None of us are done until our last breath!  Second of all, no I'm not embarrassed!  We've done the best we could at parenting and, hopefully, we are continuing to improve on those skills each and every day, regardless of the ages of our children...bigs and babes!  And third of all, I said it yesterday, "Never judge another person's parenting because you never know that tomorrow won't be the day that you eat those words!"  We're all in this together to learn!  Let's be supportive of each other, rather than critical.  Enough said!  ;)  (ETA:  I had written most of this entry last night and pooped out before I found a quote to share.  When I woke up this morning, I'd received an email from a friend referring to this experience.  Thank you to everyone who has taken time to write me privately and who comment on the blog during times like this!  We are all in this together!)

We had quite an interesting day yesterday.  Between Kelly, my mother, my brother (who reared the old Rick for a bit yesterday) and medical issues, I'm feeling like I'm in some sort of special enhanced program right now of "Come what may and Love it."  Monday brought a new little challenge about every other hour.  BUT.  There was much good in the day too and that's what I'm going to focus on today!

First, I took Grace in for X-rays of her broken finger.  It is healing well.  Things look good.  No surgery will be needed.  It hurts, but it's unwrapped and Grace wasn't amused when I announced that she's back on dish duty after dinner.  She did them with a smile, but I could see that "Dang!  Vacation's over!" look when I told her that it was her turn.  Totally random thought, all of my girls have the most beautiful hands!  Even Grace's X-rays were pretty.  Seriously!

I shared this photo of myself on Facebook a few days ago, but not here on the blog.  ZJ took this picture of me with my iPhone after my new haircut.  I'm really liking it shorter and shorter. It's much more work than the long, natural curly look that I've sported for.ev.er but I'm enjoying it!  I remember several years ago when I got a haircut for Liza's wedding.  She told her friend/hairdresser that I loved it and that I was "actually doing it every day."  LIZA!!!!  I did my hair every day!  But, the get up and go with my natural curl, apparently, didn't count in her mind.  Trust me.  I now have a close relationship with the flat iron and a plethora of hair product. ;)

During dinner last night, Quayd made a comment about something he wanted to do.  I can't even remember what it was, but Gracie responded ever-so quickly with, "Yeh, Quayd.  Hold your breath. When you are forty."  Now, sarcasm is something that we are just developing in our home.  It's not something that the babes have ever really captured and Doug rarely uses sarcasm.  But, oh, they are getting it now.  Doug just busted out laughing at Gracie's quick wit!  Quayd gave him a smile and said, "Uh, you're the only one laughing, Dad." I'm sure that our new neighbors wonder sometimes what we are laughing at so hard from inside these walls.  Oh well. Better that they hear laughter!

Side story. But...it's a happy memory and an important sentiment! Eighteen years ago, we were partying at Carol's.  This was long before Jon passed away.  Burbanks, our Arizona friends, were up visiting.  We played games and cards all night long. Honestly, to this day, I don't think that I have ever laughed as hard as that night.  At the time, Carol lived in a neighborhood with homes that were built pretty close together.  The next day, her neighbor came over and said that she'd heard us laughing all night and that at 3:30 in the morning, she was mad at herself for not being brave enough to come over and ask to join us.  We'd have loved to have had her join us!  That lady has passed away from cancer since then, as well.  But, anytime I remember that night, I think of her and took that as a lesson to "step out" of your comfort zone because sometimes the best times are found there!  Enough said about that!

Zaylee has called several times.  She said to me, "Gwammie, I have my very own toothpaste.  And I can't find it anywhere!"  She also asked me if she could come to my house to sleep.  I explained to her that she is in Arkansas and I am in Utah and that's a lonnnnng way away.  Her response, "Grammie?  You can come to my house in Arkansas???"  It was a tough moment, but, she's seeming happy and loving the fun new experiences that she's having.  And I'm adjusting.  We all are.  ZJ said yesterday, "I see Zaylee everywhere, Mom."  Kevin has committed to find a computer and learn to skype.  Happiness!  I'm going to put together a little scrapbook for Zaylee with all of our pictures.  It's been a long time since I've scrapbooked.  But, I'm going to do a little alphabet book for her.   I think that I'll make two and send one to Willow, as well.

ZJ made it through her first day back at school.  We talked with the family doc, during Grace's appointment and he wondered if it was some strange virus that has gone around where they get a "rash" on the inside of their intestines.  It's quite painful, he said, and lasts about five days.  ZJ's lasted twice that long but he said it sounded like that might have been it.  WHY didn't someone mention that at the hospital last week?  After dinner, she had a minor 30 minute relapse, but then rallied.  

Today is the fifth grade big field trip to SLC baseball game today.   A bit concerned about 3 plus hours on a school bus, I let her decide. She opted to stay home with her mama and choose where we will go to lunch.  I've not been to Chili's in over two months and I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be her first choice. But, first, since she missed some of the core testing last week, I just spoke with one of her favorite teachers and she's going to run over and complete the last test before lunch.  Then, ZJ can call me when she's done, I'll pick her up and we'll play the rest of the afternoon.  Again, this was her choice.  Good choice, Zeej.

Doug has been planning for months on attending the Melaleuca National Convention this weekend. He announced last night that he won't be attending at all this year.  I'm still not sure I'll believe it until he actually doesn't walk out the door. However, there are some issues at work calls and if they need him, Doug will be there.  I'd love to have him for an employee.  He's loyal and dedicated.  I know where Liza got her work ethics from, for sure!  Speaking of work ethics, Quayd was just hired by a neighbor/friend to do some yard work.  He's motivated to start earning his own money. He commented, "Yeh, I need to start getting serious about earning money for my mission."  YAY, QUAYD!!! However, I'm sure that he's got a few aps for his iTouch in mind, too.   ;)  I heart my boy!  

 That's it for today.  Some happiness and joy and fun.  I love happy!  Life is good!

It is our choices that show who we are, more than our ability.

on Mothers Day? Seriously?

I really try to be happy and to be a positive person.  However.  On Mothers Day, I take exception.  I've mentioned this before.  Mothers Day is not my favorite day of the year. For lots of reasons.  One.  I was not raised my the homemaking/cookie baking mother who never raised her voice or laid a hand on me.  My mother worked full-time and took out much her frustration of a sinking marriage on my brother and myself. I love my mother.  But, it's definitely not the relationship that you read about on a Hallmark Mothers Day card.  Two. I've known too many mothers who feel that this day causes guilt and sadness.  And three, I also have issues with people who treat moms like dirt all year long and then try to make up for it on the one day of the year with lavish gifts. Love your mother every day even if you don't always like her!  As always, I call it like I see it.  That's the truth, from my perspective.  That doesn't mean that we don't make the most of the day at home. But.  It's not my favorite day of the year. 

This year, however, not without reason, was not my favorite day.  I'm airing the dirty laundry again. Sadly, one of my children brings that unfortunate opportunity more often than any mother would care for. Mothers Day began just before midnight when I received a collect call from the County Jail. I did not accept.  A few minutes later, my mother called to tell me that she'd received the same recorded call.  She did not accept either.  Wanting to confirm my suspicions, I discussed it with Doug and then called, to discover that Kelly, was indeed, in jail.  Her charges are quite serious.  The officer told me what he could.  

Doug and I discussed it and climbed in bed...not that we could sleep for thinking, but then...  For the next hour, the phone rang with various bail bondsmen calling to ask me to rush right out and take care of Kelly's business. (apparently, she'd called several.) I've never spoken with a bondsperson before.  But, they acted so matter of factly... just sign over your house as collateral and you can pick up your daughter. With each call, I informed them that this would not be happening.  I also asked that a message be relayed to Kelly... "The choices we make today determine our happiness tomorrow."  Finally, after several calls, I took the phone of the hook and went back to bed and tried to go to sleep.  Not that much of it came.

In the morning, Doug and I had a talk with the babes about drugs and addictions and choices and consequences.  We are open with the kids, making sure that they are aware that the choices they make affect not only them, but so many others, that they not only say no to drugs but that they RUN!!, that they know that we love them and support them but that we are strong believers in natural consequences and that we will not be helping Kelly out of the mess she has created for herself.

We've not heard any more from Kelly.  I imagine that she'll see a judge sometime this week and without going into details (I dont know many to go into), I'll just say that she's in some serious deep doggy d00-d00.   Doug and I have had concerns for a while now.  They were all confirmed this weekend.  One thing is for certain...Zaylee won't be coming home anytime soon to be with Kelly.  Happy Mothers Day?  I wasn't amused.

I'd asked Doug to not get me anything because I literally couldn't think of a thing that I want or need.  He's told me that I should go and buy some more "smaller size" clothes this week.  That works.  ZJ made me a cute little beaded necklace and wrote the sweetest note.  Gracie offered to help with breakfast.  Quayd did the dishes.  Doug helped with several things in preparing for the afternoon meal and breakfast.  

Liza sent me a text early in the day, "Thank you for praying for Pearl Jam tickets for me.  (Years ago, she was trying to win tickets from the local radio station.  She'd pulled over and parked waiting for them to announce the number of caller she needed to be.   Liza loves Pearl Jam.  She called to ask, "Do you think it's wrong to pray that I win Pearl Jam tickets?"  I told her that I highly doubted that Heavenly Father really cared about her winning concert tickets, but I'm sure that it wasn't wrong either.  We hung up and I  said a prayer that she'd win them too. She won.  I think that she was as happy that I'd prayed for her to win as she was that she won.  Well, almost.)  

Later in the afternoon, Dale called.  Now, Dale rarely calls on Mothers Day.  I don't think that Dale owns a calendar because Dale doesn't usually realize that it was Mothers Day until a week later. Then he calls.   However, he remembered and called and said, "Happy mitochondrial day!"  I learned that Mitochondrial DNA is passed from mother to child, but only females continue to pass on their maternal mitochondria down to their children.  Thank you very much for that lovely lesson on genetics.  It was a great visit.  When we hung up, I cried.  Happy tears.

We then went to both mine and Doug's mom's for a bit and met Carol at a park, where we shared dinner and watched all of the kids play for a few hours.  It was a perfect 75 degrees.  It was sunshiny and bright with a perfect warm breeze.  Time with Carol and her fam,with Doug and the kids.  Perfect.  Carol's mother, one of my favorite ladies on this earth, dropped by the park for a visit. So, that was lovely.  Just what I needed to take my mind off of "other things".

When we got home, we got the kids to bed, Doug went to sleep and I watched the Survivor finale all by my lonesome.  No interruptions.  I didn't mind a bit.  Between church and gatherings, Liza and I had been hit and miss all day.  We had a short visit. Liza tells me and shows me that she loves me every day, making every day Happy Mothers Day to me!

Then, at about 11, I started getting the best texts ever from Lizard. Lots of them!  One after another after another.  Thanking me for her wedding, for seeing Evita 13 times with her at the theater and buying her the Antonio Banderas Evita poster,  being camp director when she was 15, Cabbage Patch dolls, all the stories I've told her, loving Buddy, having a full cookie jar all her life, piano lessons and my telling strangers that they are beautiful to treasure hunts to gospel discussions to playing with her hair.  And more!  Now, seriously.  After Liza and Dale and the babes and Doug and Carol, how can I not love Mothers Day!?  

Now.  About Kelly. Some might disagree with our tough love policy.  HOWEVER. We've lived this life with Kelly for the past sixteen years.  One thing that we've learned.  Never judge another's parenting because A. You may end up eating every word.  And B.  Every child, every relationship, every situation is different and no one really knows what they would do unless they were living the nightmare.  You can say, "Well, I'd this or that, but you really don't know.

It is what it is.  We have helped Kelly and supported her in every way possible.  BUT, as a friend said this morning, "Once is a mistake.  But, more than once is a choice."  That's where Kelly is.  This lifestyle is her choice.  Not ours. And these consequences are hers.  Not that they won't affect us, indirectly, but they are hers.   When Kelly returned to the family four years ago, after all those years of not knowing if she was alive or dead, we did everything we could to show her all of our love and support.  But.  She's on her own now. She's made her choice.  We have three children in our home that we will not subject to her drama, other than to remind them that "In our home, we make good choices." Period.  At this point, Kelly has our prayers and our love.  But, that's all she gets from us.  Life is full of growing/learning experiences and no one can learn your lessons for you.  No one, but you.  Enough said!

Now.  To end on a happy note.  Because I like happy!  Here's a few pix from our fun day!

Here's Taylor, recuperating from her surgery.

Carol watching the grands.

The newlyweds, Madi and Doug.

Quayd, climbing, as usual.

ZJ, who's feeling like new!  She went back to school today!



Gracie playing Frisbee with her dad and Tanner.

Tanner, Shawn White look-a-like, at the other end of the Frisbee.

Matt, entertaining himself with his iTunes.  Check out those shoes!  I love them!

Madi's daughter, McKayla and her new son, Jackson.

Doug, entertaining the kids with his Donald Duck voice.

Doug and me, mid-sentence, imagine that!

Regardless of what else is happening, life is good. 

 

 

Happy Mothers Day

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is."

3 x 3

previously posted in July 2007

Three of my favorite recipes:

Bessie's Chimichangas
1 dozen large tortillas
shredded cooked chicken (I cheat and buy a rotissarie grilled one at the grocers)
3 cans cream of mushroom or chicken soup (I mix them)
1 can chopped chilies or 1 cup chunky salsa
3 chopped green onions
1 large sour cream
lots of shredded cheese

Mix all ingredients except the tortillas.  Scoop the chicken mixture into the tortillas and roll.  Cover with more shredded cheese and any of the filling that didn't fit into the tortillas.  Cover with foil and bake at 350° until the cheese is bubbly. (about 35 minutes)

Carol's Yummy Sunday Salad

2 cans drained mandarin oranges
1 can pineapple, drained but save the juice
1 blue box of Instant Americana Tapioca
1 large box Cook & Serve Vanilla pudding
3 large bananas

Drain pineapple juice into measuring cup.  Add enough water to make 2 cups.  Mix liquide with both puddings in a medium saucepan.  Cook until thick and bubbly, stirring constantly.  Pour over fruit while still warm.  Add bananas right before serving.  VERY good warm OR cold.  It's my favorite!

Frog-eye Salad (This makes the huge Tupperware Fix-N-Mix bowl full!! It sounds like work but is quite quick to prepare ahead and is always the hit at every family reunion!)

Boil 3 quarts water and 1 Tbsp oil.  Add 1 box of Acine de Pepe (usually on the top shelf above the pastas.)  Drain 2 cans (1crushed and 1 tidbits) pineapple, saving the juice. 

In saucepan, add:
1 3/4 cup pineapple juice
t tsp. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs (I whip them up a bit first)
Boil and cook until thickened, stirring constantly.
Add 2 Tbsp. lemon juice.

Pour over cooked and drained pasta.  Fold gently.  Refridgerate overnite.  The next day, add:
2 cans drained mandarin oranges
the pineapple
1 large container of Cool Whip
2 cups marshmallows
marishino cherries for color!

(Some people also add a cup of coconut flakes.)  Fold it all together, keep chilled until serving.  Will feed an army!

Don't dwell on those who let you down.
 Cherish those who hold you up.

 

stuff

• ZJ had her best day in two weeks.  That's not to say that she didn't spend much of the day lying on her tummy across the lazyboy, but she did go outside and actually bounce on the trampoline for a few minutes in the sunshine.  Then, she was right back on the chair in tears.  But.  She did have a good moment and that was awesome.  I think that the sunshine had to help a bit!  Sunshine is good for every ailment!
• Book group was last night. Since Doug went on his crazy shift and we started tending Zaylee last fall, I've not gone. It felt great to return. We'd read Anita Shreve's "Light on Snow".  There was a fun conversation about an interesting book.  I am always fascinated by the fact that 12 people can read the same book and come away with such different opinions.  One thing that was quite surprising to us all was that one very important paragraph was eliminated from one edition of the book.  A few of the ladies said, "WHAT?  Where was that?" When we looked, it was totally missing.  I've never seen that before but it really changed one important point in the book.  Hmmm.
• I called Kevin today to speak with Zaylee and to let him know that her package was on the way.  She was napping and when he told her that we were on the phone, she barely stirred, so we asked him not to wake her. I mentioned everything that I'd sent and that I'd not sent her shampoos and conditioners.  He asked me about that and then ended up having his step-mother get on the phone so that I could "teach her" how to care for Zaylee's hair.  I told her, step-by-step, what she needed to do and how to do it.  For some reason, this hit me hard and by the time she handed the phone back to Kevin,  I completely lost it, just sobbing.  Kevin ended up crying too and apologized over and over for hurting us.  I hate this.  I really do.  But, we hung up, I said a prayer, and then found a tender mercy waiting for me...an email from one of my dearest friends.  The quote today, a long one, is what gave me the strength I needed today.  Thank you, Susan.  (I'll share it below.)
• Everyone's talking about the Time magazine cover of the hot mother nursing the little BOY, not baby.  I'm married to granolaman.  Of course, I nursed our children until their first birthday.  Dale was 13 months. We're very pro-nursing. It's a beautiful gift.  But, Doug's comment was that this kind of sensationalism sheds a negative light on the mothers who do nurse responsibly and respectfully. I thought that the photo was not at all about nursing mothers, but more for a shock factor to sell magazines.  PS. Time... the magazine doesn't come out for another 11 days.  By the time it hits the newsstands, this will be old news.  I don't think that they'll sell anymore mags than they would have initially.  My humble opinion.
• Speaking of the media...I'm not loving the last two weeks of American Idol.  
• Liza called late last night to tell me that Buddy had made her a nummy dinner where he'd taken chicken breast, pounded them, covered them with pepperoni and cheese, the rolled them up, baked them and covered them in a maranara sauce.  She said that it was very tasty and it took a a few minutes to realize that he'd made her Aurora's Chicken Pepperoni.  That's the meal that is the center of attention in the old Chevy Chase/Goldie Hawn movie, "Seems like Old Times".  It's one of our favorites... the movie, not the menu. BUT, I'll be trying the recipe soon.  Too funny.

It's the weekend!  And Mother's Day weekend, at that.  HAPPINESS!!  Bring it on!!! Life is good.

 

"...The Buddhists say that pain is inevitable, but suffering is a painful feeling about pain. Pain is simply a sensation, but suffering comes from thinking that what is shouldn't be. I saw that no matter what happened to me in this life, I could trust that God had me in mind and that

life happens for me, not to me.

 It's all for my good."

"I envisioned myself looking at the possibilities for my earth life, accepting all the risks, and saying, "I am willing, send me. I am willing to be the one who is betrayed. I am willing to be physically uncomfortable. I am willing to lose a child. I am willing to be...lost, confused, hurt, offended, upset, in pain, maimed. I am willing, send me. I want to feel what it is to be alive, to love, to forgive. I am willing to face pain so that I might know true joy."

"...I had always said, '"I want to be like Jesus,'"...Was I truly willing?...He was willing."

Can I also say, "Here am I, send me?

 

ZJ, a recipe and two things every mom should know

Well. We still don't have the answers to ZJ's issues.  However, Dr. Anderson assures us that her problem is not surgical.  He thinks it may be viral.  He spent one hour and one minute iwth us, reviewing every test that has been done, going over her first CT Scan, slice by slice, every blood test, the ultrasound, X-rays, everything.  "On paper, she looks perfectly healthy."  So.  He determined that, hopefully, what ZJ has is viral and that it will pass in a few weeks.  Not the answer we wanted, but I suppose that, if he's right, it's the best answer.  Much better than "Let's do surgery!"  He says that we can set up an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist in SLC, but that will take two months and, more than likely, she'll be well again before that.  Let's pray!  

BECAUSE  as of now, ZJ has found that her most comfortable position in on her tummy, stretched sideways across the arms of the lazy boy, with her tummy dangling in the middle.  Dr. Anderson suggested that we bag the BRAT diet, recommended by the ER doctor and allow her to eat whatever she wants, but to avoid spicy. Since everything she eats or drinks hurts, she may as well eat what she wants...which is very little.  Who wants to eat when they know that it's going to cause them major pain within minutes?!  She has lost 4.9 pounds since Saturday.  She'd been craving a McDonalds cheeseburger because she has seen them advertised all week long.  We got one on the way home.  She ate every bite, but within minutes, she was hanging over the edge of the chair again.  She won't be back in school today again.  FRUSTRATING, but we are hopeful that this is just a bad virus and that it will pass soon.  Enough said about that.

I've learned two new things over the past few days that I wanted to share.

1.    A good rule of thumb for taking Ibuprofen.  200's can be taken every two hours.  400's can be taken every four.  600's every six hours.  And 800's can be taken every eight hours.  I never knew that.  Whodathunkit.

and 2.  After Taylor was coming out of the anesthesia, the nurse taught us a little trick for people who are a bit nauseous. I thought that this was a great idea for parents with kids who get carsick.  I've never had kids who had weak stomachs, but I know lots of people who do.  SO... if your child is feeling nauseous, open a little alcohol wipe (the kind wrapped in foil that they give you before tinkling in a cup for a urine analysis), slide the little wipe halfway out of the foil and hold it near the sickie's nose.  The mild scent of alcohol supposedly calms the upset tummy.  I think that these would be a great thing to keep in the jockeybox of your car!  Love it when I learn something new!

Also,  I wanted to share a new quick and easy recipe.  WOW!  You will need Pork Chops, one package of Ranch Dressing Mix and a can of Cream of Chicken plus 1 can water as needed.  Mix well and cook in the crockpot until the meat is tender.   I may "let" Doug cook this recipe for Mother's Day!

That's it! My to do list for the day includes a run to Sam's Club for Doug's blender drink necessities... spinach and brocolli, reading and napping with ZJ.  I feel like it's been weeks since I've done any serious cleaning and housekeeping... I've had a few other things on my mind but today...Today, I am kicking it back into gear and getting back to real life.  And it's good.  Enough said.

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

 

moving forward...

A few ramblings...

• Liza applied for a job opening at a different branch of her bank a few weeks ago.  She had heard of an opening at a branch that is, literally, within walking distance from their home.  Presently, she spends up to two and a half hours riding the bus home after work on days that Buddy is working too. Woohooo!  Yesterday, she got the news that she got the job!  That alone was like getting a huge raise because there are days that they put over 150 miles on their car going from school to all of their jobs!  Happiness!  Also, Liza was promoted (I guess that it's a promotion?) to Senior Teller!  We're very happy for her!  She and Buddy are both working so hard and serving in demanding positions in their LDS ward.  We're very proud of them and thrilled for their good news!  And good news is most welcomed currently in our home!
• More good news...Carol's daughter,Taylor, no longer has a gall bladder. Happiness! She did well with her surgery.  Now we just hope and pray that she can get back to life as she knew it before!  I spent the afternoon at the hospital with Carol during Taylors surgery and recovery.   We had some good laughs. which was also welcomed.  
• ZJ sees the sugeon today.  Last night, we ended up calling the ER very late because she was hurting so. I asked them if I brought her back up a third time, would they admit her to control the pain until they figure something out.  The ER doc said that they would consider it since this has gone on for a week.  The bottom line... insurance rules.  This makes me sad. Hopefully,we'll have some answers.  I'm sure she's lost weight.  She's lived on popcycles and bananas for the past week.   We're seeing the surgeon, but, I'm really hoping that he can prescribe some magic medicine to make ZJ's pain go away and not have to take out any "parts".  It's so frustrating to see her hurting so much and have no answers. 
• As I posted on Facebook this morning... five words NO mother wants to be awakened to:  "Mom, the toilet's overflowing!"  Especially when Doug's already gone to work!  Yagottaluvit!  Or Not.
• I packed up all of Zaylee's clothes and a few of her toys and bathtub toys to send to her.  This made the whole situation really begin to sink in.  She's not coming back anytime soon.  We're making the adjustments emotionally and physically.  This weekend, I'll be putting the rest of her things in storage bins in the garage because Zaylee is everywhere in our home...from her own dishes to toys and clothes and books. It hit me, as I was thinking about this, if things go as Kevin plans, she will probably have outgrown many of these things before she returns.   He's gone to a lot of expense to move them to Arkansas, so he's not going to be coming back that easily or anytime soon.  The not knowing is the part that's most difficult for my brain to wrap around.  But, it is what it is and we need to face the facts.  I'm not whining.  I'm coping and I cope best by talking about things.  Enough said about that.
• Finally, I just realized this morning that Mother's Day this weekend.  I thought about it and there is, literally, not one thing that I want or need.  My Kindle has several books waiting to be read.  My iTunes playlists are satisfied.  I'm not even thinking about decorating or entertaining right now, so no needs or wants there right now.  I have just bought a new two sizes smaller wardrobe.  I don't need or want a thing.  All I want for Mother's Day is a healthy eleven year old girl!  
• And one last thing... as I was just spellchecking this entry, in my robe and ready to hop in the shower, the doorbell rang.  Messy bed head.  No make up.  Still yucky from cleaning up the nasty bathroom floor. I didn't want to be seen.  But, I answered the door.  An friend, on her morning jog, just stopped by to say that we'd been in their prayers.  Our conversations are always fun and upbeat.  I love her! This morning, this friend was an angel sent as a tender mercy...saying exactly what I needed to hear! She made me laugh and cry and she didn't even care that I looked like... well...the mess I'd cleaned up on the floor.  Tender mercies are my favorite thing!  ENOUGH SAID!

Life is good!

Be Mighty

I will acknowledge that the following entry is a little "preachy".  I can not apologize, however, because my heart is so full of thanks and gratitude this day.

For Family Home Evening last night, we talked about one of my favorite things ~"tender mercies".  I love this verse from the Book of Mormon.  "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of  deliverance."  (1 Nephi 1:20)

Over the weekend, Grace commented, referring to Zaylee being gone, ZJ being so sick, her finger recovering slowly and a few other things, "This is the worst week of our life, Mom!"  Knowing that all three of the babes have been worried sick over Zaylee and we've all been concerned about ZJ, it was time for a little reminder of this important principle of life. 

I explained that a tender mercy could be something huge, like Kevin calling to let us know how Zaylee is, to something as simple as the box of chocolates delivered by a friend this past weekend.  Tender mercies are those little happenings in our lives that reconfirm that we do have a Father in Heaven who is very aware of who we are and of our needs, even when they are sometimes small and trivial.  Tender mercies confirm to us that He is there! I asked the kids for some examples of tender mercies in our lives.  I was touched by how quickly they all came up with answer from the present to years in our past.  Of course, the first was our family adoption. But, they were thoughtful in remembering how Go-Go came to our family immediately after Fancy was put down, how sometimes things just work out perfectly when by all rights and means, they shouldn't, how we receive love and kindness when we least expect it.  I was happy for their recognition of the many tender mercies in our every day lives.

And then, we discussed what "being mighty" means.  "Being mighty means being Strong", ZJ confirmed.  And one interpretation of "being mighty unto the power of deliverance", simply stated is that we must have faith, even in the toughest of times. When life gets tough, we must be mighty unto deliverance.  Our faith must be stronger.  Our actions and our faith must be "mighty".  Rather than whine, "Why me?", we need to ask, "What is it that I am supposed to learn from this experience?"  And then... and only then, in Sophia's strong and firm belief, do we grow and gain from our challenges.  Lastly, I shared that throughout this past week, I've had, in the back of my head almost constantly, "Know this, that all these things shall give the experience and be for thy good."  Because it's true!

That was our lesson/discussion with the kids.  They got it.  Their prayers last night were as tender as could ever be...giving thanks that Kevin's heart was softened, that he called us, that we were able to speak with Zaylee, for Kelly's well-being and then for others... for Taylor's surgery today, for my stomach (which has been a wreck since the word that Zaylee was gone) and for ZJ's recovery.  They got it.  We all have our challenges and trials...and rather than complain and whine, we need to be thankful for opportunities to grow.  And boy!   Has this week ever given us ample opportunity!  

With that in mind... here's the lastest at the Corbridge...no whining.  No complaining.  Just facts.

Zaylee.  Kevin called.  The second that I heard his voice, I started to sob, thanking him for calling, rather than screaming, "YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?"  Those thoughts have crossed my mind, but again, after much prayer and thought, I know that this would have been wrong.  And I was sincerely grateful.  They are in Arkansas, living with his birth father and family.  Zaylee is doing well.  He was calling from outside on the lawn, where Zaylee was riding her bike with her "new" cousin.  Zaylee talked with me a few times during the call and was able to talk to her very best friend in the world, ZJ.  This was great for both of them.   She sounded great, and, after our hour long conversation, Kevin immediately took a photo of Zaylee in the new swimsuit that he'd bought her and texted it to me.

Kevin explained his reasons for leaving.  I can not go into detail, because the details are not mine to share. However.  Kevin is within his legal rights to have done this. Although I'm not one teeny tiny bit happy that Zaylee is 2000 miles away from us, for now, this is how it is and Doug and I will have to be patient with the situation.  Kevin assured me that we will be able to speak with any time that we want.  He gave me a landline, his cell number, as well as their address.  He was very emotional and apologized profusely about taking her from us.  I don't think that he'd realized the impact that this would have on the babes.  It was a positive and straightforward conversation.  For now, we will accept the situation as it is.  He texted me a few times later in the day.  That's all that I can say for now.  We would appreciate your continued prayers in Zaylee's behalf.  I felt a peace that I've not felt for a week, knowing for certain where she is.  I do have to say this and I'd be lying if I didn't.  I hate this.  BUT.  It is what it is. Now, it's time to "be mighty".

ZJ.  After almost 16 hours on Saturday and Sunday in the ER...after bloodwork, X-rays, ultrasound, several IVs for rehydration and pain, we still have no clue what is wrong with Zeej.  Monday was her best day in almost a week. We were sent home, quite frustrated, I might add, with a "colonoscopy prep" drink to "flush any possible virus through her". She didn't mind the taste of the nasty lemon drink, but, as for it making a difference... not so much.  She will be seeing a surgeon on Wednesday.  The ER doctor's bottom line, "Take her home, bring her back again if it gets worse, and eventually, we'll go ahead and remove the appendix.  But, for now, she looks too good on paper to do anything." Seriously?  An eleven year old child, curled up in a ball, sobbing with pain at a "9-10" on the pain chart for five days and that's all ya got?  I wasn't amused.  BUT.  Again.  It's time to "be mighty".

Doug gave ZJ a beautiful father's blessing and in the blessing, he said, "We're given pain to appreciate the perfect body that Heavenly Father has created for us."  Boy, is that the truth!  It's so easy to appreciate our health when we don't have it!

Mom.  Help me. ;)  I can't even go there, but suffice it to say that I never anticipated at age 53, I'd be worrying about my mother, her dog and her manfriend!  

Rick.  My brother cracks me up.  Totally. He invited himself over, with a pizza, to spend the day yesterday.  I was not alone for one minute all day long.  It was fine.  ZJ was lying on the couch.  I caught up on seven loads of laundry since I've been a little preoccupied. (The laundry truly brought home the realization that Zaylee is gone more than anything else has, as her little socks and clothes would come through.  I will be sending her clothes to Kevin today.  Ouch.) So, Rick and I watched Mamma Mia, which he'd never even heard of.  Big, burly, rough and tough Rick likes ABBA and he laughed out loud through the whole movie.  I thought that Rick living up the street with Mom would be a nightmare.  I'm enjoying him.  He's loud.  He's obnoxious.  He's crude.  But, he's very entertaining and he becomes an instant teddy bear around the kids.  He's really trying to be a good uncle, bring treats and snacks and, very much, respecting our "house rules".  ZJ said, "Uncle Rick makes me laugh, Mom."  Me, too, Zeej.  Me too. Rick loves to "escape" to our house for a break from Mom and Boyd.  My favorite thing is listening to his whispered messages on my iPhone, "Help me.  Save me.  You neeeeeeeed me to come down right now."

Dad.  During all of the other "drama", for lack of a better word, my dad had to have two stints put into his heart. He's doing much better.  He's been worried sick about Zaylee and Zeej, calling a few times a day.  Who'd have ever guessed, after 35 years of living without my family in my life directly, that they'd all be right here all the time, even if only by phone.  Again.  No complaints.  Just fact.

There are several other things happening in our world right now, as well.  But, I've share more than enough for one day. I admit, it has been one of those weeks that I've struggled with being the open book that I am.  I've not wanted to sound like a whiner or a martyr. While I was in church on Sunday, I looked at another sister in our ward and my heart ached for her.  Her trials made mine seem almost insignificant.  That was, again, a tender mercy for me...the reminder that no matter how tough things seem, someone else always has it tougher!

 I've appreciated every single good thought, phone call, text, email and visit over the past week.  I've barely had a moment alone since Zaylee left and that, too, has probably been a tremendous blessing to us. I'm grateful for the love and support that we feel when it is time to "be mighty".

If I could share one lesson learned this week, it would be this message.  Trials and struggles are the only good time to ask, "What's in it for me?"  Because with every fiber of my being, I believe that, like it or not, the tougher the challenge, the bigger the lesson is in it for each of us.  Enough said.

 Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries
with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

Kevin called!

I've not been alone since the moment I woke up this morning.  And I'm still not.  BUT.  Kevin called from Arkansas.  I'm so thrilled.  ZJ and I were able to speak with Zaylee. She sounds great.  I still have company and slipped away long enough to share this good news.  Details tomorrow.  Again, thank you for continued prayers.

faith

The circumstances are beginning to settling into our minds, our hearts, our souls.  There are many questions... Will Kevin call soon? When? Where are they?  Is Zaylee missing us?  Is she confused? She would be with us today.  Does she realize that she's so far away from home?  What does she understand?  And yet, with the questions not answered, all we can do is put our faith and trust in Heavenly Father and remind ourselves that she is His daughter and He loves her more than we could ever begin to understand, too.

Also, after five hours. blood work, several lab tests and an Ultrasound at the hospital with ZJ, we have no more answers than when we went in.  We came home with her in as much pain as when we arrived, lots of frustration, but no answers.

Regardless of any of these circumstances, our resolve...we put our trust in Him and know that all will be well. Thank you for your continued prayers. We are humbled by the kindness and concern that we have received.  Thank you, thank you.  Enough said.

Sent by my sweet friend, Jayne:

day 4

Again, thank you for the many prayers and contacts for our missing granddaughter, Zaylee.  There has still been no contact from Kevin.  However, Stott and Wendy, Doug and I went to dinner (a much needed out that really brought some relief...we discussed the situation non-stop for an hour and then said that we would not discuss it again during dinner.  Although, it's our every other thought, it was good to not talk about it for an hour.)  While driving, we happened to see Kevin's brother.  We felt that it was a tender mercy that we happened to pull into this random side street and find him standing there talking with friends.  He was very kind and respectful toward both Doug and I.  He informed us that more than likely, Kevin has taken Zaylee to Arkansas.  He gave us more details about Kevin's leaving.  Apparently, this was something he'd been planning for quite some time.  We pled with him to relay the message to Kevin, asking him to make contact with us.  He's been around the babes before and when he asked about them, I told him that they have been devastated by this.  He seemed surprised and touched that they have cried their eyes out too.  I honestly felt that this was an awakening moment... to the fact that this is far more than Kevin just "getting even" with Kelly, but that this action is affecting so many more people in Zaylee's little circle of life.

Again, we feel confident that he would never do anything to hurt Zaylee.  At this point, Kelly seems to be giving up and accepting it as what is supposed to be.  I can't even address this thought process.  For now, we just want to hear from Kevin.  We just want to speak with Zaylee.  We assured his brother that this was all we were asking for.  

There's nothing more to share, but, again, we appreciate the many prayers in our behalf and feel so much love. Doug and I, both, have been overwhelmed by your support. Thank you.  Truth be told... Life is good, but didn't feel so good today. The kids are really struggling with this.  It hurts so deeply.  But, we will continue to try and have faith in Heavenly Father's plan...whatever it may be.  Enough said.

update

First of all, thank you, each and every one of you, for the thoughts and prayers.  The emails, text messages, phone calls and comments were overwhelming and we have felt your prayers. Although I've not been able to return any contacts, except a few texts, words can not express our gratitude for our many friends who care.  Thank you.  Oh.  I was asked Zaylee's full name several times.  Anderson is her last name.  Thank you again.

I spent the day from 7AM on with Carol's daughter, who was having more tests run.  Since Carol is a kindergarten teacher and we have been anticipating that she may need the time off work, if Taylor has surgery, I've tried to be there for her during these tests until they diagnosed the cause of her issues.  Taylor will be having her gall bladder removed on Tuesday.  This was good news...not that she has to have surgery, but that we hopefully can finally see a way for her to get better.

We did have contact with Kelly a few times during the day.  Her world is being turned upside down.  Her landlord, a friend of Kevin's... Even though she pays that bills and earns the money that pays them, she's been asked to leave.   She's devastated.  She feels that she has lost friends, possessions and her daughter.  She feels defeated and hopeless in getting Zaylee back.  His emotional abuse has certainly taken it's toll on her.  

According to the police officer who's been in frequent contact with me for the past two days, no one in Kevin's circle seems to have a clue or even knew that anything was "up".  If they know, they aren't talking. We are still praying desparately that Kevin will at least acknowlege and recognize that in this home are five very concerned people who love Zaylee very much and that Liza and Buddy are also mortified about the entire situation.

Because of the circumstances, I don't feel comfortable sharing the details of the legalities and options involved.  But, I will say this much.  Our hands, at this time, are completely tied.  I've cried until the tears won't come.  I sit here, shaking my head, in disbelief that this is actually happening.  I keep telling myself, "Focus on the big picture, Sophia. "  It hurts.  More than anything I could ever put words to.  This is my worst nightmare come true. No complaining.  Just a fact.

Kelly doesn't want to talk.  We've tried.  She hangs up on everyone who's contacted her.  She's a mess.  We would love to be able to help her, but, we also are determined not to have this be any more upsetting than it already is to the babes.  They recognize that her choices have brought her life to this awful point.  There have been many, many tears and deep conversations.  Quayd even wanted to go to Kelly and "Try to talk some sense into her."  

I've said more than enough.   I did want to express our appreciation.  I also need to share that ZJ had her little school opera last night. Life goes on, in spite of the unpleasantries, doesn't it?  When you have kids at home, there is no choice.   Although my mind was far from the song and dance most of the time, the kids did a great job and she loved her small role.  There were far too many girls, so she volunteered to be a miner!

 It was all that I could do to NOT burst into tears when they sang the finale, "You'll Be in my Heart", from Tarzan.  This was the song that I sang with Quayd as a toddler, reminding him that whatever happened, wherever he was, we'd be together.  He still remembers that and I know that he was thinking of Zaylee, right along with me, when the kids sang it at the finale.

Also, I might mention that ZJ is in bed right now, with me "on call", prepared to take her to the ER.  She's been showing signs of appendicitis for a few days and it has been getting worse.  We do have a doctor appointment today for her to be seen, but she knows that we'll go straight to the ER if she wakes up any worse.  As I look at both photos, I can see that she was not feeling her best.  Oh my.

WHO would  have guessed that this was where our heads and hearts would be 72 hours ago.  When it rains, sometimes it pours.  But, and I still believe it with all my heart, life is good.  It just has to have it's ugly moments for us to appreciate the good.  It's ugly.  And I'm appreciating every second of good right now.  We also appreciate your continued prayers.  Enough said.

zaylee

Some people might call this "airing your dirty laundry".  I don't care.  We need your prayers.  If you've read my blog for any time, you know that we are open book. It is what it is.  Life happens and the main point is that we are to grow from every experience. Just this morning, I said to a friend, "I recognize that life has it's challenges and some of them may even be horrific.  I just hope that I have enough faith to keep that eternal perspective/the big picture in mind through those rough spots."  Little did I know that I was only hours from one of those "rough spots".  This one is a growing experience, if there ever was one.  We need your prayers and faith.   Our three year old granddaughter, Zaylee, is missing.  

Sometime in the past 24 hours, Kelly's husband, Kevin, literally, trashed their house, removing everything that was/is worth anything and has disappeared off the face of the earth with Zaylee.  He is suspected to be heading to Arkansas or Washington State with Zaylee.  He has, in the past, threatened Kelly with "I'll take her and you'll never see her again."   Yesterday, he cleaned out Kelly's phone of all numbers of his family and friends, so that she would have no way of contacting any of them, he gathered every photograph of Zaylee in the home.  And he left.

Theirs has been such a volatile relationship since the beginning.  There are always two sides to every story and with them, who knows what happened this time?  All we do know is that Kelly came home from work to a destroyed and mostly empty house, the money was gone, his cellphone is no longer in service and Zaylee is gone.

Kelly has little interaction with us, other than when she needs us to tend or when making arrangements for us to keep Zaylee on the weekends.  So, we have no clue what led up to this recent "chapter". And where Kelly and Kevin are concerned, as Doug always says, "this is them and tomorrow, it could be a whole other story." Not to sound heartless and cold, but Kelly and Kevin are adults. They have made their choices and their unhappiness is the natural consequence of those choices.  That, we can not help.  BUT.

Zaylee is an innocent three year old child caught in the middle of their nightmare of dysfunction.  I'm pleading for any good thoughts and prayers in Zaylee's behalf.   We are praying for her safety, for Kevin's heart to be softened enough to contact us so that we know where she is and , as always, that Kelly will be given the sound mind and reasoning to make better choices, especially in the handling of this situation.  IF Kevin does not make contact soon, it could be considered "custodial interference", which, if he has left the state, is a felony.  Kevin loves Zaylee and we feel confident that he would not harm her.  But, we are very concerned about Zaylee's emotional welfare and this total disruption in her little world.  We are literally sick over this.  If  you would, please, keep Zaylee in your prayers.  Thank you.  Enough said.

buzzzzz

At 10:30, I've already been out and about all morning long and am back out the door in fifteen minutes.  It must be MAY!!!  The end of the school year is always so filled with busy things.  I need to run, so here's another rambling entry.  Quickly!

• I was on my way to town yesterday morning when my phone rang.  It was the Jr. High School calling to ask if I was on my way to our meeting?  WHAT meeting?  I said, "I'm in my truck right now, I'll be right there."  I did a U-turn and headed north to the school for a planning meeting for Grace's first year there.  I had no clue that I had this meeting.  NONE!  I came home and looked in her file, looked through my planner.  There's no notice of anything anyplace.  Fortunately, I was able to be there and get things done.  OOPS.  My bad.  Too many meetings!  Too much on my mind.  Another plug for using a planner. USING being the operative word!
• I took Grace to the dentist yesterday after school for her check-up.  While there, the office manager, came in and said that she needed to ask me a big favor.   BIG.  I joked, "Do you want me to move my truck?"  She said, "HUUUUGE!"  Okey dokey then.  They are filming a commercial and asked me to be one of their patients.  I said, "WHAT?  I'm SHY!!!"  They laughed and said that when Brett had been approached with the whole idea, I came to mind  because they know that I love them all so much.  He's right!  I do!  I have the greatest dentist and he has the greatest staff in the world!  BUT.  I am camera shy.  They are giving me a few days to think about it.  Seriously?  Me??
• At Grace's teacher conference, it was mentioned that she's acing language arts except that she doesn't remember to track her reading.  Grace!?  Seriously?  The child who walks down the street with her face in a book??  So, last night, we sat down and recorded all of the books that she's read in the last two months.  She's read 5000 pages!!!!!   She listed the books and I checked the page numbers on Amazon.  As we clicked on each book, she would say, "Oh!  That's my favorite!  I love that one!  It had [this person or that event] ... or It's the one where...."  She is definitely a reader!  Today, she'll probably jump to first place in the reading challenge, simply by turning in her paperwork!  Paperwork...ugh.  I get that.
• One last random thought... I'm Soooooooooooo excited about Castle!!  This is my favorite TV show!  Well, besides Survivor and Idol.  I have loved every minute of this show and the finale of this season looks so promising!  I love the possibilities of Kate Beckett and Rick Castle together!  Have I mentioned that my dentist looks like Rick Castle/Nathan Finnian?  Looking forward to next Monday... then it will be wait till fall to see what happens.  Summertime...no TV time.  I actually look forward to that too!

Life is really good.  Crazy, crazy, busy, good, but so good!    

You could make a wish or you could make it happen!

yagottaluvit!

I was awakened this morning to the sound of thunder that shook the house!  It poured the rain for about twenty minutes and blew over.  Yagottaluvit it!

I'm off this morning to run errands, have lunch with Denise and then Grace has a dentist appointment this afternoon before her Young Womens Activity.  ZJ has opera rehearsal and piano lessons.  Quayd has piano and Young Mens/Scouts.  Somewhere in there, I'll squeeze in dinner.  Tuesdays are our craziest day of the week.  I really like having all the action on one day and leaving the rest for come what may and Yagottaluvit.  (Oh, I crack myself up.)

I've been spending a lot of time helping a friend with some doctor visits and can I just say that life is expensive?!  So far, Gracie's broken finger has cost us just over $1000 and we're not even close to reaching our deductible, so it's all out of pocket.  Yagottaluvit!

ZJ's big opera is this week.  Rehearsals every day.  She is so thrilled.  I am so thrilled that this is the last opera we'll have to deal with, as she will no longer be in elementary school after June.  I can't believe that all three of the babes are in that next phase of life.  Time flies much too fast.  BUT, no more elementary school!   Yagottaluvit.

We bought the new released DVD, "We Bought a Zoo".  This movie is so dang good for the family.  Lots of things to talk about in it.  It's clean and decent and sweet.  Not at all the slapsticky comedy I expected and not a kids silly animal movie.  It's a serious movie with serious issues, a few giggles.  Good family entertainment.  Yagottaluvit.  We did!

It looks as though our Phantom of the Opera trip in June is not going to happen.   The scheduling was a nightmare and Gracie and Quayd will now be at Scout Camp and Girls Camp that same week.  Carol will be making the trip with her kids instead.  Doug will be chaperoning both camps.  ZJ and I will be doing our thing all by our lonesome.  We'll make the most of our little time together.  Life can be so busy.  And the rest of the summer, will be calm and quiet.  It all had to happen the same week.  Yagottaluvit.

Kelly called this morning to ask me if I'd start tending Zaylee again.   It's almost summer.  Schools almost out. A three year old changes everything.  BUT, we want Zaylee around as much as possible for her own sake.  Hmmm.  What to do, what to do.  Yagottaluvit.

My brother, Rick, is getting a little stir-crazy spending all of his time with Mom and her manfriend, Boyd.  He thinks he needs to be invited to my lunchdates and girls night out...with all of my married friends. While I have really grown to like my brother, that's not happening!  Yagottaluvhim!

This make-uP...  Seriously?  People really do this?  Yagottaluvit??

The kids are begging their dad for a new dog.  A wolf-husky breed.  We had one years ago.  She was stolen from our back yard.  We were devastated.  She was the first dog we ever paid money for.  Shumoni.  (Right when Dances with Wolves was big.)  We loved her so much and I think that she is the only dog that Doug has ever really mourned the loss of.   After watching videos of "the old days", the kids have done nothing but beg us for another "Shumoni".  Doug's not even close to warming up to this idea.  I'd buy one today. Yagottaluvit.

Life is good.  Busy.  Crazy.  Wild.  Expensive.  But, gooo-ooood!  Enough said.

Life is far too short to be sad, to be mad, to hold regret,
to look back, to be sad, to be unkind.  
Be nice and do good!  Every day is new!