I try to keep things positive but today, something struck a nerve. I'm over it. I said what was on my mind and I did try to say it tongue in cheek. I always get the funniest emails when I "rant". Please don't take offense if you are guilty of the "offense" below. Just know that this is "how we really feel."
I'm loving this day already! Jason, our grandson, is visiting. He and Quayd slept out in the open tent last night and were up bright and early this morning hanging out with the girls. The are all dressed and on the move already, making plans for a big day. They are always so excited to be together.
What is really interesting was to watch Jason and Zaylee together. She's got the geneology down and realizes that Jason is her big brother. "He was in Mamma's tummy with me when I was a baby." It's funny, she knows all eight of Kelly's birth children by name and in her little mind, they are a part of her life. She definitely connects with Jason.
When Katie dropped Jason off to stay last night, she came bearing a gift! I'm very happy!
While the kids were at a YM/YW activity and before Jason arrived, Zaylee Skyped with Buddy and Liza for an hour. It's funny whenever we call Liza, she always says, "I don't want to talk to them, I want to do that thing where they are in your phone." She plays games with them, tells them about her day, plays hide and seek with them. Too cute. Last night, she showed them how to do her fluoride rinse. Oh, how I love that technology allows us to be "together" even when we aren't.
This morning, while we were having breakfast, we were talking about names. Zaylee and Miki call us Grammie and Grampie. Jason says Grama and Grampa. I told him that he could call us Gram and Gramp since he's a big boy. It brought up a whole other topic with Quayd, who later came into the gallery and said, "Some people still call you my grandma and it makes me so angry. I tell them you are my mom and they say "yeh, but she's still your grandma." (He named two friends and a teacher.)
Really?? We just don't get why this whole situation is so hard for people to understand?! We've been a family since they were all three in diapers. We've never received one penny of child support from anyone. We have taught them, cared for them, loved them as only parents would. NEVER, do Doug or I consider them our grands. EVER. They have or want no connection at all with either of their birth parents. Even Kelly, who they see on occasion as she is in and out... In their eyes, she's the distant big sister who chooses not to be an active part of our family, who makes lots of bad choices and, sadly, who sets the example of what they do not want in life. They express gratitude in every single prayer that we are a family. We are the only parents that they want. We all chose to be a family and have never been anything but thrilled about it.
WHY must people debate this? And especially debate it with our children! Why wouldn't people just celebrate that we are a family, instead of trying to make them feel different? Doug and I just chuckle when someone says something like, "Are you still raising your grandchildren?" We always respond, "We are raising our children... Legally in the eyes of the Law and Eternally Sealed in the eyes of God." They look at us like we are confused. And that's fine. But, to debate it with the kids, this just makes no sense. It's as though someone is trying to tell them something that they don't know? " NOOOOO!!!! Really!? She's my grandmother?! Why didn't someone tell me!?" ;)
Whenever I am with any my grands, Miki, Jason and Zaylee, I do feel like their grandmother. Even though Zaylee is living here currently, there is a distinct difference. She is my granddaughter and I treat her as such. Our relationship feels completely different. Grandmas can love them and send them home to their parents, adopted or not! But, Quayd, Grace and ZJ are not my grands! I can spoil them with love, but I don't send them home because they are home. I discipline them, teach them, make them do chores, play with, hurt with and love them every second of every day. My feelings as I raise them are absolutely the same as it was when we were raising the bigs. They are our children in every sense of the word. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
While in a DCFS appointment last week, I read a statistic that one in every eleven children is being raised by grandparents today. I'm sure that not all of these families have been blessed to adopt like Doug and I were. But, in this ever-changing world, I wish that people could respect this. We have gay rights and black rights, I want adoptive family rights! LOL As I spoke with one of these "official" people last week, and he knew the history, he made a comment about Zaylee being here with her two aunts and uncle. I wanted to kiss the man! "YOU GET IT!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!" That's all. I'm stepping down off the rant box now. But, if you or your children happen to know my kids, please treat them with the respect that they deserve. If they'd been adopted by total strangers, no one would ever say, "But, they're not your real parents." Thank you. Enough said.
Deep breath. I think I need a Dirty Diet Coke!
The puzzle. Nine days later. ALMOST done! This is the longest I have ever worked on a puzzle in my life! I should finish it tonight after Doug and the kids are all down!
Between running this one and that one to school registrations, it's going to be a busy few days. Four kids. Four schools this year. Should be interesting! Quayd and Zeej are so not ready. Grace is downstairs getting beautiful to go to her registration. She can hardly wait! One week from tomorrow for the kids. Three weeks for Zaylee. I am never a mom that is sad to see her kids go back to school and I bear no shame in admitting it. But, as the kids get older, I get less and less excited to see them go. I'm not ready for summer to be over! Not even close. A friend said yesterday, "Don't you get sick of them fighting?" My kids don't fight. They are friends and always have been. Quayd does his share of teasing but really, for the most part, they have fun together. Please pass one more month of summer vacation! Or even two would be nice!
German Pancakes for breakfast, kids and grandkids having a ball, a noisy home this morning. Life is good!