A don't want to forget... Several years ago, someone shared something with me, something negative that someone had said about me. Knowing what was said, but more importantly, who had said it, hurt me deeply. Over the years, I've tried to let it go, but everytime I was near that person, I could not help but recall the sting of those words. In the past few years, I've grown closer to that person, but still, the words were never far from my mind and heart causing me to always keep my gaurd up a bit around them. I'd forgiven them long ago, but that defensive mechanism in the brain and heart would not forget. Through the years, I've prayed that I could let it go, but the words lingered. Over the past few weeks, in the middle of all the other things on my mind, I've prayed sincerely to get past that hurt and to be able to "let it go" because it was so long ago and so many circumstances have changed. I've been almost certain that they would never say what they'd said today.
Yesterday, I received a tender mercy. A man in our ward walked up to me and said, "Sophia, I have something I must share with you. Someone really thinks the world of you." I had no clue who he could possibly be talking about. First, he shared so much praise and good feelings from this person, that he'd recently encountered for the first time. Apparently, they were discussing where he was from and Doug and I came into the conversation. The man shared that this person heard my name and "could not say enough good" about me. He then said, "I could just feel this person's love for you, they couldn't stop... and to hear that kind of love, especially from ______(he mentioned our specific relationship), it's rare and that made it even more significant." He just went on. With tears, I thanked him and told him, "You have no idea how much that means to me." It was a tender mercy, an answer to my prayer of many years.
When Connie began her first "Presidency Message" in Relief Society, Sunday morning, her first words were about how forgiveness and the atonement mean can make such a difference in our lives. I wish I could remember her words precisely, but I was too busy trying not to cry to take a moment and write them down. Indeed, prayers answered. I can finally let it go. Those hurtful words were long ago forgiven, but will now I will be able to let them go and not be so on gaurd for one more moment. I almost wanted to call the person and say, "GUESS WHAT!? I'm over it!" I'm sure that they have no clue that I was ever "under" it, so it would be futile.
Three lessons to be learned here...
1. Don't repeat the negative. It can do no good. IF you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Having never known what that person said all those years ago would have saved me much heartache.
2. PRAY for whatever it takes to get over things that you are under. Prayers are answered, even the most simple prayers that don't really seem like they'd matter to Heavenly Father.
3. If you can ever find a reason to say something good to say to someone, by all means, say it! Who'd have thought that this man sharing a good thing with me could be a life-chaging moment in my life? Certainly, he had no idea when he shared it with me. What a difference one simple conversation can make!
It was a whirlwind, the past two weeks. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated, we planned and carried out plans. We loved. I'm so so grateful for the feelings of love, of appreciation, for the love shared and felt by so many. It's been so amazing. I've loved the opportunity to serve Mom, to spoil Liza, to be close to Doug, to watch the babes love the time with Liza, to be Grammie to Aylabelle. Oh my word, it's been wonderful.
This morning, Quayd and I were at the dentist at 7:30. We did some errands and had lunch with Denise, then hit the case lot sale at the grocery store, replenishing some much needed food storage. We're going to watch a movie while I do some laundry and enjoy our last two hours alone before the girls get home from school. Life is good!
By becoming the answer to someone's prayer we often find the answer to our own.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf